Summary: Middle (pp. 16–34)
The body of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s argument begins by acknowledging that there are differences between men and women in general. For example, men and women generally have different hormones that cause their bodies to develop differently, and on the whole, this has made men larger and physically stronger than women. She remarks that given this reality, male dominance made sense in the early years of human evolution, when physical size and strength were so important for humanity’s survival. However, this is not the case anymore: being creative and smart are now more important to the species’ future than physical strength. Adichie notes that there are no hormones that control those characteristics.
Yet, she continues, society maintains that men are better and more important, which makes her angry. “We should all be angry,” Adichie asserts: anger often brings about change. Nonetheless, she is also hopeful, because people have the power to change society—to imagine the possibility of a better way and then decide to create that change.
From this point, Adichie explores the ways that societal norms and expectations for men and women are ingrained from childhood. She begins by showing how expectations for men to be masculine in a very specific way—strong, in charge, without vulnerability—severely limit their ability to be fully human. “We trap boys in a cold hard cage” of masculinity, she explains, by making them afraid to be vulnerable or weak. This creates men who hide all their weaknesses and who, because they are afraid, have fragile egos. Furthermore, she suggests, the men who appear the most masculine have the most fragile egos. Adichie explains that girls receive an even worse lesson: namely, that they must cater to and protect the fragile egos of men. This causes women to hide any aspect of themselves that might be perceived as a threat to the fragile masculinity of men, such as their own success.
Adichie relates examples of the harms done by these unjust gender norms, such as the way women give up their dreams and ambitions in order to make their marriages work or the way society blames women for being raped while excusing men because they can’t be expected to control themselves around women. Then she asks her audience to consider what the world would be like if we changed our thinking about gender norms and taught our children differently. What would it be like, she asks, if we stopped teaching girls to only aspire to marriage, to serve men, and to feel ashamed of their own sexual desires? What would happen if we raised boys to cook for themselves, to believe it is normal for a father to change his child’s diapers, to believe they have self-control and are not savages driven by sexual need?
A change of mindset is necessary, Adichie says, for the problem of gender inequality to get better. Children must grow up in an environment that emphasizes their abilities and interests, not the fulfillment of expected gender roles.
Analysis: Middle (pp. 16–34)
The introduction is followed by the body of the essay in which Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie develops her argument and provides support for its claim. Her first main point is that there is no current reason for men to be seen as better or worthier than women. She anticipates the counterargument that men are more valuable to society on account of their tendency to be physically stronger; she refutes this by noting that the skills most important for humanity now are intelligence, creativity, and the ability to innovate. These skills, she asserts, are found in both men and women, so they should be seen as equally worthy or important.
Her second main point is that men and women—boys and girls—suffer harm from being pressed into limited ideas of gender. She uses the vivid image of a boy being trapped in a “hard, small cage” to show how boys—and the men they grow up to be—are prevented from realizing their full humanity by fear—fear of appearing weak or vulnerable. She then shows that once we trap men in this way, it follows that women must protect the fragile male egos that result. This leads to the oppression of women. The combined effect is that both men and women must project an outward image that is not at all a reflection of their true selves. Everyone leads a double life because no one can be honest or true to their authentic selves.
Her third main point is that all of this can change if people decide to change it. People have the power to change how they raise the next generation of children, and so childhood is where we must begin.