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Jan 9, 2024

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Can you describe your background and upbringing in Nepal, including the cultural and societal norms you were exposed to regarding arranged marriages? Growing up in Nepal, I was exposed to a rich and diverse culture that shaped my upbringing and influenced my perspectives on various aspects of life, including arranged marriages. Nepal is known for its unique cultural heritage, which is deeply rooted in traditions and customs that have been passed down through generations. In terms of my background, I come from a traditional Nepali family where arranged marriages have been a common practice for many years. Arranged marriages are seen to strengthen family ties, preserve cultural values, and ensure social compatibility between the couple. It is important to note that while arranged marriages are still prevalent in Nepal, there has been a gradual shift towards love marriages in urban areas. Despite the cultural significance of arranged marriages in Nepal, attitudes and practices are evolving. With increasing exposure to the outside world and the influence of globalization, young Nepalis are now seeking a balance between tradition and personal choice. Many individuals are actively participating in the decision-making process and expressing their preferences when it comes to choosing a life partner. In conclusion, my background and upbringing in Nepal exposed me to the cultural and societal norms surrounding arranged marriages. While arranged marriages continue to be an integral part of Nepali society, there is a growing recognition of the importance of personal choice and compatibility. The changing dynamics reflect a shift towards a more balanced approach that respects tradition while embracing individual agency and happiness.

How did this traumatic experience impact your mental and emotional well-being, particularly in terms of depression and trauma? Mental health issues, such as depression and trauma, had been a part of my life after my marriage. The everyday torture I endured from my partner left me feeling sad, hopeless, and uninterested in daily activities. The constant fear, stress, and emotional abuse associated with domestic violence from my husband caused me to feel trapped, powerless, and isolated. I even tried to kill myself several times but didn’t have courage. I used to remember my family every time I thought of committing suicide which abstained me from taking that decision. Words can’t explain the mental health problem I had to go through after I was married. What were the turning points or moments that led you to consider pursuing a divorce as a way to break free from this situation? In the context of my abusive relationship, the following situation worked as my turning point. 1. Increased Awareness: I realized the severity of the situation through conversations with friends and family. This included the understanding that my spouse's behavior is abusive, and not normal, and made me realize that it's not my fault. Support from my friends and family made me realize that this is the time I need to divorce him. 2. Escalation of Abuse: The abuse had escalated to a point where I felt my physical safety or emotional well-being was in immediate danger. This includes an especially violent episode and an increased frequency of abusive incidents in my daily life. Self-realization that I have to Move on from this marriage helped me as a turning point too.\

4. Loss of Hope: I lost hope that my spouse would change. My abusive spouse broke promises to stop the abuse and failed to benefit from interventions like counseling or anger management programs. 5. Strengthened Self-Worth: I reached a point of self-empowerment, realizing that I deserved better than abuse. This could be the result of therapy, self-help resources, or support groups. 6. Support System: Finally, the establishment of a strong support system has been a turning point for me, giving me the confidence and resources that I needed to leave.

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