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Geanni Byrd COU- 520 Diversity in Counseling 4-2 Short Paper: Helping Darryl and Samar to “Fight Fairly”

While reading Helping Darryl and Samara to “Fight Fairly” in Chapter 16 of the textbook, I could point out several cultural differences between the counselor and the clients. To begin, Darryl is a European American with an MBA degree who owns his small business. His family is Christian, but he states to the counselor that he is unsure of his family’s being. He does mention a relationship with one of his sisters. His partner Samar is an Indian American who immigrated to the States when he was only 15. Samar does have an accent when he speaks, and he has a master’s degree in computer science. Samar works at a shoe company as a database manager. Samar also helps Darryl out in his small business some work. The counselor Dr. Goody is an immigrant from Turkey receiving her college and graduate degrees here in the United States. Dr. Goody has worked in the community mental health setting for ten years. Darryl and Samar are two gay males who married soon after their state allowed same-sex marriage. A conflict arose a short time ago when Samar let Darryl know that some changes need to be made in his schedule, or that he will no longer work. Dr. Goody reflects on the notes and concerns given by the men along with their noted dynamic in the session that their communication can sometimes be effective with the other. In addition to communication, the difference in cultural dynamics and being in a same-sex marriage may be an implication. I appreciate the session that Dr. Goody has done with these two individuals and think she did a great job given the issue at hand. I liked her approach to helping the couples understand that their interactions with friends, and co-workers are impacting their relationship. Dr. Goody realized that communication is an issue, as well as two other implications. Dr. Goody observes these differences and begins to try to create understanding in their relationship. Samar’s ethnic background could be a factor in Samar’s indirect passive approach. Darryl’s background and his

religious beliefs may have led to feelings of oppression like Samar’s but different. I liked how Dr. Goody throughout the session used micro skills to allow the client to speak about their experiences through silence, reflection of feeling, and open-ended questions. During the session, while Dr. Goody used open-ended questions, it allowed for more silence between answers and allowed for the clients to open up. I would have also taken this approach during the session, using silence allows your client to reflect on what is being talked about in a safe space. Dr. Goody was sort of the guide for their communication, which was helpful. Darryl and Samar have faced adversity during their time as a same-sex couple. For example, both men’s cultural backgrounds do not openly support LGBTQ+ individuals. During the session, both men discussed wanting to communicate better with one another. Being gay men, both men have faced unkindness from the world around them, it has been a constant battle. Communication is a big part of a relationship, having an understanding provided by Dr. Goody could lead to being more self-aware. In directing Samar and Darryl, the ACA Code of Ethics must be steadily thought-out, just like different customers—the vital presents as B.4.b as couples and offspring enjoining. In B.4.b, it is implicit the one individual is the "customer," and accompanying the abutting spouse, skilled are few disadvantages and beliefs of the meeting and in secret. (American Counseling Association, 2014, Section B.4.b) If Samar is giving as the basic customer of Dr. Goody, I again pay surprisingly wonderful consideration to A.4.b Personal Values. A.4.b outlines the need to "prevent impressive - own principles, stances, assumptions and practices." (American Counseling Association, 2014, Section A.4.b) This is the main cause Dr. Goody and Samar share

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correspondences in emigration to the United States. Dr. Goody would need to air furthermore in consideration of caution not to limit Darryl's knowledge as she concedes possibility pertains considerably to Samar’s as her own. As an adviser, the need to be informed about the latest trends our biases, and so forth differences is owned by not forming judgments against our customers, whether those judgments be for or against the correspondences in backdrops, breeding, and knowledge.

References American Counseling Association. (2014). 2014 ACA code of ethics. https://www.counseling.org/docs/default-source/default-document-library/ 2014-code-of- ethics-finaladdress.pdf Duan, C., & Brown, C. (2016). Becoming a multiculturally competent counselor. SAGE.

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