Couple's Interview Assignment Paper
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Capella University *
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5273
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Communications
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Feb 20, 2024
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Couple Interview
Shalandria K. Hawkins Capella University MFT 5273 – Couple and Marital Therapy Dr. Laura Dupiton January 28, 2024
"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed (Gen. 2:24-25 King James Version
). Before continuing, take a moment to sit back, close your eyes, relax your shoulders, exhale, and imagine yourself naked. Now imagine there is someone else present, also naked! The thoughts produced from the image of being naked, be it alone or in the presence of another, for some, may awaken feelings associated with shame or barrenness, being uncovered, unprotected, stripped, or bare. Conversely, some may experience feelings of guilt-free happiness, safety, excitement, and freedom. The thoughts and feelings produced by both images are indicative of marriage.
Marriage is one of the most unique bonds experienced in one's lifetime. Only in this covenant is an individual's capacity to be openly exposed, undisguised, stripped, vulnerable, naked and unashamed, immensely cultivated, stretched, and strengthened. For this assignment, I had the opportunity to interview a married couple on their journey to naked and unashamed. Their story, thus far, is inspiring. Terry and Diane Radcliff (names changed for confidentiality) have been married for three years. They met in high school and dated for a few years. After graduating, Terry went to the military, and Diane went to college. "Fate," as they say, brought them back together, and after a year of long-distance courtship that included lots of travel, out-to-
eat dates, and limitless conversations, they decided to marry. With great intention in those long conversations, the Radcliffs established the foundation for building their home and relationship. Constantly communicating, actively listening, staying committed, supporting and affirming one another, continuously studying and learning from and about each other, laughing often, and creating an environment conducive to growth and evolution, individually and collectively, were repeatedly mentioned throughout the interview. Whether speaking about their courtship, roles,
strengths, or relational challenges, the Radcliffs consistently circled back to the themes of fervent commitment, team/partnership, communication, support, and humor. The mature perspective and exuding passion exhibited by the Ratcliffs as they spoke of their relationship was not the only factor that drew my attention. The attentiveness, tenderness, affection, and playfulness displayed as they answered the interview questions is also noteworthy. After asking an interview question, it was as if I had excused myself from the room. The Ratcliffs were engulfed in back-and-forth banter, laughing, affirming, correcting, high-fiving, and patting each other on the shoulder. They gazed lovingly and inquisitively at one another as the other spoke, patiently waiting until the floor was courteously extended for their perspective to be shared. After observing their exchange, I concluded that this couple genuinely "likes" each other. They enjoy being in each other's company. The effortless display of mutual respect, active listening, and talking through differences of opinion visibly unfolded in their exchanges. They unpacked and shared the answers to each question as if they were juggling a delicate heirloom, ensuring they agreed on its placement before returning their attention to me. It was phenomenal to witness. Aside from healthy reoccurring themes and positive verbal and nonverbal communication, other intriguing aspects were discovered in this couple's interview. I found that the Ratcliff's household operates in a way contrary to societal norms. Although Terry is still relatively young, at age 30, he is retired from the military and is the couple's primary caregiver. More than 16 million men in the United States are acting in the role of family caregiver (Mott et al., 2019). Diane, 31, acquired her Master's degree last year, and is actively working in her field outside of the home. Terry looks after their three children: Faith, age 8 (from Terry's previous marriage), Junior, age 2, and DJ, who is nine months old. Despite Terry sometimes feeling
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pressure to conform to societal norms and find employment outside the home, Diane assures him they are doing what is best for their household now. She encourages him in his role as Father and Husband. Terry and Diane ensured I understood that "Terry is the provider/protector, and Diane ensures that their house is a home," regardless of their daily duties (Hawkins, 2024). They work as a team, always willing to adjust when needed.
The Ratcliffs have a robust support system of family and friends. This support is critical, allowing them to achieve the goal of intentionally scheduling family time, date nights, and adult-
only getaways. Terry and Diane have two other married couples with whom they consistently converse and travel. They plan adult-only getaways with numerous activities, some for fun and others to discuss family, marriage, and relationships. The purpose of this time is to check in and thoroughly devote undivided attention to realigning, restoring, rejuvenating, and replenishing their relationship. Solution-focused brief therapy (SFBT) comes to mind when considering a therapeutic approach for this couple. Solution-focused therapy is a future-oriented, strengths-based, brief therapeutic approach (Lebow, 2022). This approach is favored in light of the competence, resilience, and inner resources to solve problems already demonstrated by Terry and Diane. In counseling, utilizing this approach, focusing on the problem and a restricted set of behaviors is essential. Exploring, clarifying, and understanding the meanings attributed to those behaviors is also vital, as the meanings individuals attribute to behavior can limit the range of alternatives used in developing solutions. Utilizing the "Miracle Question," or a scaling question, helps identify the problem and reach a consensus about the solution. Terry, Diane, and I would collaboratively develop solutions that align with their desired future goals. Continuing to implement what works and doing something different when things are not working will
ultimately keep the Radcliff’s successfully moving along on the journey, continuously becoming naked and unashamed.
References:
King James Bible
. (2017). King James Bible Online
.
https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/
(Original work published 1769)
Lebow (2022). Clinical Handbook of Couple Therapy (6th ed.). Guilford Publications, Inc.. https://capella.vitalsource.com/books/9781462551453
Mott, J., Schmidt, B., & MacWilliams, B. (2019). Male caregivers: Shifting roles among family caregivers.
Clinical Journal of Oncology Nursing,
23
(1), E17-
E24.
https://doi.org/10.1188/19.CJON.E17-E24
Hawkins, S. (2024, January 23) Personal Interview [Couples Interview].
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