Interview Insights: Divorced, Remarried Couple with Kids

1 INTERVIEW of DIVORCED and REMARRIED COUPLE with KIDS GWENDOLYN GREY-BURROUGHS Bachelor of Religion, Liberty University CCUO 301: Christian Counseling for Marriage and Family (D02) Professor: J. Vess 11/20/2023

2 INTERVIEW of DIVORCED and REMARRIED COUPLE with KIDS The problems associated with many families of today’s society are dealing with families of mixed varieties, baggage from other relationships, kids of divorce, and inability to communicate. Properly functioning families regardless of their composition need to be able to communicate, show validation of mates, and have effective parenting with stability in all areas of the families’ dynamic structure. The emotional baggage and finical needs can weigh heavily on any relationship and lead to miscommunication that may lead to divorce. In this study interview today, we will be speaking with a couple that has been divorced, remarried different partners, and both sides have children plus various financial needs. The couple will be individually interviewed, then interviewed together for the aspects of compounding information based on the following questioned areas. Fears, stability, communication, parenting, financial needs, stability, and coping techniques of divers parting in new plus previous marriages. I would like to introduce our interview couple Larry and Danielle Mozell, the names have been changed to protect confidentially, but the interview is based on actual events plus facts of the real situation. Larry is a 72 year old retried bridge contractor developer, divorced times1, re- married has six adult kids, and is supporting his family by retirement benefits. Danielle is 50 years old, divorced times 3, widowed times 1, 1 child in school in the home, 3 grown kids, is a business owner of recently started, in graduate school, and has mental health issues history. The couple both are believers in Christ, she is active in church while he is not, and she has voiced concerns of their inability to communicate plus feels her spouse is very unsupportive of her dreams.

3 Informed Consent of Release of Information and Consent to Record Interview Conversation Via Audio. The couple has given written and verbal consents for the Q&A interviews to be released to the course of CCUO 301 professor J. Vess at Liberty University online as part of a school assignment. In the efforts to protect the interviewer of this session of Q&A I the interviewer Gwendolyn Grey-Burroughs have clearly informed the couple Larry Mozel and Danielle Mozel that this interview will be recorded only with audio, and the transcript released to the professor J. Vess at liberty University as a part of my class assignment in Marriage Counseling CCUO 301 section D. At no time will this session be considered a counseling session, published for gain, and not to be reproduced in any form. I am a student and not a licensed counselor of any representation. Mr. Lary Mozel, do I Gwendolyn Grey-Burroughs have your conaent to audio record this interview and release its transcript? Mr. Larry Mozel replied” yes, I give my consent.” Mrs. Danielle Mozel, do I Gwendolyn Grey-Burroughs have your consent to audio record this interview and release its transcript? Mrs. Danielle Mozel replied” yes, I give my consent.”

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4 INTERVIEW of DIVORCED and REMARRIED COUPLE with KIDS The interview with Mr. Mozel alone consisted of questions pertaining to his prior divorce and new remarriage. During the interview he was asked about if any parts of his actions lead to his divorce, what he learned from the divorce, is he communication with between the new wife, himself, and the previous family? Mr. Mozel spoke briefly about the fact that his ability to trust has made it difficult to express himself overall in both relationships. He feels that his new wife will leave him over the fact that their finical situation is not the best, and he is concerned about the fact that his family is not open to accepting his wife. Mr. Mozel express feelings of insecurity and validation from both sides of the families. I asked Mr. Mozel if he had ever tried seeking services or counseling at his parish Chaplin and he stated no. His reply has to deal with the fact that he does not like being judged by others and he feels this would make him less than in their eyes. I talked with Mr. Mozel and offered him biblical information and books that might help him with the problem. The fist scripture dealing with 1 communication in marriage, 2 asking for guidance from others, 3 and a book by Billy Graham on dealing with the obstacles of a marriage. 4 “Marriage and Domestic Partnership - Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy." 11 Jul. 2009, INTERVIEW of DIVORCED and REMARRIED 1 2 3 4

5 COUPLE with KIDS The interview with Mrs. Mozel was surprisingly like her spouse. During the questioning she was asked about her feelings of acceptance from his family, how is communication on both sides, what are her fears, and if there are concerns about the stability of this marriage? Mrs. Mozel voices concerns about not being accepted, she feels her spouse does not validate her concerns, and she is worried about their financial state. She fears divorcing because they seem to be unable to communicate and is not able to voice her feelings for concerns of arguments. She is adamant about seeking counseling, but her spouse refuses for the aspects of appearance. Mrs. Mozel has sought out guidance from their local parish but has not been able to get her husband to attend. She feels as if he is more concerned with their finances, and his appearance to others than saving the marriage. I offered her some informational books on marriage (Hays & Aranda, 2016),and a article on (Lines, 2006) (Lines, 2006) dealing with the aspects of counseling and her mental issues. Mrs. Mozel future voices more concern over her mental health issues and how to deal with the fact that her own son is lacking guidance as her spouse refuses to intervene in the discipline of him. INTERVIEW of DIVORCED and REMARRIED

6 COUPLE with KIDS The interview conducted with the couple tighter went very differently. During this last part of the interview the couple was very open with each other and spoke of their concerns about validating each other. They are concerned about ways to work out communicating, learning skills need to balance the marriage, and appropriate way to voice concerns without arguing. The couple has decided to commit to seek counseling and ways to remove the areas of concern of divorcing. The primary cause of breakdown in the couple’s relationship here is the process of allowing clarity to be given in what is spoken. In questioning them about parenting their views are very different. She believes he should be active in this process. He dismisses it for fear of optional outcome from the child’s father. In asking both how the interactions with both sets of kids were doing the answer resulted in a display of sever emotions from the wife. She speaks of how his children do not even acknowledge her as his spouse and want nothing to do with her nor her children. She states that they are called those people by the ex-spouse and his children. He made no comments on how this makes him feel nor on how to find a solution.

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7 REFLECTIVE The overall interview conducted had a lot of moving points and concerns voiced by both people. In general, both have a concern of communicating with each other as well as their other family members. The implementation that both spouses need to learn how to effectively communicate with each other as well as others involved is the general theme for this study. The theme of miscommunication effects over (Mgr. Athenagoras Peckstadt, n.d.) 65%according to sacks and sacks law firm. It is very clear that both sides are very unsure of decision making and blame the other for its downfalls. It appears that a family meeting is needed with both sides to determine more about this situation. The presence of God does not appear to be the key that binds them, but it is apparent that fear being alone. Both parties seem to be just merely walking around the subject of focusing on the good in the marriage to find solutions to fix the marriage. While she needs attention, he needs more security plus support from her in the decisions he does try to enforce. Yet seemingly neither one is looking at the psychological effects all of this is having on the minor child. It is impossible for growth here because it seems that neither person is making themselves emotionally available to the other. The fears of rejection and approval are outweighing their ability to function in all elements of this marriage. She is prone to digital communication while he is prone to silence with being withdrawn. I have suggested a meeting with them and their pastor to help them. I digentily noted to them that I can not give any advice for I am not a counselor, but I recommend finding someone to talk to plus prayer daily together.

8 BIBLOGRAPHY Eagan, C. (n.d.). Attachment and Divorce: Family Consequences . Retrieved 11 23, 2023, from Rochester Institute of Technology: http://www.personalityresearch.org/papers/eagan.html Jesus and the Samaritan Woman / A Samaritan Woman Approaches:1 . (n.d.). Retrieved 11 23, 2023, from Christiancourier.com: http://www.christiancourier.com/articles/282-jesus-and-the- samaritan-woman Landucci, N. (2008). The Impact of Divorce'on Children: What School Counselors Need to Know . Retrieved 11 23, 2023, from http://www2.uwstout.edu/content/lib/thesis/2009/2009landuccin.pdf Marriage and Domestic Partnership . (n.d.). Retrieved 11 23, 2023, from https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/marriage/#FemApp Mental Health Counselors and Marriage and Family Therapists - Summary . (n.d.). Retrieved 11 23, 2023, from U.S. Department of Labor: Bureau of Labor Statistics: http://www.bls.gov/ooh/community- and-social-service/mental-health-counselors-and-marriage-and-family-therapists.htm Mgr. Athenagoras Peckstadt, B. o. (n.d.). Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage in the Orthodox Church: Economia and Pastoral Guidance . Retrieved 11 23, 2023, from The Orthodox research Institute: http://www.orthodoxresearchinstitute.org/articles/liturgics/athenagoras_remarriage.htm Psychological and Emotional Aspects of Divorce . (n.d.). Retrieved 11 23, 2023, from http://www.mediate.com/articles/psych.cfm "Deuteronomy 24:1-4 - BibleGateway.com." https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/? search=Deuteronomy%2024%3A1-4&version=NIV . "What Does the Bible Say About Communication In Marriage? - OpenBible.info." https://www.openbible.info/topics/communication_in_marriage . "59 Bible Verses about Guidance, Receiving God's - Online Bible." https://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Guidance,-Receiving-God~s . 5 Pieces of Marriage Advice from Billy and Ruth Graham https://www.amazon.com/Remarried-Children-Successfully-Blending-Extending/dp/0553382004 . "Reading: Divorce and Remarriage – Introductory Sociology."

9 "Marriage and Domestic Partnership - Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy." 11 Jul. 2009, https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/marriage/ . "The Family: A Christian Perspective on the Contemporary Home, 5th .... " https://www.christianbook.com/family-christian-perspective-contemporary-5th-edition/jack-balswick/ 9781540963000/pd/963005 . "Making stepfamilies work - American Psychological Association (APA)." 23 Aug. 2019, https://www.apa.org/topics/families/stepfamily ."Divorce, Remarriage & the Reconstructed Family: Definition & Related .... " "Re-Marriages | Psychology Today." 05 Apr. 2020, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/so-happy- together/202004/re-marriages .

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10 CONSENT FORM Informed Consent of Release of Information and Consent to Record Interview Conversation Via Audio. The couple has given written and verbal consents for the Q&A interviews to be released to the course of CCUO 301 professor J. Vess at Liberty University online as part of a school assignment. In the efforts to protect the interviewer of this session of Q&A I the interviewer Gwendolyn Grey-Burroughs have clearly informed the couple Larry Mozel and Danielle Mozel that this interview will be recorded only with audio, and the transcript released to the professor J. Vess at liberty University as a part of my class assignment in Marriage Counseling CCUO 301 section D. At no time will this session be considered a counseling session, published for gain, and not to be reproduced in any form. I am a student and not a licensed counselor of any representation. Mr. Lary Mozel, do I Gwendolyn Grey-Burroughs have your consent to audio record this interview and release its transcript? Mr. Larry Mozel replied” yes, I give my consent.” Mrs. Danielle Mozel, do I Gwendolyn Grey-Burroughs have your consent to audio record this interview and release its transcript? Mrs. Danielle Mozel replied” yes, I give my consent.”

11 Appendix A Question and Answers of interview with L. Mozel Informed Consent of Release of Information and Consent to Record Interview Conversation Via Audio. The couple has given written and verbal consents for the Q&A interviews to be released to the course of CCUO 301 professor J. Vess at Liberty University online as part of a school assignment. In the efforts to protect the interviewer of this session of Q&A I the interviewer Gwendolyn Grey-Burroughs have clearly informed the couple Larry Mozel and Danielle Mozel that this interview will be recorded only with audio, and the transcript released to the professor J. Vess at liberty University as a part of my class assignment in Marriage Counseling CCUO 301 section D. At no time will this session be considered a counseling session, published for gain, and not to be reproduced in any form. I am a student and not a licensed counselor of any representation. Mr. Lary Mozel, do I Gwendolyn Grey-Burroughs have your consent to audio record this interview and release its transcript? Mr. Larry Mozel replied” yes, I give my consent.”

12 Question and Responses of Mr. Mozel 1.) What did you learn from the previous marriage, and is it having effects on this one? “I learned not to be so trusting, and to stick by my decisions while looking at things that will be beneficial for the future.” “I feel my lack of trust has changed since I remarried, I trust my wife, but I see some things that are similar to my ex-wife.” 2.) What are your fears if any, about this marriage? “I fear we will divorce because I can not provide for them properly, and I can not afford any more debt “.” My wife wants to go to pastor and talk, but I don’t like airing my laundry to the public”. 3.) How is the communication between you and both spouses? “We talk but I think they both are hard of listening.” “My ex doesn’t accept my wife, and my wife has tried to build a relationship with her and my kids”. “This has caused me a lot of problems in trying to make everyone happy”.

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13 INTERVIEW of DIVORCED and REMARRIED COUPLE with KIDS Appendix B Question and Answers of interview with D. Mozel Informed Consent of Release of Information and Consent to Record Interview Conversation Via Audio. The couple has given written and verbal consents for the Q&A interviews to be released to the course of CCUO 301 professor J. Vess at Liberty University online as part of a school assignment. In the efforts to protect the interviewer of this session of Q&A I the interviewer Gwendolyn Grey-Burroughs have clearly informed the couple Larry Mozel and Danielle Mozel that this interview will be recorded only with audio, and the transcript released to the professor J. Vess at liberty University as a part of my class assignment in Marriage Counseling CCUO 301 section D. At no time will this session be considered a counseling session, published for gain, and not to be reproduced in any form. I am a student and not a licensed counselor of any representation. Mrs. Danielle Mozel, do I Gwendolyn Grey-Burroughs have your consent to audio record this interview and release its transcript? Mrs. Danielle Mozel replied” yes, I give my consent.”

14 Question and Responses of Mrs. Mozel 1.) What are your fears if any in this marriage? “I fear divorce for lately we can no talk without arguing, He dose not make me feel secure, and I have to make all the decisions about my child myself.” 2.) How is this marriage different from your previous marriage? “At this point it is not we don’t talk”. He is only concerned about the finances and will not allow me to have a say.” That is the something my ex-husband done when he lost interest in the marriage.” 3.) What is the relationship like between you, your spouse, and his children? “I do not have a relationship with them as they have refused to accept me as a part of their family” I tried talking with Larry about this, but he just changes the subject each time I do” “We use to be able to talk but now he just says its all in my head, and that I just go from one thing to the next.” “So, I just stopped bringing it up”.

15 Appendix C Question and Answer interview of Couple Larry & Danielle Mozel 1.) What problems, if any, did either of you feel is luggage from the previous marriage? Mr. Mozel “Finically instability and trust issues” Mrs. Mozel “Health issues and the fact that I am still raising a child plus need a lot of security I feel.” 2.) What do you each think is the main area of concern in this marriage? Mr. Mozel:” Financial I feel unable to provide for them”. Mrs. Mozel:” The fact that we can’t talk to each other without it turning into a fight”. 3.) What are your thoughts on the discipling of children on both sides? Mr. Mozel: “I leave it in her hands as I am not the father”. Mrs. Mozel: “I believe in discipline, but if I am not there it’s hard to punish a child hour latter”. 4.) How do you show the other love in this marriage? Mr. Mozel:” I teel her daily how much I love her.” Mrs. Mozel : “ I tend to his needs and make it a point to show him I love him by little gestures and notes I leave around the house”.

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16

INTERVIEW of Couple CCUO 301 PART 1

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