SPCH277_Week_1

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Jefferson State Community College *

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COMM 254

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Communications

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Feb 20, 2024

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1 Week 1 CCC Template: Part 1 – Selecting a Communication Goal Amanda Harris Chamberlain University Comm 227 Professor McClean January 10, 2024
2 Part 1 1A “I Can’t” List Challenge 1: I cannot communicate my feelings effectively. Description: Expressing my feelings effectively has been a personal struggle rooted in a few key factors. One significant challenge is a limited understanding of my emotions, making it difficult to convey them to others accurately. Past experiences, particularly negative ones, have instilled a fear of vulnerability, hindering my openness about feelings. Additionally, a potential limitation in my communication skills and emotional vocabulary adds to the difficulty. Overcoming these challenges requires self-reflection, dynamic education, and possibly seeking guidance to enhance my ability to express emotions more effectively. Example: An example of my difficulty in expressing feelings occurred recently when I faced a challenging situation at work. Despite feeling a mix of frustration, disappointment, and a bit of anxiety, I found it difficult to articulate these emotions to my colleagues or even to myself. Instead, I kept these feelings to myself, avoiding discussing the issue. Reflecting on this, I realized that my struggle to identify and communicate these emotions stemmed from a lack of emotional awareness and an underlying fear of being vulnerable. This experience highlighted the need to work on understanding and expressing my feelings more openly, as keeping them internalized only intensified the emotional burden. Challenge 2: I cannot say “no” to my children. Description: Saying no to my toddlers is a challenge rooted in my desire to maintain a harmonious environment and avoid upsetting them. The fear of sparking tantrums or being perceived as too strict by societal standards often leads me to choose the path of least resistance and say yes, even when setting boundaries is necessary for their development. Balancing
3 discipline with a nurturing environment is an ongoing struggle influenced by the natural instinct to provide and societal expectations. Recognizing the importance of saying no to my toddlers' well-being is crucial in navigating this challenge. Example: An example of my difficulty in saying no to my toddlers recently occurred when they insisted on having ice cream before dinner. Despite knowing the importance of maintaining a balanced diet, I found it challenging to deny their request. The fear of upsetting them and anticipating potential tantrums or disappointed expressions led me to give in and allow the treat. In this situation, my reluctance to say no stemmed from a desire to avoid conflict and ensure a positive atmosphere. However, reflecting on this, I realized the importance of setting boundaries for their health and well-being, highlighting the ongoing challenge of balancing their desires with the necessity of saying no when needed. Challenge 3: I cannot effectively listen to others if I am right. Description: Feeling strongly that I am right impedes my ability to listen to others effectively. The certainty in my perspective often leads me to mentally prepare counterarguments instead of fully understanding the other person's viewpoint. This habit results in a lack of patience during conversations, where I may interrupt or finish sentences prematurely. Acknowledging this tendency is crucial for improving my listening skills and fostering more meaningful communication, even when I strongly believe in the validity of my perspective. Example: In a recent team meeting, a colleague presented an alternative approach to a project. Despite their well-thought-out points, my focus on defending my initial proposal could have improved my ability to listen actively. Instead of considering their perspective, I found myself mentally preparing counterarguments. This resulted in impatience and occasional interruptions. Reflecting on this, I realized the need to be more open to different viewpoints,
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4 acknowledging that genuine listening involves receptivity, even when I strongly believe in my ideas. Challenge 4: I cannot tell my significant other my desires. Description: Expressing my desires to my husband has proven challenging due to various factors. One significant hurdle is a fear of vulnerability and potential judgment. Sharing personal desires can make me feel exposed and uncertain about how they might be received. There's an underlying concern that expressing my needs or wants could lead to discomfort or misunderstanding. Additionally, I often grapple with a desire to prioritize harmony in our relationship, which sometimes leads me to downplay my desires to avoid any potential conflict. Overcoming this challenge involves developing a sense of comfort with vulnerability and building the confidence to communicate openly, fostering a deeper understanding and connection in our relationship. Example: An example of my difficulty expressing desires to my husband occurred when I hesitated to communicate my preference for more quality time together. Although I longed for additional moments of connection, I hesitated to express this need. The fear of being perceived as needy or disrupting the balance in our routine held me back. Instead of openly sharing my desire for increased quality time, I remained silent, hoping he would intuitively understand. This instance reflected my struggle to overcome the fear of vulnerability and assertively communicate my desires, showcasing the ongoing challenge of balancing personal needs with the desire to maintain harmony in our relationship. Challenge 5: I cannot be assertive at work. Description: Being assertive at work poses a challenge due to a fear of being perceived as confrontational. This concern sometimes leads me to downplay my opinions or hesitate to
5 express dissenting views to maintain positive relationships. The desire to avoid conflict and prioritize harmony in the workplace further hinders my ability to communicate my ideas or preferences assertively. Overcoming this challenge requires building confidence in expressing my views while recognizing the importance of assertiveness in fostering effective collaboration. Example: An example of my struggle with assertiveness in the operating room became evident during a procedure where I noticed a potential breach in sterility protocols. Despite recognizing the importance of addressing the issue, I hesitated to communicate my concerns to the team assertively. The fear of being perceived as overly critical or disrupting the operation flow held me back. Instead of confidently raising the matter, I hesitated and eventually chose not to speak up. This instance highlighted how my reluctance to be assertive in a critical environment like the operating room could compromise patient safety and underscored the need to overcome this challenge to ensure effective communication and adherence to protocols. Challenge 6: I cannot set boundaries with friends. Description: Setting boundaries with friends has been challenging due to my fear of altering or straining relationships. The desire to maintain harmony often leads me to compromise my needs, fearing disappointment or discomfort for my friends. I avoid assertively communicating boundaries, opting to go along with plans that may not align with my preferences. This tendency has left me feeling overwhelmed, highlighting the importance of balancing maintaining connections and safeguarding personal limits. Example: A recent example of my struggle to set boundaries with friends occurred when I consistently rearranged my schedule to accommodate their last-minute plans. Despite feeling overwhelmed and needing personal time, I hesitated to communicate my need for advance notice assertively. The fear of disappointing or inconveniencing my friends prevailed, and I
6 compromised my own time and well-being. This instance highlighted how my reluctance to set boundaries affected my mental health, underscoring the importance of overcoming this challenge to maintain healthier and more balanced relationships. 1B “I Won’t” List Challenge # 5: I will not be assertive at work. Explanation: I struggle with assertiveness at work, mainly due to a fear of conflict and the desire to maintain positive relationships with colleagues. The apprehension of being perceived as overly critical or disrupting workplace harmony often leads me to avoid assertively expressing dissenting views or concerns. This tendency to prioritize avoiding conflict over assertive communication hinders my ability to contribute fully to discussions or challenge ideas, impacting my professional growth and the effectiveness of collaborative efforts in the workplace. Therefore, I likely will never be assertive at work. Challenge # 2: I will not say “no” to my children. Explanation: I find it challenging to say no to my toddlers in non-safety-related situations because I often want to prioritize their happiness and avoid unnecessary conflict. There's a natural inclination to create a positive and joyful environment for them, which sometimes leads me to say yes to their requests, even if it means compromising on certain boundaries. Striking a balance between fostering their happiness and setting appropriate limits remains an ongoing challenge for me as a parent. 1C “I Don’t Know” List Challenge # 1: I do not know how to communicate my feelings effectively.
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7 Description: Communicating my feelings effectively remains elusive as I struggle to grasp the concept of translating intricate emotions into words that resonate with others. The ability to articulate the depth of my feelings and convey them in a manner that fosters understanding appears to be a skill I am yet to fully comprehend. Challenge # 3: I do not know how to effectively listen to others if I feel that I am right. Description: Effectively listening to others, especially when I feel strongly that I am right, is a concept that challenges me. The ability to grasp the notion of patience, humility, and a genuine openness to alternative viewpoints while still holding my convictions is an intricate balance that I am in the process of comprehending. Challenge # 4: I do not know how to tell my significant other my desires. Description: Expressing my desires to my husband is hindered by a lack of understanding of how to navigate vulnerability without fearing judgment. The concept of openly communicating my needs while maintaining a positive dynamic requires a level of comprehension that I am still working to develop. Challenge # 6: I do not know how to set boundaries with friends. Description: Setting boundaries with friends poses a challenge as I grapple with balancing my needs without jeopardizing relationships. The intricate understanding of when to assert limits and how to communicate them assertively without causing discomfort or straining connections remains a concept I need help to grasp. 1D Issue Selection In selecting my project focus among the various communication challenges I face, I went through an elimination process to identify the one that most immediately impacts my personal
8 growth and relationships. While grappling with effectively communicating feelings, setting boundaries with friends, and expressing desires to my husband are all significant challenges, I eliminated them as project focuses based on their current impact on my daily life. Ultimately, I settled on the challenge of setting boundaries with friends. This decision arose from recognizing that the struggle to assert personal limits has a pervasive influence on my overall well-being, affecting my friendships and my ability to prioritize self-care. By focusing on this specific challenge, I aim to enhance my assertiveness skills and strike a healthier balance in my relationships, fostering a more authentic connection with myself and others. 1E Project Statement For my project goal, I have selected “I do not know how to set boundaries with friends.” Part 2 Title: How To Set Boundaries With Friends And When To Do It Summary: The exploration of boundary-setting in friendships underscores these limits' pivotal role in fostering healthy relationships. Practical guidance is provided for individuals grappling with establishing clear and firm boundaries. Strategies such as using precise and assertive language and pre-planning are emphasized. The article delves into discerning signs indicating the necessity for boundaries. It enumerates the advantageous outcomes, including pattern disruption, resentment prevention, self-care promotion, confidence augmentation, and improved overall friendship dynamics. Various boundary types encompass time, material, physical, emotional, intellectual, and sexual boundaries, each elucidated with illustrative examples. For those encountering difficulties in setting boundaries, the article recommends
9 seeking professional assistance, mainly through online therapy, citing its efficacy in addressing diverse mental health concerns. In summary, the discourse serves as a comprehensive guide, furnishing insights and strategies to aid individuals in navigating the nuanced terrain of boundary-setting within their friendships (BetterHelp, 2023). Insight: Setting boundaries in friendships is a nuanced yet essential practice that enhances personal well-being and enriches the quality of relationships. This involves asserting one's needs and values and fostering trust and understanding. Beyond the practical tips, boundary-setting contributes to personal growth and the longevity of authentic and supportive friendships (Oswald, 2023).
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10 References BetterHelp. (2023). How To Set Boundaries With Friends And When To Do It. BetterHelp. Retrieved from: https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/general/how-to-set-boundaries-with- friends-and-when-to-do-it/ Oswald, R. (2023). Map It Out: Setting Boundaries For Your Well-Being. Mayo Clinic Health System. Retrieved from: https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/setting- boundaries-for-well-being