Feiyan Li dimensions of grief

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University of Houston *

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2314

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Sociology

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Apr 3, 2024

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Feiyan Li HDFS 2314 12/02/2023 Learning Extension Assignment HDFS 2314 Dimensions of Grief According to the dimensions of grief, one of the dimensions explains that grief is physical. When my friend’s wife passed away suddenly from a heart attack, the grief he felt was intensely physical. He felt hollow and empty inside. There was a pit in his stomach, as if a part of him had been ripped away. For many weeks he had trouble sleeping, often laying awake thinking about his wife. When he finally was able to fall asleep, he would have horrible nightmares. His body felt exhausted but his mind would not stop replaying memories. He lost his appetite entirely, forcing himself to eat just enough to get by. He lost around 40lbs within a very short span of time. The physical effects that the grief had on his body were unescapable. He wished that he had known just how physically draining grief is - it may have helped him be gentler with himself as he processed his loss. Another dimension shows that grief can change your behavior. After losing his wife, his normal patterns of behavior changed drastically. He withdrew from friends and family, not having the energy for social interaction. He rented a large suite in the Magnolia Hotel in Downtown Houston and secluded himself in that room for almost a month. He refused all requests from his family to see him and he remained there all alone. Small interactions or

conversations felt amplified. A misplaced item or minor inconvenience could send him deeper into his depression. He also became very absent-minded, unable to focus. He stopped doing any of the hobbies his wife and he had shared and avoided places that reminded him of her. He wished that he had understood that these behavioral changes are normal in grief. Knowing that may have kept him from being so hard on himself thinking there might have been something he could have done to prevent her demise. The next dimension that was very important in overcoming his grief was knowing that he can be happy again. In the early depths of grief after his wife died, the idea that he could ever feel happiness again seemed impossible and seemed like he would be disrespecting her if he dared to find happiness in anything again. The pain was so fresh and was all-consuming in those first months. Now, 5 years later, the grief has not fully gone away but it has changed and eased. He still misses her but now he remembers their happy times together more than the pain of losing her. It took a couple of years before he believed he could have a satisfying life again. He has since remarried and built a family and can find joy again in relationships and in the pleasures of life. He wishes he had been able to see then that this renewed happiness would one day be part of life again. His journey back to health and happiness was long but proved in due time to be possible.

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