Reflection20Assignment2023220-20Kayla20Shantz20(1261345)

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Apr 3, 2024

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Reflection Assignment #2 Nurturing Bonds: Reflections on Parent-Child Relationships Kayla Shantz (1261345) Department of Family Relations and Applied Nutrition, University of Guelph FRHD1020: Couple and Family Relationships Dr. Davies March 29th, 2024

When I lost my dad at the age of six, it changed my life in so many ways that I didn’t even think was possible and was a huge tragedy– one that sparked a profound period of curiosity and contemplation. Not only did the thought of the absence of my dad shake me, but the later realization that the bond I developed with him would have a great impact of who I am today and how important the relationship is between a parent and child in those early stages of our life. As I began processing the loss as I got older and had an easier time understanding it all, questions flooded my mind about the nature of parent-child relationships and their enduring impact on our development. I began to research some theories and concepts with an eagerness to reveal the complexities that define these fundamental bonds. What came from all of it was an appreciation for the influence that familial dynamics have on our sense of self and belonging. According to Bowlby's (1969) theory of attachment, my father's death had greatly destructed the secure bond I had developed with him, which left me feeling like I lost a part of my identity and who I am, causing me to seek direction from my mother. The theory's claim that early attachments set the stage for later relationships and emotional health is further supported by this destruction. Bowlby and other attachment theorists posit that parental loss also increases the probability of other contextual challenges and also decreases the child’s resilience to future adversity (Coffino, 2009). My father's absence during my emerging stages of development shows the important impact that parent-child relationships have on forming an individual's feeling of security and value. To add to that, the study of attachment styles and how they affect relationships with others gave me great insight into my own attachment styles and how they might affect my relationships in the future.

Family Systems Theory, which Bowen (1978) developed, provides an insight on how family members are related to one another and how the dynamics within the family work. My father's death caused my family to experience huge changes which showed first-hand how the loss of a parent can greatly impact and change the family system and need adaptation as well as resilience in order to maintain support and cohesion through our shared grief. Family Systems Theory emphasizes the interrelationships of family dynamics through the reorganization of roles within the family unit after this loss and the interplay of familial ties. Looking at ideas such as emotional boundaries, differentiation, and separation helped me better understand the complex patterns of interaction that exist within my family and gave me a foundation for comprehending the complexities of family dynamics. This reflection assignment has allowed me to gain an even better understanding regarding parent-child relationships and the lengths that losing a parent affects one’s life, in both good and bad ways. The value of developing and maintaining solid parent-child relationships—which are the foundation of human development and emotional health—has been highlighted by this experience. I am appreciative of the forever bond that I will have with my father that also connects me to his memory. Although my bond with him has ended, the bond we did have will be with me forever and has allowed me to create an even stronger bond with my mother. This reflection strengthened the impact of love and connection within family, while also improving my knowledge of parent-child interactions and offering useful knowledge about the dynamics of family systems and their effects on human development.

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Coffino, B. (2009). The role of childhood parent figure loss in the etiology of adult depression: findings from a prospective longitudinal study. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5872144/#:~:text=Loss%20of%20an %20attachment%20figure,adversity%20(Bowlby%2C%201982).

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