Module 4

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Kathy Spencer November 20, 2022 Psy-211 Module Four Describe which of Kubler-Ross’s stages of grief are most applicable to Jackie’s situation. Explain your response. I think that the stage of grief that Jackie is at is depression. Although she is proud that she raised a good daughter and that she left a dysfunctional marriage, she is full of despair about her lack of mobility and independence. She is also feeling some degree of regret for not having given back to society more than she already has. Jackie has started questioning the whole idea that death leads to rebirth, even though she practices Buddhism. Explain how a person experiences Kubler-Ross’s stages of grief. Does a person move through the stages of grief in a linear fashion. I do not believe that people move through the stages of grief in a linear fashion. Each person deals with grief in a different way each and every time. There is no right or wrong way for you do deal with the death of a family member or the possibility of your own death. The stages of grief are not set in stone, and a person can respectfully go through one stage and then something could trigger them, and they end back in that same stage again. What have you read or experienced about grief to support your answer? In the last six years I have been dealing with my own stages of grief over losing my dad. In 2016, my dad lost his battle with cancer. Although nobody including my dad knew that he had a brain tumor. My dad was an attorney, a pro-temp judge for the County of Ventura Superior Court, he was a college professor, a magician, a reporter for two different local papers, in Toastmasters, on the board for the local Rotary Chapter, on the Auxiliary Board for the Salvation Army, an actor for some of the different theater groups, a husband, a father, and of course a grandfather. This man did so many things and touched so many lives over the years. My dad taught me so much while I was growing up and continued to do so even when I was an adult. I remember the night I was told that he was in the hospital and what was going on. It was Wednesday, September 14, 2016, at 9:30 pm, it is forever etched into my brain. I had been in the hospital just that day for heart-related issues. My stepmom called me and said, “Kathy you need to sit down.” I was in the middle of putting down my boyfriend’s two youngest kids for bed and helping him pack as his work was sending him out of town for the next 3 months. I sat on the edge of the bed at first, then I moved into the living room in complete shock. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, there was a mistake, I had just spoken with my dad the day before. My dad was seventy-four at the time, he had a hip replacement a few years earlier, other than that he was healthy. Now granted looking back there were some signs that something was going on medically, but at the time we all just thought that all the things that he was doing on a daily basis were finally starting to catch up to him. He would get headaches more often, but he took aspirin and said they went away. He would take naps more often at the drop of a hat, but with his busy schedule, we all understood that he was starting to take on too much and probably should start to slow down just a little.

My dad passed away on September 30, 2016, just sixteen days after being diagnosed with having a stage four brain tumor that was sitting on his brain stem. I was on the phone talking to him when he passed away, and although he wasn’t talking back, I knew he could hear me. I never got to say goodbye to him in person. My supervisor at work had finally just that afternoon approved for me to take time off to go down and see him, but not until the following Wednesday. Since I had been taking care of my boyfriend’s two younger kids, I couldn’t take them down with me to the Neuro ICU. There was no one on my boyfriend’s side of the family that was willing to help me watch the kids on the weekend, because they couldn’t be bothered. Looking back, I should have just called in sick and dealt with the aftermath of my supervisor then, but I had only been working in that position for a couple of months. Looking at Kubler-Ross’s stages of grief, I know that during those two weeks, while he was in the hospital, I was in the bargaining stage, begging people to help me out just so that I could go see him one last time. Over the last six years, I have floated between all the other stages of grief. I still try to call him to ask him a legal question, and then I remember that he isn’t here anymore, that for me is the denial and acceptance stages rolled into one. I am still very angry at my old supervisor for her part in not letting me take the time off, and at my ex-boyfriend’s family for not being willing to help me with his kids. Not sure if I will get past that part honestly. As for the depression stage, I have my good days and my bad days as does everyone who has ever lost someone. I was a daddy’s girl in every way you can think off, I would go to watch him teach, I would help him at his office all the time, I would join him doing volunteer work, you name it we would do so many things together. I don’t have an answer as to when or even if I will ever get over his death, even writing this I have been crying, I lost a piece of myself when he died. Now since then, my mom and my stepdad have both passed away, this year in fact. As for the stages of grief when it comes to where I am in the process. It took me less than a day to go through the different stages. They stopped talking to me in 2006, and I hadn’t seen them since 2012. So, by the time they both passed away, I had already gone through most of the stages. So, a person can go through the stages in different ways and at different speeds as well. As I said earlier, there is no right or wrong way to go through the different stages. Explain why having a sense of cultural competence (empathy, respect, self-awareness, cultural awareness, communication) could help Jamie be a more effective caregiver. Cultural awareness allows you to connect with people from different ethnic groups. It can help you gain knowledge around their health beliefs, and behaviors as well as give you a better understanding around the different problems that they face. Having worked for 20 years with geriatric patients as a case worker she has gained the knowledge of being able to emphasize with her patients. Jamie’s awareness that we can learn from another person’s unique attitudes, beliefs, values, and wisdom, will help her work with her patients as they start going through the final years of their lives. Given your unique needs, desires, and aspirations, describe some things that you feel will provide you with a sense of life satisfaction as you enter the later stages of the life span. For me having to deal with some major health issues myself over the years, I have really started to look at what I have done and what I still want to do with my life. You never know what might happen from one day to the next, so I feel that you need to start doing things you never thought you could do. For years, I thought I was stuck working and living in the same place for the rest of my life. I didn’t see a way out for the longest time. I will say that since my dad passed away, I knew that no matter what people thought, I had to do what was best for me. My kids grew up and moved out of the house, I was now for all intense and purposes an empty nester in my early 40s. I still wanted to get my degree in

psychology and what better opportunity than that moment. So, I went back to school and got my associate’s degree in not only psychology but also sociology. When I finished that, I then had four associate’s degrees under my belt. The next step was going for my bachelor’s degree. Well move forward a couple of years and a few changes, moving out of state, actually at that time, I moved across the US to a state where I didn’t know a single soul. I needed and wanted a change, so I wrote a list of states I would be willing to live in and with my eyes closed went up and down the list, picture me saying, “eeny, meeny, miny, moe” and landed on Illinois. So, I started packing my stuff and made the move by myself. I surprised not only myself, but almost everyone that I said that I would be making that move alone and without knowing anyone where I was going, thought I was nuts. I also never thought I would work in healthcare via the hospital setting and yet here I am directly working with patients. When I was younger, including in my early 20s, I couldn’t stand to be in a hospital for more than a few minutes. I would get sick to my stomach and have to quickly leave. Now I am working 12-16 hours a day, 5-6 days a week without any issues. It is amazing that when you set your mind to something how much you can accomplish. Knowing that I have been able to provide for and show my children how to be the best that they can be in life no matter what other people say or do to them. That alone gives me satisfaction, but also going forward with my own personal goals and working towards completing them, I know will give me great satisfaction. If I were to die tomorrow, I would not have any regrets about what I have done in my life. You can’t change your past; you can only change your present and your future. Sigelman, C. K., & Rider, E. A. (2017). Life-Span Human Development. Cengage Learning. Papadopoulos, I., Tilki, M., & Taylor, G. (1998). Transcultural care: A guide for health care professionals. Wiltshire, UK: Quay Books.

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