BBH119_L08_Strengthening_My_Relationships_Worksheet
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Pennsylvania State University *
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Communications
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Apr 3, 2024
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BBH 119: Strong Relationship Worksheet
1
Strong Relationship Worksheet
Directions
Successful healthy relationships are built on trust, respect, and communication. This
enables each individual to retain his or her own identity and foster personal growth rather than smother it. With this in mind, think about one relationship that is important to you and needs improvement. Reflect back on the relationship health self-assessment to determine how you would strengthen your relationship with this individual. Write down this relationship in Step 1.
Step 1: Assess your stage of behavior change.
My relationship with my aunt Maribel is important to me and needs improvement. Please choose one of the following statements that best describes your readiness to
improve this relationship:
Precontemplation:
I do not intend to improve this relationship in the next six months.
Contemplation:
I might improve this relationship in the next six months.
Preparation:
I am prepared to improve this relationship in the next month.
Action:
I have been improving this relationship for less than six months.
Maintenance:
I have been improving this relationship for more than six months.
Step 2: Assess your communication skills.
It is important to know how to communicate effectively with others. Think about the communication skills discussed in this lesson and in the textbook. List the skills that you feel you have mastered in your own life. Then list one area in particular that you would like to improve.
Mastered: putting myself in someone else’s shoes, having more empathy for others, being able to address conflict more maturely Needs improvement: not being so cold towards others, texting when friends text me, being more extroverted around my friends.
Step 3: Get feedback on your communication style.
Find someone close to you whom you trust and with whom you can have an open discussion. Ask that person about your communication skills – that is, what are your strengths and what might need improvement. Try not to become offended if the person suggests areas for improvement, honest feedback is the hallmark of a true friend.
What did the person say? I decided to talk to my friend Liam about this because we have been friends for 8 years and he knows me better than any of my other friends. He said that my communication style is cold at best, that since he has Adapted from Pearson Education Inc.
Used with permission from Pearson Education Inc.
BBH 119: Strong Relationship Worksheet
2
known me for a long time, he knows that that’s who I am and doesn’t get offended or sees this as a problem anymore, he said that sometimes I sound like I don’t want to talk or bored. He did mention that when we talk about something that I find interesting I’m all in during the conversation, but I need to improve my “cold” communication style because people who don’t know me might think negatively about me. How do you feel about it? I feel good about what he said, I did recognize in the past that I have these issues and people have always told me that I have a cold personality and communication style that I need to improve.
Step 4: Improve your listening.
Listening is a major component of communication. Consider the good listening skills
discussed in this lesson. Which techniques can you try to become a better listener? Provide examples of how you will apply these skills in your chosen relationship.
Listening techniques you can try: Giving my full attention to the other person, try to not interrupt them with questions, be patient, about judgment of the other person.
Examples: I would try to practice giving my full attention when someone is talking to me, to be honest, its really difficult for me to pay attention to someone or something for a long period of time, I get bored really quickly and my mind starts wandering around other topics that are not related to the conversation at all. I feel that practice can make this distraction go away.
Step 5: Put yourself in someone else’s shoes.
Another way to improve a relationship is to try to see things through the other person’s eyes. Take a moment to think about your chosen relationship and write down key factors in that person’s life and situation. Answer the following questions:
Who are the important people in his or her life and why?
Her son John (my cousin)
Her mother (my grandmother)
Sisters
Nieces and nephews
o
I know these are one of the most important people in my aunts life that
helped her go through one of the most painful moments in our family. What other people is he or she having problems with and why?
Her husband, who doesn’t understand how she felt about the loss of a loved one.
The people that she rents her basement who recently broke something in the
house that is going to cost a lot of money.
What are his or her current stressors?
Adapted from Pearson Education Inc.
Used with permission from Pearson Education Inc.
BBH 119: Strong Relationship Worksheet
3
My aunt’s current stressor is her husband’s brother who lives in her house, and she doesn’t feel comfortable with that.
Money is also a big stressor in her life.
Her son who is currently going through. What is he or she looking forward to or worried about?
My aunt is looking forward to getting her driver’s license this year and going on vacation with the family. Step 6: Write a note.
Imagine that you are writing a note to the person with whom you want to improve your relationship. What would you say? Write it down.
Text of the note: I would like to say to my aunt that no matter what she is going through I would always be there for her and even though I might sound
uninterested or cold, I would try my best to improve my communication for her because I miss our relationship before everything fell apart in the family.
Step 7: Determine the next step.
Given your current stage of behavior change, what will be your next step in building
the relationship you want to improve?
Precontemplation or contemplation stages:
What would be the benefit of improving your relationship? What is your first step going to be?
I’m going to try to reach out to her and talk to her and try to cheer her up and try to communicate the way we did before.
Preparation or action stages:
Write down your SMART goal.
Specific: initiating conversations with my aunt
Measurable: 2 conversations per week for now
Achievable: This is achievable in a 2-month period to improve the relationship
between us
Relevant: this is relevant because I care about my aunt and our relationship is one of the most important to me
Time-bound: this goal is achievable in a 2-month period.
Maintenance stage: Summarize the strategy you have been using to strengthen your relationship. Describe your progress to date in strengthening your relationship.
I have been practicing my listening skills and communication skills as well to become better and improve my relationship with my aunt.
I have been thinking about spending time with her and have some heart-to-
heart about everything since we couldn’t have a proper conversation before
I will put myself in her shoes and understand her more. Adapted from Pearson Education Inc.
Used with permission from Pearson Education Inc.
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