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Victor Valley College *

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Psychology

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Jun 10, 2024

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Book Critique- Attached: The New Science 1 Book Critique- Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment Rashida L. Brown Victor Valley College Human Sexuality Professor Jose Luna 05/30/2023
Book Critique- Attached: The New Science 2 "Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment" is a book written by Amir Levine, M.D., and Rachel S.F. Heller, M.A. The book explores the science of adult attachment and how it affects our romantic relationships. The authors present a comprehensive understanding of adult attachment theory, which is grounded in decades of research and observation. The book is divided into three parts: understanding attachment theory, attachment styles, and attachment in relationships. In the first part, the authors thoroughly explain attachment theory, including its history and key concepts. They explain how attachment styles develop in childhood and how they can impact adult romantic relationships. The book’s second part explores deeper into the three attachment styles: anxious, avoidant, and secure. The authors provide real-life examples to help readers identify their attachment style and understand how it may be affecting their relationships. The book’s final part focuses on how attachment styles play out in adult romantic relationships, including communication patterns, conflict resolution, and intimacy. According to the book, there are several theories as to why people are meant to be dependent on one another when it comes to romantic partners. Attachment Theory: The authors explain that attachment theory posits that humans are inherently social creatures who require attachment bonds with others to thrive. They suggest that the need for attachment is rooted in evolution, as it was beneficial for our ancestors to form close relationships for survival (p. 4). Social Exchange Theory: Levine and Heller also discuss social exchange theory, which proposes that people seek out relationships that are mutually beneficial. They suggest that humans are wired to form relationships that provide emotional and practical support and that this helps us achieve our goals (p. 16).
Book Critique- Attached: The New Science 3 Interdependence Theory: The authors mention interdependence theory, which suggests that people are motivated to form close relationships because they offer opportunities for personal growth and fulfillment. They explain that people often seek out relationships that provide a sense of shared identity and purpose (p. 18). Self-Expansion Theory: Levine and Heller also discuss self-expansion theory, They suggest that relationships provide a means for individuals to expand their sense of self and explore new aspects of their identity (p. 19). Overall, the authors suggest that humans are naturally drawn to relationships that offer emotional support, practical benefits, personal growth, and a sense of shared identity and purpose. These theories help explain why people are meant to be dependent on one another when it comes to romantic partners. As an anxious-avoidant attachment style, sometimes referred to as a "fearful-avoidant" style, I am characterized by a combination of anxious and avoidant attachment behaviors. Individuals with this attachment style may crave intimacy and connection but also fear rejection and feel uncomfortable with vulnerability. As a result, I find myself oscillating between seeking closeness and pushing my partners away. According to the book, I have an anxious attachment style and tend to seek closeness and reassurance from my partners. I often worry about his availability and fear of being rejected or abandoned. I am aware that this is unhealthy, but my parents were the same way. Avoidant individuals, as mentioned earlier, value their independence highly and may be uncomfortable with too much closeness or intimacy. They often suppress their emotions and may become emotionally distant or detached in relationships.
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Book Critique- Attached: The New Science 4 The anxious-avoidant trap arises when these two attachment styles come together in a relationship. The anxious partner's need for closeness and reassurance triggers the avoidant partner's discomfort with intimacy, causing them to withdraw emotionally or physically. This withdrawal further intensifies the anxiety and insecurity of the anxious partner, creating a cycle of pursuing and distancing behaviors. Understanding the anxious-avoidant trap is useful and important for several reasons: 1. Increased self-awareness: Recognizing your own attachment style and understanding how it influences your behaviors and responses in relationships can enhance self-awareness. This awareness can help you navigate relationship challenges more effectively and make informed decisions about your needs and desires. 2. Relationship dynamics: Being aware of the anxious-avoidant trap can shed light on the dynamics within a relationship. It helps partners understand why conflicts or patterns of interaction may be recurring and provides an opportunity to break free from unhealthy cycles. 3. Communication and empathy: Knowing about attachment styles can foster better communication and empathy between partners. It allows individuals to have a more compassionate understanding of each other's needs, fears, and reactions, promoting healthier and more secure attachments. 4. Compatibility and relationship choices: Understanding attachment styles can help individuals make more informed choices when entering new relationships. Recognizing the potential challenges and dynamics that may arise between different attachment styles
Book Critique- Attached: The New Science 5 can help individuals assess compatibility and make conscious decisions about the type of relationship they want to pursue.
Book Critique- Attached: The New Science 6 References Levine, Amir, and Rachel Heller. Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment. TarcherPerigee, 2010.
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