ENG-105-RS-Commentary_PeerReviewWorksheet
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Middle Georgia State University *
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Course
105
Subject
English
Date
Nov 24, 2024
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docx
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ENG-105 Peer Review Worksheet: Commentary
Part of your responsibility as a student in this course is to provide quality feedback to your peers
that will help them to improve their writing skills. This worksheet will assist you in providing
that feedback. To highlight the text and type over the information in the boxes on this worksheet,
double-click
on the first word.
Name of the draft’s author:
Rick Shaffer
Name of the peer reviewer:
Emerson Lamansky
Reviewer
After reading through the draft one time, write a summary (3-5 sentences) of the paper that
includes
your assessment of how well the essay meets the assignment requirements as
specified in the syllabus and the rubric.
This commentry touches on the abuse of the ADHD medication Adderal on university campuses around
the United States.It gives background on the disorder of ADHD as well as the side effects of the
medication used to treat the disorder. The essay provides great insight into a number of reasons why
college students around the United States are causing an increase in Adderal consumption.
After a second, closer reading of the draft, answer each of the following questions. Positive
answers will give you specific elements of the draft to praise; negative answers will indicate
areas in need of improvement and revision. Please be sure to indicate at least three positive
aspects of the draft and at least three areas for improvement in reply to the questions at the
bottom of this worksheet.
Commentary Content and Ideas
How effectively does the thesis statement identify the main points that the writer would
like to make in this commentary?
The thesis is formatted in a the typical three main points that are then used as body paragraphs in
the essay. This is very effective as a reader can know what to expect.
How descriptive is the writer’s choice of a label to name the issue in question?
The writer chooses to refer to the topic as a trend which I feel is a good description of the issue as
the author provided evidence to show how it is continuing to grow.
How effectively does the writer frame an issue at the beginning of the essay?
The author touches on both what ADHD is and how the medication is used to treat it. I feel that
the intro paragraph gives great insight into the issue and frames the rest of the essay.
How effective is the writer’s analysis of the issue in terms of causes and consequences?
The author provides a number of reasons for the upwards trend in Adderal consumptions as well
as gives consequences of this trend.
How persuasively is evidence used to support assertions and enrich the essay?
The evidence is very persuasive and placed accordingly to the information that the author gives.
How effectively does the essay’s content support the thesis by using strategies
appropriate for commentaries, as outlined in chapter 10 of Writing with Purpose?
I feel that the essay's content is very efective at supporting the thesis. It has all been tied back
together in a way that is easy to follow.
Organization
How effectively does the introduction engage the reader while providing an overview of
the paper?
The introduction throws a lot of information at the reader and in doing so provides a great
overview of the paper. I would say that there could be some evidence to back up statements such
as "The typical medications that are prescribed to treat ADHD are some of the unhealthiest
medications available on the market today."
Please identify the writer’s thesis and quote it in the box below.
There is a rising trend of abusing amphetamine-based ADHD medications on college campuses
because of its ease of access, euphoric feeling, and lack of known risks associated with its use.
How effectively do the paragraphs develop the topic sentence and advance the essay’s
ideas?
I feel that the topic sentences could be more of a overview of the paragraph to come instead of
new information being thrown at the reader right off the bat. This is espeically the case in body
paragraph one.
How effectively does the conclusion provide a strong, satisfying ending, not a mere
summary of the essay?
I think the conclusion could be better done. It provides new information such as Adderall being a
Schedule 2 narcotic, as this is not referenced anywhere else in the essay. however the final
sentence is very powerful.
Format
How closely does the paper follow APA formatting style? Is it double-spaced in 12 pt.
Times New Roman font? Does it have 1" margins? Does it use headers (page numbers
using appropriate header function)? Does it have a proper heading (with student’s name,
date, course, and instructor’s name)?
Yes
No Add optional clarification here
Are all information, quotations, and borrowed ideas cited in parenthetical APA format?
Yes
No Add optional clarification here
Are all sources listed on the references page in APA format
?
Yes
No Add optional clarification here
Is the required minimum number of sources listed?
Yes
No
We need a minimum of five sources
Language Use and Style
Are the voice and tone of the essay effective in characterizing ideas and creating the
appropriate mood? If “No,” please provide examples of ineffective or inappropriate voice
and tone.
Yes
No Add optional clarification here
How effectively does the paper incorporate a variety of sentence structures that
strengthen the ideas, create vitality, and avoid choppiness in the writing?
Yes
No Add optional clarification here
How would you assess the writer’s diction (i.e., word choice)? Does the writer use active
verbs, concrete nouns, and precise words?
Yes
No Add optional clarification here
Grammar and Mechanics
Does the writer use proper grammar, punctuation, and spelling? If “No,” please provide
examples of errors in need of correction.
Yes
No Add optional clarification here
Is the writing clear and comprehensible throughout the draft? If “No,” please provide
examples in need of improvement.
Yes
No Add optional clarification here
Three things that I liked about your draft are:
1.
This is a very solid first draft with lots of good information. It was very infromative.
2.
The evidence provided was in an engaging way and was nicely organized into the flow of the
writing.
3.
Thesis statement was solid and provided great insight into what was expected to be wrote about.
Three things that could be improved are:
1.
We need a minimum of five sources so be careful to incorpate this new information as well as the
other evidence was.
2.
Topic sentences could give a more general overview of the upcoming paragraph.
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3.
Try to not repeat information in various body paragraphs. For example, keep the evidence that
adderall is misused by those without ADHD all in the same paragraph.