Strengths: - Shows strong company's focus on quality. - The company states its good intention to add Inglesina products. Weakness: - It is disorganized, hard to read, and lacks clarity. - Passive voice, "We don't want to waste our time," makes the message less direct, rude, and not formal. - Phrases like "good enough, well-built enough" sounds informal (2) Revised Message Subject: Inquiry Regarding Retail Partnership with Best Baby Gear Dear Inglesina Representee, I hope you are doing well. My name is Nelson, and I am the marketing manager at Best Baby Gear, an online store selling premium products for parents. Our premium products for babies, newborns, and toddlers are something that we take into consideration. After our consideration, we have decided that Inglesina is a brand that shares our dedication to quality. We value how beautiful and skillful your highchairs and strollers are. Hence, we would love to consider the possibility of including Inglesina products in our sections. We are confident adding your prestigious brand will improve our offer and provide high standards for our portfolio. We would be happy to arrange a meeting to discuss the possible relationship. Please let us know when would be a good time to talk more about this partnership, and we will be happy to set up a call. We appreciate your consideration of Best Baby Gear and are excited to be part of your collaboration. Best Regards, Marketing Manager Nelson Chien Best Baby Gear www.bestbabygear.com

Social Psychology (10th Edition)

10th Edition

ISBN:9780134641287

Author:Elliot Aronson, Timothy D. Wilson, Robin M. Akert, Samuel R. Sommers

Publisher:Elliot Aronson, Timothy D. Wilson, Robin M. Akert, Samuel R. Sommers

Chapter1: Introducing Social Psychology

Section: Chapter Questions

Problem 1RQ1

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Question

Discuss two ways your classmate leveraged the three components and tips of LO-3 (tone, plain language, active voice) to improve the paragraph and what the impact of those could be on the Inglesina company's reaction to the email.

Here is the work from my classmate:

Transcribed Image Text:Strengths: - Shows strong company's focus on quality. - The company states its good intention to add Inglesina products. Weakness: - It is disorganized, hard to read, and lacks clarity. - Passive voice, "We don't want to waste our time," makes the message less direct, rude, and not formal. - Phrases like "good enough, well-built enough" sounds informal (2) Revised Message Subject: Inquiry Regarding Retail Partnership with Best Baby Gear Dear Inglesina Representee, I hope you are doing well. My name is Nelson, and I am the marketing manager at Best Baby Gear, an online store selling premium products for parents. Our premium products for babies, newborns, and toddlers are something that we take into consideration. After our consideration, we have decided that Inglesina is a brand that shares our dedication to quality. We value how beautiful and skillful your highchairs and strollers are. Hence, we would love to consider the possibility of including Inglesina products in our sections. We are confident adding your prestigious brand will improve our offer and provide high standards for our portfolio. We would be happy to arrange a meeting to discuss the possible relationship. Please let us know when would be a good time to talk more about this partnership, and we will be happy to set up a call. We appreciate your consideration of Best Baby Gear and are excited to be part of your collaboration. Best Regards, Marketing Manager Nelson Chien Best Baby Gear www.bestbabygear.com

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