Abstinence assignment (1)

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Abstinence Assignment Terra R. Bailey University of South Florida SOW6931 Substance Use Disorders Dr. Lawental 10/15/2023
Letter To My Addiction to Gambling Dear Lottery, I have loved you every day since the day we were introduced to a $1,000 winning scratch off ticket. We have spent countless days feeding the lotto machines our money, time, and commitment to “winning big.” I cannot imagine life without you, but I have to say goodbye. In the beginning, I felt the excitement and adrenaline running through my veins when we won the first ticket. There was a hand full of times that I thought you were helping me when we won extra cash. However, we have had more time losing money and buying more tickets because we thought we would win on the next ticket. I have let you drain my savings account, devoted countless hours daily with you, and lowered my self-worth. I am quitting because I know the destructive path you are leading me to, and my children and I deserve better. Without you, I will learn how to save money to take family vacations or buy something for myself that I can keep instead of throwing it away. Lastly, I will move on without you and find other healthy coping mechanisms that will give me the same excitement that you once gave me. It has been a long road with you by my side, but I have the strength to move on. I am breaking free of our relationship that has caused financial struggles that would only get worse if I continued to see you. I know you will try to trick me into meeting you again. However, next time we face each other I will have stronger methods to stay away from your temptations and be happy without you in my life. Sincerely, Your favorite Ex-Customer Terra Bailey
Section I: Introduce Substance/Behavior In this assignment, I chose to abstain from scratch off lottery tickets. I chose this behavior because I do spend more money on purchasing lottery tickets than saving money. I wanted to use this opportunity to see how much money I have spent over the past several months and how much I can potentially save. My main motivation for change was my children. I want to be able to provide them with childhood memories that include family vacations, road trips or any other memorable experience. I realized that I do have a problem with lottery tickets but justified why I could continue buying scratch offs instead of figuring out why I am engaging in specific behaviors. This experience over the past 4 weeks gave me an overview of how it may feel struggling with an addiction to substances. I was able to recognize that I have a problem, how easy it is to slip back into old habits and explore feelings and emotions that I felt when I went to the casino. Section II Personal Reflection During this time, I realized how much this habit impacted my life. This habit was a part of my daily routine and consumed much of my thinking throughout the day. Because of this, I realized I was not present to my emotions that are normal to everyone daily. It reminded me that I want to be present and mindful in my life and that my gambling habits will not give me any peace and joy I want. I also learned that if I want to change my behavior, I must be open and willing to change. No one can change my behavior, but only if I want to change. Motivation is a mindset that helped me get through the days without unhealthy habits. For the final week of the abstinence exercise, I felt noticeably confident that I would be able to continue to resist spending money on lottery tickets after the abstinence exercise had ended. I felt proud of the progress I
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had made, and grateful for the support I had received from friends and family throughout my experience. Section III Discussion By the end of this assignment, I learned a lot about myself and how I deal with current stress. I never knew that I had a problem because I never saw it as a concern. Nevertheless, I was able to understand what it is like for something to be taken away from your daily life habits and how easy it is to revert into old behaviors. I was able to grasp the seriousness of how strong addiction is and how easily it can be tricked into thinking that I am not doing any harm to myself or others. Understanding the impact of my behavior change is one of the most important components in relapse and prevention. I struggle expressing emotions when I am struggling or when I have an anxiety attack, I learned several healthy habits to substitute for gambling that I plan to continue after this assignment. Lastly, I learned about relapse and prevention strategies to refrain from unhealthy habits. I did not realize that relapse is a process that begins before picking up a substance and before the actual act of purchasing lotto or going to the casino. It begins with the thought of wanting to engage in behavior when days go by that are stressful or frustrating. I was so used to masking my emotions that I assumed it was normal to continue my behavior. The process of prevention is the development of steps to take to remain abstinent and substituting old habits with new ones. The first step is to recognize that I do have a problem. Second, understanding why I engage in certain behaviors helps me understand why I am doing unhealthy habits. Third, I understand the importance of finding other ways to cope with stress and other life problems instead of gambling.
Weekly Journal logs (2x a week for 28 days) Week 1 Week 2 MON Day 1 from Abstaining from all lotto and scratch off tickets. I woke up this morning feeling motivated and excited to face this challenge and as a result, I am looking forward to saving money. I know it will be difficult, but I am ready for the challenge. MON TUE TUE Day 9 Today has been a crappy day. I was late for work, my son got in trouble at school, and my anxiety level is through the roof. I am extremely discontented and if I were not doing this assignment, I would be at the gas station buying lottery tickets. WED WED THU THU FRI Day 5 This morning I did not feel any urges to go on my phone and play lotto. I have not had any mental cravings to go to the gas station. I am preparing myself to expect myself to feel tempted. However, I will continue to stay positive. FRI Day 12 Today was a stressful day at work, and I have been frustrated with my oldest son. I am very tempted to go online and gamble to escape the mental and emotional frustration I am currently feeling. I called one of my close friends to talk with her and she helped lessen my craving and thoughts of wanting to gamble. SAT SAT SUN SUN
Week 3 Week 4 MON Day 15 MON Day 22 TUE This morning I woke up in a great mood. I felt very motivated and looked forward to the week and how things would continue over the last week coming up in a few days. I am proud of the progress I have made and will continue to make. TUE I had a good day today that started off calm when I woke up. My children did not give me a challenging time getting ready for school so that helped my overall mood. I have had a few thoughts and temptations about the lottery. However, I have been thinking about next week because it will be the last week for this assignment. WED WED THU Day 18 Today I felt temptation to stop by the gas station on my way home from work. I pulled into the parking lot and did not realize I was going there because it has been a routine for a while. THU FRI FRI SAT SAT SUN SUN Day 28 Today marks the 28 th day from staying away from all lotto tickets, scratch offs, and online casino.
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