Document for Analysis Please read the following poorly-written email, then create an outline for a more effective email, and post it to this Discussion. Here are some questions to ask yourself while you create an outline: What is the real purpose of this message? Could you make it more "direct"? Which words and phrases are overly complicated, clichéd, too informal, or overly formal? Could you replace them with more simple, familiar words or phrases? Which sentences or words are overly negative? Could they be positively phrased? Are there "I/we" (writer-focused) sentences that could use a "you" (audience-focused) attitude? This email is to Inglesina, an Italian maker of very high-quality and stylish home accessories and decor items. Fabulous Home Accents is writing to Inglesina because they want to sell Inglesina products on their website. However, Inglesina is very selective about who sells their product. Here's the email; it needs work! "Our e-tailing company, Fabulous Home Accents, specializes in only the very best products for discerning clients who want their home to look fabulous. We constantly scour the world looking for products that are good enough and well-built enough and classy enough--good enough that is to take their place alongside the hundreds of other carefully selected products that adorn the pages of our award-winning website, wwwfabhomeaccents We aim for the fences every time we select a product to join this portfolio; we don't want to waste our time with onesey-twosey products that might sell half a dozen units per annum--no, we want every product to be a top-drawer success, selling at least one hundred units per specific model per year in order to justify our expense and hassle factor in adding it to the above mentioned portfolio. After careful consideration, we thusly concluded that your Inglesina lines meet our needs and would therefore like to add it."
Document for Analysis
Please read the following poorly-written email, then create an outline for a more effective email, and post it to this Discussion.
Here are some questions to ask yourself while you create an outline: What is the real purpose of this message? Could you make it more "direct"? Which words and phrases are overly complicated, clichéd, too informal, or overly formal? Could you replace them with more simple, familiar words or phrases? Which sentences or words are overly negative? Could they be positively phrased? Are there "I/we" (writer-focused) sentences that could use a "you" (audience-focused) attitude? This email is to Inglesina, an Italian maker of very high-quality and stylish home accessories and decor items. Fabulous Home Accents is writing to Inglesina because they want to sell Inglesina products on their website. However, Inglesina is very selective about who sells their product. Here's the email; it needs work! "Our e-tailing company, Fabulous Home Accents, specializes in only the very best products for discerning clients who want their home to look fabulous. We constantly scour the world looking for products that are good enough and well-built enough and classy enough--good enough that is to take their place alongside the hundreds of other carefully selected products that adorn the pages of our award-winning website, wwwfabhomeaccents We aim for the fences every time we select a product to join this portfolio; we don't want to waste our time with onesey-twosey products that might sell half a dozen units per annum--no, we want every product to be a top-drawer success, selling at least one hundred units per specific model per year in order to justify our expense and hassle factor in adding it to the above mentioned portfolio. After careful consideration, we thusly concluded that your Inglesina lines meet our needs and would therefore like to add it."
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