We Should All Be Feminists Major and Minor Quotes

“If we see the same thing over and over, it becomes normal.” Beginning (Page 13)

—Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Analysis: Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie bases the beginning of her argument on her own childhood experiences. One of these involved being passed over for the role of “class monitor” in school even though she won the role fair and square by getting the highest score on the test. A boy who got the second-highest score got the job instead, and, she notes, he was absolutely uninterested in it while she was eager to be class monitor. The teacher simply could not envision a girl being given a leadership role; it would not have been “normal.” It just was not done.

Adichie notes here that “normal” is not an indelible condition. It is established and reinforced by repetition. Something becomes normal because we see it so much we can’t imagine it any other way. Within that context, the teacher’s response makes sense: it may have lacked imagination, but it is understandable given what the teacher’s experience had been up to that point. On the other hand, Adichie suggests, if “normal” is not indelible but malleable, it can be changed by changing what we see over and over. Hers is a hopeful message, because if we believe norms can change, we can hope for—and help to create—a better future.

“I often make the mistake of thinking that something that is obvious to me is just as obvious to everyone else.” Beginning (Page 14)

—Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Analysis: Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie describes her own realization that each person has different aspects of the human experience that are “obvious” and that one’s gender plays a role in what is obvious and what is not. Knowing that each person has a unique perspective in which some things are obvious and other things are obscured helps us understand why, for example, some men may not believe that sexism exists.

For women, Adichie points out, gender discrimination is a commonplace part of day-to-day life. It is so blatantly obvious it is very hard to imagine that not everyone sees it. But because men, like Adichie’s friend Louis, are not on the receiving end of gender discrimination, its very existence can be somewhat hidden from them. In Louis’s case, it is only when an extremely blatant example occurs right in front of him—when he is directly thanked for a tip that Adichie gave someone—that he begins to see this dimension of Adichie’s experience. Part of her argument is that men can be feminists—and should be feminists—and that the beginning of becoming a feminist is noticing that gender discrimination actually exists. It is not a thing of the past, even though there have been many gains for women. A feminist notices sexism, believes it is a problem, and wants to do better.

“We have evolved. But our ideas of gender have not evolved very much.” Middle (Page 18)

—Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Analysis: Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie suggests that at one time in human evolution, it may have made more sense for men to be in charge. They are, on the whole, larger and more muscular. (She acknowledges that this is only true in general, not in every specific circumstance.) Men have a mix of hormones that promote physical strength. When survival and success depended on physical strength and power, men naturally took leadership roles.

However, she notes here, humanity has evolved since that time. We now have societies, governments, technology, and all sorts of other ways we’ve developed to survive and find success. In modern society, it is not only the largest, most physically powerful people who help the human race to survive and thrive. Cleverness, creativity, intelligence, and other characteristics are just as—if not more—important to our continued survival. And these, Adichie says, are characteristics whose distribution does not follow gender lines. They are not determined by hormones. Therefore, she asserts, our ideas about gender must catch up with our physical and societal evolution. Part of being a feminist means helping our ideas of gender evolve to meet our current state of human evolution.

“We should all be angry.” Middle (page 21)

—Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Analysis: In this quote, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie echoes the title of the essay, “We Should All Be Feminists.” Anger is connected to feminism for Adichie not because feminists are angry people but because they see a major societal problem and want to fix it. For many, seeing or experiencing the reality of sexism is angering. This is especially true, Adichie points out, for women, who bear the worst of the negative effects of gender discrimination and are often the most angered by the injustice of gender discrimination. Yet Adichie calls all people to be angry about the current state of things and desire to see change.

However, in discussing anger, she also observes that women are not “supposed” to express their anger. A woman expressing anger seems like a threat, and so women keep their anger hidden. They present a different face to the world—one that is more in line with what society expects and desires from women. Thus, she claims, while we should all be angry, men should become angry about the unjust treatment of women and the very defined and limiting gender roles both men and women are expected to conform to; women should allow their anger to show.

“And I would like today to ask that we begin to dream about and plan for a different world.” Middle (Page 25)

—Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Analysis: While Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie spends time thoroughly describing the problem of gender discrimination, her overall message is one of hope for a better future. She believes that a better world, with more freedom for both men and women to be their true selves, not confined to the small box of gender norms, is possible. This better world, moreover, can be achieved by the planning and action of real people—the very people who make up the audience of the essay, in fact. Norms are established and upheld by the actions of people, who model to the next generation those norms and pass them down through time. But if norms can be established by human action, they can be remade by human action as well.

It is this belief in what is possible that leads Adichie to ask that “we begin to dream about and plan for a different world.” She asks her audience to first dream about a different world—to engage the imagination in envisioning what such a world would look like. Then, she asks them to plan for that world—to think of the actions and steps that will bring that world about. In doing so, she places the future in the hands of those in the present.

“Masculinity is a hard, small cage, and we put boys inside this cage.” Middle (Page 26)

—Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Analysis: Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie makes the case that while the situation for women is worse when it comes to gender discrimination, men suffer as well from the norms society upholds for them. In this image of placing a young boy inside a “hard, small cage,” she poignantly argues that the gender norms boys internalize are extremely limiting. Masculinity, performed in keeping with society’s demands, is a very strict set of behaviors, attitudes, and feelings. It “stifles” boys’ humanity because it does not allow them access to the full range of human feelings and experiences.

The method of imprisonment in this cage, she explains, is fear. Boys are taught to be afraid of being vulnerable or weak. They are taught to hide their true internal conditions with a mask of hardness or invulnerability. They must always be the ones to pay for a date, regardless of whether they make more or less money than their partner. Furthermore, she argues, the strict requirements of masculinity, enforced by fear, leave men with fragile egos that women are then asked to protect. The result is a situation in which men hide their inner fragility through performing masculinity and women protect men’s inner fragility by pretending to be weaker than they are.

“The problem with gender is that it prescribes how we should be rather than recognizing how we are.” Middle (Page 34)

—Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Analysis: In her essay, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie explores the way gender norms cause people to hide their true selves by creating an outward presentation that conforms to gender norms regardless of how well that outward presentation matches their true self. Expectations of what masculinity and femininity are supposed to be provide a template that people use to create a mask they can present to society. For men in Nigerian culture, this is the “hard man,” she explains. For women, this mask may be that they like cooking or doing domestic things. Most cultures have something similar.

So, Adichie argues, the result is a situation in which neither men nor women are being their authentic selves. In the better world she envisions, children would not be raised with such limiting expectations of gender but would be encouraged to follow their interests and abilities. Parents would encourage their children to discover and pursue their own likes and talents rather than requiring them to learn and do the things society prescribes for them. Men, perhaps, would feel free to be vulnerable at times. Women, perhaps, would feel free to remain unmarried. In any case, people generally would be able to allow their external expression of self to align more closely with their inner self.

“I have chosen to no longer be apologetic for my femininity.” End (Page 39)

—Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Analysis: In the essay, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie relates an experience in which she had a new teaching job and decided to wear a very masculine suit in order to be taken more seriously. In general, she prefers more feminine clothing, but she chose clothing that did not reflect her own tastes in order to be respected. Reflecting on this experience, she explores how masculinity is considered the standard in many work contexts, and so women try to conform to more masculine appearances when they are in those contexts. Men, in contrast, do not have quite the same dilemma. Then she explains that as she became more confident in herself and in her professional role, she felt more comfortable wearing feminine clothing. She decided not to be “apologetic” for her feminine presentation or tastes.

This is an interesting twist on her idea that gender roles limit people’s self-expression, because in this case she decided to present more masculinely, which seems like a challenge to traditional gender roles. Nonetheless, it shows how gender expectations and norms affect the way people present themselves—whether that is to conform to gender norms or to adopt a more masculine gender expression in order to garner the respect men get as a matter of course. Either way, the gender norms hinder authentic self-expression.

“Culture does not make people. People make culture.” End (Page 46)

—Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Analysis: These two short sentences are Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s answer to people who dismiss her call for change by saying gender norms are simply “our culture.” She challenges the idea that culture is unchanging; in fact, she suggests the idea is laughable, as cultures have changed constantly throughout history. While Adichie’s focus is on Nigerian culture, the principle is true of all cultures. People create culture, and therefore they can recreate it.

These two sentences are also the foundation of her call to action. We should all be feminists, Adichie argues, because we have the power to shape culture. We should use this power to make the world a better place for all people, regardless of gender. Adichie weaves this concept throughout the essay; it is the reason she includes so many examples of how children learn cultural norms. Parents can raise their children differently. Teachers can teach their students differently. We make choices all the time to either perpetuate harmful cultural norms or change them. So, she says, we should make better choices now to create a better future.

“All of us, women and men, must do better.” End (Page 46)

—Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Analysis: Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie ends her argument with a simple call to action: do better. It’s hard not to hear in these words an echo of poet Maya Angelou (1928–2014): “Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better.” Adichie asks her audience to know better by acknowledging there is a problem with gender—to notice injustice and inequity. Then, she asks them to do better—to create a better world for both men and women to live in as their true selves.

This conclusion is clear and brief. It tasks the audience not with changing the entire world in a day but with simply doing better. It’s not so hard, Adichie reassures her audience, to recognize the ways we cage men inside masculinity and then make women servants to those fragile men’s egos. It’s not so hard for a man to speak up when a woman he’s with is disrespected, ignored, or passed over. We must do better, and we can do better: this is the message and the hope of Adichie’s essay.