Final Project_ Film Study (2)

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1 Final Project: Film Study ATH111 Southern New Hampshire University 1

2 My Big Fat Greek Wedding is about a Greek American woman, Toula, who is struggling to keep her traditional Greek parents satisfied, while also wanting to experience the American dream, which isn’t ideal for her strict father, Gus. Toula started dating an American man named Ian, which made them hide their relationship from her family because he isn’t Greek. When the secret came out, Gus was destroyed that his daughter was not with a Greek man. Ian asks Toula to marry him, and they were very excited about this engagement, but Gus continued to be unhappy. The two very differently cultured families met, and there is some discomfort and judgment between them both. In the end, Ian converted to Greek Orthodoxy because he knows how important it is for Toula to get married in the Greek church. When they got married, both families seemed to be more accepting of each other's cultures. Although all of the core anthropological concepts can be related to this film, I chose to analyze the symbols, gender roles, and ethnocentrism that are engulfed in this film. My Big Fat Greek Wedding shows that even the most ethnocentric person can open up and be more accepting of another culture when they love their family. We will also compare Greek and American cultures that are represented throughout the movie, and how Toula is torn between cultures. First, we will discuss a symbol from the film. A symbol can be represented as a gesture (MindEdge, Inc., 2019). The symbols that we see in this film are not what most people are used to, especially the spitting. Ian watches Maria, Toula’s mom, spit on her grandchildren. Ian asked if she is spitting on the kids to which Toula replies that it is “for good luck”, and “to keep the devil away” (Wilson et al., 2002). In other cultures, spitting is offensive, especially in American culture, so this is why Ian was surprised to see Toula’s family spitting on people. In the film, there are a few scenes where family members are seen spitting on kids or during the wedding when Toula is walking down the aisle. 2

3 The gender roles that I analyzed in My Big Fat Greek Wedding , are that women must always obey their husbands or fathers, even if that means crushing their happiness. Men and women do not seem to be equal in Greek culture as portrayed in the film. There were multiple scenes where Gus reminded Toula or Maria that they must listen to him because “the man is the head of the house”. Maria had reminded Toula that although her father is the “head of the house”, the wife is the neck, and “the neck can turn the head any way she likes”. Maria was trying to convince Gus that it would be good for Toula to go back to school to expand her knowledge, Gus then said that Toula is already “smart enough for a girl” and doesn’t think that women need to get an education because it’s more important for women to stay at home and tend to their families by cooking and cleaning, and be “baby-making machines” (Wilson et al., 2002). And for our third concept, we will discuss ethnocentrism in the film. Gus is a textbook example of one being ethnocentric in My Big Fat Greek Wedding . Ethnocentric is when one thinks that their culture is superior to another. In addition, ethnocentric people do not agree with or like other cultures and are usually vocal about it (MindEdge, Inc., 2019). Gus believes that Greeks should stay with Greeks. At the beginning of the film, Gus tells Toula that “there are 2 kinds of people, Greeks, and everyone else who wishes they were Greek”. Gus thinks that the Greeks are the greatest civilization in the world, and mentions it many times in the film. Gus also has a breakdown when he discovers that his daughter is with a “xeno” (Wilson et al., 2002). He was so devastated about this that he was crying and yelling as if it was the end of the world. Gus eventually accepts the fact that his daughter is with a non-Greek, but this takes a lot of convincing. Now with all of these examples in mind, we will compare Greek and American cultures. In Greek culture, it is normal for women to stay at home with their parents until they’re married, 3

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4 and it’s also normal for a woman’s only job to be to take care of their family and husband. They are not expected to do much other than please their husband and family. Toula says that a Greek woman’s responsibility is to “marry Greek boys, make Greek babies, and feed everyone until we die” (Wilson et al., 2002). Women in Greek culture are also not expected to have any other job that’s not in the family business or to be educated since they're supposed to stay home anyways. While in American culture, women are free to go to school, work, and even become business owners. American women can leave home at 18 and date whomever they would like with minimal judgment from others. Toula is Greek-American and only wants the best of both worlds, she still wants to represent her Greek heritage. Still, she also wants to leave the family restaurant to go back to school and learn about computers against her father's wishes. In the film, we see that Toula’s mother shows cultural relativity because she is understanding that Toula wants to do more than just stay at home and care for her family. She is happy that her mother understands, but Toula wants her father to understand too that they’re in America now and that things are different, especially for women. Food is also a big part of all cultures and is represented from both sides. At the beginning of the film, Toula is shown as a young girl eating lunch at school. When another student asks her what she’s eating she responds with “mousaka”, this made the other students laugh and make fun of her because it sounds like “moose kaka” (Wilson et al., 2002). In American culture, we can see why a dish called “moose kaka” can be funny. Later in the film, we see Toula as an adult in school eating a sandwich, which is a more traditional American lunch. Another funny food example of how Greek culture and American culture clash together in the film is when Ian’s mom gives Maria a bundt cake, and Maria doesn’t know why there is a hole in it. Ian’s mom keeps saying bundt. Maria tries to say it but can’t pronounce it properly. In the next scene, you 4

5 see Maria put a vase of flowers in the hole of the bundt cake. This just shows how this kind of cake isn’t normal in Greek culture. Ian’s parents looked at the cake in disbelief. And finally, the biggest conflict between cultures in the film is when Toula and Ian are caught kissing. This prompted the family to get together in a big meeting to discuss how Toula is going to end things with Ian. Her family wasn’t giving her a chance to be with a non-Greek. Gus’ response to Toula dating a non-Greek was to bring a different Greek man to their family dinners in hopes Toula would marry one of them. This kind of reaction isn’t very normal in American culture to try and arrange marriages for your children. This brought a lot of tension in the film because Toula was torn between her old culture and her new culture. Her father made her feel like she was doing something horrible by loving someone outside of the Greek culture. In American culture, you can love anyone without judgment. If I had a chance to meet Gus, I would have a few questions to ask him. These questions would be– 1. Have you ever loved someone that your family didn’t approve of? Did your family know you loved this person? Does everyone in your family marry Greeks? 2. Did your father talk to your mother and sisters the way that you speak to Maria and Toula? 3. Do you believe that all married women have to stay home and take care of their families? Can men stay home while women work? 4. Has your mother and sisters always stayed at home to take care of the family? Are any of them educated or have careers outside of the family business? 5. Why do you want Toula to stay at home instead of going to school? 6. If Ian was the richest person in the world, would you still have disapproved of 5

6 Toula dating him? And is there something that Ian could do that would get your approval? 7. If Ian was European would you still be as angry? Or does this have nothing to do with being American? 8. And lastly, isn’t Toula’s happiness a priority for you? I believe asking these questions would give me a better understanding of his views on gender roles. It will also help me understand why he feels so strongly about these things. And to understand why he acts the way that he does we need to know more about his background and where he came from. Perhaps I should have picked a different film because I am Greek-American like Toula. But I still learned a lot from this film study. I was told to watch this film from a different perspective. I imagined that I was learning about the culture for the first time, and I will admit, some scenes were surprising. The way that Gus has a complete breakdown as if he is going to die because his daughter is with a non-Greek is really offensive to any other culture. One of the most important things that I learned is how important cultural relativism is. My mom was a police officer, and my dad and grandfather hated that. I find this similar to the film because my dad and grandfather didn’t think that women should have a job outside of the home, especially in the police. My mom taught my brothers and me to never think this way. She also came to America to give us a better life. She was really encouraging for us to experience the American culture growing up. When I was interning for the coroner’s office, my dad was really upset. I remember my mom telling him all the time that we will and can do what we want as long as it is safe and made us happy and successful. My Big Fat Greek Wedding is really important to me and all Greek Americans. 6

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7 And to conclude this film study, culture influences our everyday decisions. We don’t acknowledge it because it’s normal for us but imagine stepping into another culture. How would that affect the way you do an everyday task? Like in the film, maybe it’s not normal for women to go to school and to have normal jobs. I think about how life would be much different if it wasn’t acceptable for me to have an education. Or what if you could only love within your culture? My fiance is Brazillian. I would be devastated if I couldn’t be with him. I am very fortunate to be living in a place where I can be who I want to be, and be with who I want to be with. I know not everyone believes this to be true, even in 2023. But my beliefs are more strong after watching this film. The film taught me that you do not have to give up your heritage to love someone from another culture. There are ways to embrace multiple cultures, take different values and beliefs from these cultures and incorporate them into your daily life. I believe this is the key to happiness. 7

8 Resources MindEdge, Inc. (2019). Introductory Essay: What is Anthropology? Introduction to Cultural Anthropology . MindEdge, Inc. MindEdge, Inc. (2019). Key Characteristics of Culture. Introduction to Cultural Anthropology . MindEdge, Inc. Wilson, R., Hanks, T., Goetzman, G. (Producers) & Zwick, J. (Director). (2002). My Big Fat Greek Wedding. [Film]. Gold Circle Films. 8

Final Project_ Film Study (2)

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