We Should All Be Feminists Discussion Questions  

As defined by Adichie in “We Should All Be Feminists,” what is a feminist?

After being called a feminist by her childhood friend Okoloma, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie consults the dictionary, where she finds this definition: “a person who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes.” This definition did not seem, as she had gathered from the tone in which Okoloma said it, in any way dangerous. Yet she finds over time and as she becomes well-known for authoring books some call “feminist,” that the word carries connotations not apparent in the dictionary definition. Among other things, she learns that feminists are supposedly unhappy women who hate men. Adichie unpacks these negative stereotypes and rejects them, then shows how feminist ideas of equality are actually the opposite of dangerous; they are healing. “We Should All Be Feminists” begins by explaining why a feminist is a good thing to be.

A feminist, according to Adichie, sees that restrictive and limiting gender expectations are harmful for all people, not only women. Masculinity is a “cage,” she says; it produces men who are afraid of their full humanity and whose fragile egos women are expected to protect and flatter. A feminist wants to fix this. Thus, Adichie observes, a feminist is not necessarily a woman; a feminist is anyone who sees these problems and wants to create a future in which people can express their full humanity unhindered by gender stereotypes.

How does Adichie describe the relation among biology, society, and gender?

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie explains that there are general biological differences between men and women as a whole. Hormones, size, and physical strength follow distinct trends among the sexes, though not always in individual instances. These differences, she notes, may have made men naturally dominant in earlier stages of evolution, when survival of the species depended on physical size and strength. Yet she also observes that different traits are now associated with success and survival of the species: intelligence and creativity, for example, traits not associated with hormones. As a result, a biological argument for inequality of the sexes does not hold up in modern society.

Yet, as is noted throughout “We Should All Be Feminists,” gender differences are still a huge social and political issue today. Thus, Adichie concludes, these differences may have their roots in biology, but they are amplified by society’s notions of masculinity and femininity and the strict gender roles society demands people fit into. As a result, it is society, not biology, that upholds the very limiting gender norms boys and girls are taught from a young age and carry with them throughout life. If society is the primary driver of these gender norms, then society—beginning with individuals—can change them.

In what ways are wealth and feminism related, according to “We Should All Be Feminists”?

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie addresses how society links masculinity with money and how this is a harmful connection. It sets up the expectation that if a man and a woman go on a date, for example, the man will pay, even if he can’t easily do so or the woman has more money than he does. This expectation leads boys to steal money from their parents and makes men ashamed of their inability to pay. It also results in glaring examples of gender discrimination, such as when Adichie tips someone with cash from her own purse and yet her friend Louis is thanked—because of the expectation that a woman does not have her own money but gets her money from a man.

This connection between masculinity and money also means that women, even if successful or wealthy, often hide or give up their success to shield the fragile egos of their boyfriends or husbands. Thus, feminism means, in part, not shaming women for being successful or well-off and not shaming men for being poor. Adichie envisions that, if we begin now to change the way we raise children, the next generation of boys will not have to prove their worth by having money, and the next generation of girls will have greater access to their own money because they will not feel pressure to give up their ambitions for the sake of male egos.

How does “We Should All Be Feminists” suggest that a man can model feminism?

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie asserts that all people should be feminists, because feminists believe that current gender expectations are harmful to both men and women. Men, she shows through several examples, often do not notice the harms done by societal gender norms because in many ways they are shielded from their obvious effects. That is, women bear the brunt of the discrimination, and men, who do not, often fail to even see what is so obvious to women. Therefore, the first thing men need to do to be feminists is to notice the problem. They need to notice not only that women face discrimination but that fixed gender norms and stereotypes are harmful to both men and women. Men need to notice that the pressure to be masculine creates a fear of vulnerability that limits the expression of their full humanity.

Once men are aware of the problem of gender discrimination, they model feminism when they take action to correct the problem. Adichie focuses primarily on how this correction would play out in parental roles, since she notes the many ways these gender expectations are taught to children at a very young age. Fathers can be feminists by teaching and expecting their sons to cook their own food, for example, rather than having a female sibling cook for them. They can also encourage their daughters to pursue their own interests and abilities, not only marriage. Over time, changes such as these will change the culture for future generations. 

How is gender linked to economic class and to social advantage or disadvantage?

Throughout “We Should All Be Feminists,” Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie primarily engages with the ways that gender is linked to social advantage and disadvantage. She argues that women lack both social and economic advantage due to the gender-based discrimination they face; thus, addressing oppressive gender roles could have a ripple effect for women’s social equality and economic freedom. She notes that, currently, women do not tend to have as much financial independence as men do but that this is because they have not been encouraged to pursue careers that might bring them such independence.

Gender and economic class also are linked for men but in a different way. Having money is seen as a sign of successful masculinity, which men feel social pressure to portray. One result of this is that boys more often steal money from their parents so that they can perform masculinity well on dates and other social occasions. Another result is that, even if a woman has money, she is pressured to hide that fact to preserve the fiction that her male partner or husband controls the finances. The link between money and masculinity becomes a source of anxiety for men and a barrier to social mobility for women.