Intro to Biblical Counseling notes Student Spring 2019

 It is not an ________ ________ ministry of the church  What biblical counseling is  Discerning thinking and ________ ________ that God wants to ______ ______ Hebrews 4:12  Using God’s Word to change thinking and behavior 2 Timothy 3:16-17  The Greek word is “nouthetic,” meaning “to ________ ________ , to verbally point out ___ ___ with an attitude to help change their direction.” Acts 20:31; Romans 15:14; 1 Corinthians 4:14; Colossians 1:28, 3:15; 1 Thessalonians 5:12, 14; 2 Thessalonians 3:15  Our working definition: Changing Behavior ___________ __________ II. What Should the Biblical Counselor Seek to Accomplish?  _________ _________  First and foremost, our primary goal is the same as the Savior’s in Luke 19:10, “For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost.”  Salvation should never be _______ _______ . Before we can help a person grow, they must have life.  ________ ________ and ____________ ____________  The counselor seeks to stimulate spiritual growth and personal development.  The counselor endeavors to help people ____ ____ effectively with life’s problems and difficulties.  The counselor will use Scripture to heal _____ _____ conflicts and crippled emotions.  The counselor should provide encouragement and ________ ________ for those suffering from loss or disappointment.  The counselor helps the counselee to develop life-long ________ ________ based on biblical principles which will help them to overcome all future problems. PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

 Isaiah 55:10-11, “For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater: So shall my word be that goeth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.”  God’s Word not only gives instruction with respect to the ___ ___ problem, but also contains __________ __________ by which every problem of life can be solved.  The Bible teaches salvation but also addresses the subjects of marriage, parent-child relationships, sexual relationships, anxiety, fear, stress, loneliness, doubt, pride, discouragement, etc. V. The Unseen Helper  At the core of all ministry, whether preaching, teaching, or counseling, is the influence of the .  John 16:7-13, “Nevertheless I tell you the truth; It is expedient for you that I go away: for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send him unto you. And when he is come, he will reprove the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment: Of sin, because they believe not on me; Of righteousness, because I go to my Father, and ye see me no more; Of judgment, because the prince of this world is judged. I have yet many things to say unto you, but ye cannot bear them now. Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come.”  We as counselors are only an __________ __________ through which He, the Holy Spirit, can work.  John 14:16, 26, “And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever; But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.” VI.Should the Local Church get involved in Counseling?  As we have noted, many feel that counseling should be left to those who are _____________ _____________ and have credentials to do this kind of work. PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

II. Short-Term goals in Achieving the Ultimate Goals – Our Plan A. In working with people, we will find that there are __________ __________ to those two main goals of evangelism and discipleship. B. The effective counselor must establish some short-term goals to break down these hindrances. 1. Self- _____________ _____________  Many problems are self- _______ _______ .  We must help the person get an ________ ________ picture of oneself.  Often a person has an ________ ________ or behavior that is destroying them.  Example : A person says, “Nobody likes me.” This constant whining by them brings on rejection by others. Thus, nobody likes them because they are always saying, “Nobody likes me.” 2. _____________ _____________  Most relationships, especially in the family settings, break down due to a ____ ____ of communication.  People often lose their ___________ ___________ to communicate.  The counselee must be encouraged and in some cases taught to express their feelings, thoughts, and attitudes accurately and effectively. They must also learn how to ______ ______ accurate communication from others even when it hurts. 3. Learning to ______ ______ behavior  Most behavior is _______ _______ . Helping people involves helping them unlearn ineffective behavior.  New behavior must then be inserted in place of the old ways. This new behavior can be learned through several ways: i. ___________ __________ . ii. _________ _________ of others. PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

 Man must have hope in order to change IV.The Basic Techniques of Counseling – the Practical Pointers A. The effective counselor must do more than just ____ ____ the counselee and have a desire to offer support through their problem. B. We must establish a clear _______ _______ in how we are going to help. 1. _________ _________  The counselor must continuously give the counselee his _________ _________ attention.  Eye -_______ _______ is essential. Looking at the person without staring conveys concern and understanding.  Your _______ _______ should always be relaxed rather than tense. Lean toward the counselee when listening.  _______ ________ should be general and not excessive or distractive.  Counseling is hard ____ ____ . The counselor must fight his or her own fatigue, impatience, pre-occupation with other matters, daydreaming, or restlessness. 2. _________ _________  A. M. Nicholi Jr., in an article entitled “The Therapist- Patient Relationship” published in the Harvard Guide to Modern Psychiatry, listed the following as essential to proper listening: i. Having sufficient awareness and resolution of one’s own conflicts to avoid reacting in a way that __________ __________ with the counselee’s free expression of thoughts and feelings. ii. Avoiding subtle verbal or nonverbal expressions of _______ _______ or judgment toward the content of the counselee’s story, even when that content offends the counselor’s sensibilities. iii. Waiting patiently through periods of _______ _______ or tears as the counselee summons up courage to delve into painful material or pauses to collect his or her thoughts or to regain composure. PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

(b) Confrontation may bring anger, resistance, or guilt, and so the counselor must give the counselee adequate time and opportunity to respond to it and offer ways to ______ ______ v. _________ _________ : This is simply giving the facts that people need to solve their problems. (a) This is different than merely giving ______ ______ (b) When a counselee is given the right information, particularly from the _____ _____ , they will then be able to make their own decisions based on that proper information. vi. ______________ _____________ : This is the explanation of what the counselee’s reactions or behavior means. (a) The ______ ______ of this interpretation is very crucial. We must make sure they are ready to receive and handle this information emotionally. (b) A good phrase to use as you present this information would be: “Could it be that. . .” Then allow them to respond. vii. _______ _______ and ____________ _____________ : This is the reassuring and guiding part of the process.  We must help them take inventory of their spiritual resources, encourage them to act, and help them when problems resurface or there is failure. 4. ________________  The effective counselor is really an ________ ________ . i. We teach by instruction, example, and guidance. ii. Teaching is always most effective when it is ________ ________ rather than vague in nature. iii. Teaching must always focus on concrete _________ _________ . PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

F. The types of task agreements are limitless but usually fall into one of five categories: 1. _______ _______ : Questionnaires, sentence completion forms, tests, and writing assignments (listing one’s goals, likes or dislikes, a brief testimony). These are then taken back to the counselor and discussed. 2. Discussion and study ______ ______ : These are often found at the end of chapters in a book that may be assigned for reading. They can also be written by the counselor to apply specifically to the problem at hand. 3. ________ ________ assignments: Saying “thank you,” giving periodic compliments, not complaining, getting to work on time, reading the Bible, spending time in prayer, memorization of Scripture, etc. 4. _______ _______ : Articles, books, passages of Scripture addressing the problem are all helpful task agreements. 5. __________ __________ : Sermons, the Bible on tape; music (it sure helped King Saul), etc. Conclusion: People’s problems today are complex and time consuming. They are not often easily and quickly solved. Effective counseling will take your time and energy. But we are in the ______ ______ business in ministry. Leading people to Christ which gives them eternal life, and then helping them enjoy God’s abundant life is both commanding and fulfilling. PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

b. This approach does not help people permanently because again the _________ _________ is upon the counselor. C. All of these tendencies must be ________ ________ .  Our effectiveness will be lost if the helping relationship is used primarily to satisfy ___ _______ rather than the counselee. II. The Counselor’s Role A. It is imperative that the counselor have a clear _______ _______ as to their role and responsibility. They have to be ____ ________ , _____ _____ , and _____ _____ ! B. Maurice E. Wagner, in Hazards to Effective Pastoral Counseling , identifies several potential areas of role _________ _________ . 1. ________ ________ instead of counseling. a. Visiting is ________ ________ and involves mutual sharing. b. Counseling on the other hand, is problem centered, goal directed ____________ ____________ which focuses on one person – the counselee. 2. Being too _____ _____ instead of deliberate in our approach. a. Busy, goal-directed people (which is what most Christian workers who are worth anything), want to reach _____ _____ successful solutions. b. Much of the counselee’s success, however, will depend upon deliberate _________ _________ and thoughtful attention to the problem. c. Hasty advice will be taken as something that is said only so that the counselor can move on to something else. d. A relaxed deliberate pace makes the counselee sense the undivided and serious ________ ________ of the counselor. 3. Being _____________ _____________ instead of sympathetic. a. Counselor’s must never __________ __________ people into a stereotype of some kind: “carnal,” “rebel,” “divorcee,” etc. b. This will result in advice that sounds categorized and rigid, which will make the counselee feel disrespected. PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

4. Overloading instead of ______ ______ . a. The counselor should not attempt to accomplish too ____ ____ in one session. b. When the counselee is overwhelmed with information, they will be ________ ________ as to what to do. c. Usually, a person can only handle one or two major insights at a time. d. Shorter and more ________ ________ sessions may be necessary. 5. Being __________ __________ instead of being unbiased. a. The counselor must be confrontational but not attacking in nature. b. Jesus is described as being touched with the feelings of our infirmities. He never condoned sin, but He did _________ __________ the sinner. c. Christ always showed kindness toward those who were willing to listen and be helped (the woman at the well, Nicodemus, the thief on the cross, etc.). 6. Being directive instead of ____________ ____________ . a. The counselor must be careful not to ____ ____ the person what to do.  This confuses ___ ___ opinion with the ____ ____ of God. b. We must lead the person to make decisions _______ _______ us based on the principles of God’s Word which we have given them. c. Our role is like that of a coach who is on the field with the players during practice, but by game time must withdraw to the sideline and let the players play. 7. Becoming emotionally involved instead of remaining _________ _________ . a. There is a fine line that exists between caring and being objective. PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

b. Lengthy appointments, numerous conversations without an appointment, and ________ ________ will all cause the counselor to lose his or her effectiveness. 8. Being _________ _________ instead of empathetic. a. When we take criticism personally, are unable to help, made to feel guilty, or are in danger of being harmed in some way, our effectiveness will be hindered. b. When _______ _______ goes, so does effective counseling. C. ______ ______ is really the Counselor. 1. We are merely His ______ ______ involved with Him in His work. 2. We must view ourselves as His representatives. 3. The Holy Spirit is our Comforter and Guide and will lead us as we endeavor to help others. Conclusion: While results from counseling depend heavily upon the counselee’s attitude and desire for help, we have seen in this lecture that the counselor has a great _____________ ______________ in this process. As in every type of ministry, the counselor must be conscious of himself as a _______ ________ through which truth must flow. If that conduit is marred in some way, it will not matter how pure the message is or how polished his methods are. It would seem obvious that a preacher should be right with God before he preaches, or that a soulwinner would ask for power before knocking on a door, or that a teacher would be surrendered to the Holy Spirit. It should then be no less important that a counselor “walk with God” in their personal life and then prepare spiritually before each session so that God’s Word can bring about eternal results. PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

Lecture Four The Counselor – Part II Introduction: In our last lecture, we looked at the counselor’s motivation, his responsibility, and his role. If the counselor is not aware of his or her own condition, they cannot be effective in helping anyone else. As we continue our study in the aspects of an effective Christian counselor, we are going to look at some areas of _______ _______ importance. Lives are at stake and we cannot afford to take any of these matters lightly. Paul reminded Timothy in 1 Timothy 4:16 to “Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine. . .” The order of that reminder is important. Doctrine or truth is not only important, it is essential to results. But Paul tells Timothy to first take heed to ______________ . Right doctrine coming from a wrong life will produce nothing of eternal significance. In 1 Timothy 5:22, Paul again instructs Timothy to “keep thyself pure.” If there is sin, guilt, bitterness, baggage, etc. in our lives as counselors, it will be impossible to offer any solutions of value for someone else. When your counseling seems ____________ ___________ , check the areas of your life that we are covering here in lectures three and four. I. The Counselor’s Sexuality A. The ______ ______ of teamwork. 1. When two people work together toward a common goal, a feeling of camaraderie and ____________ develops. 2. If these two people are of ________ ________ gender, this warmth will almost always have a sexual component, or at least the potential of it. B. Some guidelines of ____________________ : 1. Never counsel out of _____ _____ or out of _______ _______ . a. You must remain ____________ ____________ . i. Counseling should be done in your office or some neutral site, not in your home or theirs. PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

ii. Sessions should not take place when there is no one else in the building where your office is located. iii. Your office door should have a _____ _____ window that is clear and large enough so that anyone passing by can see you and the counselee in full view. iv. Your office should not be so sound proof, that a co- worker could not hear what is being discussed if they so desired. v. As a counselor, you must build in these safeguards for your own ______________ ______________ and __________ __________ . 2. As a pastor or assistant, you should never counsel a married lady without her _______ _______ . a. You are not her first level of _____ _____ authority – her husband is – Ephesians 5:23, “For the husband is the head of the wife...” b. Women, such as your wife or another staff lady, may counsel women about their role in their marriage, etc., but even then, the husband should be aware of this counsel. 3. When counseling the opposite gender (an unmarried person) you should do so with someone else _______ _______ . a. Your ____ ____ is always a good choice, however, sometimes in an urgent situation, a godly secretary or staff member should be available. 4. Guard your ____ ____ with the Word of God. a. No one is exempt from falling. 1 Corinthians 10:12, “Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.” b. God has given us the “Sword of the Spirit.” Psalm 119:11, “Thy word have I hid in my heart, that I might not sin against thee.” c. Don’t ever fall into the ____ ____ , “It won’t happen to me.” Proverbs 7:26, “... yea, many strong men have been slain by her.” PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

5. Avoid the following: a. __________ __________ : Men should not compliment women about their appearance, personality, or even spirituality. b. ________ ________ : This includes words and facial or bodily gestures or actions. c. ________ ________ : 1 Corinthians 7:1, “It is good for a man not to touch a woman.” Enough said! C. Both the counselor and the counselee must remember that ___ ___ does not tempt anyone. 1. It is the devil who tempts. Keep in mind though, that he cannot ____ ____ us do anything. He only puts forth the temptation. 2. It is always ___ ___ choice to sin and when we do, it is our fault alone. 3. As a Christian, we have the Holy Spirit to guide us and warn us. 4. If we ask for His help, we have the confidence from 1 John 4:4 that “...greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.” II. The Counselor’s Burnout (Numbers 11:1-15) A. ____ ____ is Counseling Burnout? 1. Burnout: To _______ _______ oneself, to exhaust one’s physical and mental _________ _________ . To wear oneself out by excessively _______ _______ to reach some unrealistic ___________ ___________ , yet opposed by oneself or by the values of society. 2. Mental: The feeling of _______________ _______________ , bitterness, cynicism, irritability, or false guilt in trying to be __________ __________ in achievement. (Moses, Numbers 11) 3. Physical: The ________ ________ of bodily pain, inability to sleep, digestive problems, even strokes or heart attacks in _______ _______ cases. (Epaphroditus, Philippians 2) 4. Spiritual: ______ ______ for life, ______ ______ for work, emptiness of spirit, futility of long-lasting achievements, and _________ _________ to rest at night. (Elijah, I Kings 9) PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

a. Walk on _____ _____ syndrome – minister placed on a ________ ________ . b. Peter _________ _________ – “every employee tends to ____ ____ to his level of ____________ ____________ .” c. Moses was burned out. d. People helpers are prone to burnout. (Exodus 2:11-14) e. High achievers risk burnout. (Exodus 18:13-18) f. Many people suffer from one person’s burnout. (Exodus 18:18) g. When burnout occurs, daily problems are unable to be handled. (Numbers 11:14-15) h. Spiritual fellowship between the believer and God always suffers. (Numbers 11:11) i. A desire for suicide or death is often experienced. (Numbers 11:15) B. How do you ___ _____ ____ If You Are Burning Out? 1. Types who have a ____ ____ tendency for burnout: a. High _________ _________ – high drivers b. Workaholics – ___________ ___________ accepting more responsibility. c. Perfectionists – it has to be done _____ _____ . d. People ________ ________ . 2. Warning signs: a. Companions in the ________ ________ become ___________ ___________ . b. “I must _______ _______ ,” instead of “I must be faithful.” c. Physical _______ _______ – lack of enthusiasm. d. Visitation and _________ _________ responsibilities become a _________ ________ . PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

e. Sense of ______ _______ in ministry is lost. f. Negativism – ________ ________ , wonders about their ____ ____ . C. How Can You Get Out of Burn Out? 1. Define _______ _______ in your ministry. (Joshua 1:8) a. Is your _____ __________ biblical? b. Is your definition ________ ________ to the Lord? c. Is your definition in _________ _________ with your spouse and _________ _________ over you? 2. Have a day of ____ ____ . (Exodus 20:4-8) a. No responsibilities with ____ ____ . b. A day your ____ ____ is completely off the regular routine of work. 3. Memorize verses on God’s _____ _____ and rest. Isaiah 26:3; Psalm 37; Psalm 23; Philippians 4:4-11; Matthew 11:28-30; 1 Peter 5:6-7; Matthew 6:19-34; Psalm 27:1-6; Romans 8:26-35; 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 4. Learn how to ______ ______ anger. Ephesians 4:26 Clammer-upper Blower-upper a. A - Anticipate, _________ _________ your response b. N - _______ _______ , verbalize your response c. G - Give up, _________ _________ all personal rights to God d. E - _______ ________ , get all the facts before blowing up e. R - ________ ________ , take high energy and put it ______ ______ a solution 5. Learn how to ______ ______ disappointments. a. Wrong ___ ___ – discouragement, __________ __________ , despair b. Right way – _____ _____ on God, faith in God, go _______ _______ for God. PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

6. Keep a _____ _____ account of sin. I John 1:9; Ephesians 4:26 7. Learn how to cast your _____ _____ away. 1 Peter 5:1-7 Conclusion: The biblical counselor has something no other religious or secular counselor has: G oal of changing behavior biblically – our goal is the only one that has lasting change M ethod of questioning and getting to the root not by accusation or quick judgment, but rather probing by learning how to question A nswer to our counseling, found in a personal relationship with Christ and the Bible. We have the answer! I nsight we have: no one gives the root problem, at first, they only give the fruit problem. That helps the counselor tremendously. L ife is what the biblical counselor offers – eternal and abundant. No other counseling offers that. PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

Lecture Five Anxiety Introduction: Many _____ _____ are used today to describe an increasing problem. Anxiety, stress, fear and tension all have different meanings, but certainly all characterize an emotion that is all too prominent in lives today. Rollo May, in The Meaning of Anxiety , calls anxiety “one of the most urgent problems of our day.” It has been termed by many as the “official” _______ _______ of our society. Stress or anxiety has existed since the fall of man, but perhaps the ____ ____ of our culture has made it more noticeable than ever before. I. Defining Anxiety A. An inner _______ _______ of apprehension, uneasiness, concern, or worry, which is accompanied by some kind of physical reaction. B. Anxiety can come as a result of a ____ ____ danger or an imaginary or _______ _______ danger. C. Biblical Definition: Taking on ______________ ______________ given to God. 1 Peter 5:7; Philippians 4:6; Matthew 6:26-34 II. Types of Anxiety A. _____ ______ anxiety 1. It comes on _______ _______ . 2. It has a high _________ _________ . 3. It is short in _________ _________ . Example : You are soulwinning and a dog suddenly barks. B. _______ _______ anxiety 1. It is __________ __________ in nature 2. It is long-lasting. 3. It has a _____ _____ intensity PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

Example : A financial pressure or health problem. C. ______ ______ anxiety 1. Comes on as a result of a ____ ____ threat or danger. 2. The anxiety is _____________ _____________ to the danger. 3. This anxiety can be managed or reduced with a ______ ______ of circumstances. Example : The fear that comes prior to preaching or singing. D. ________ ________ anxiety 1. Intense and ___________ ___________ feelings of helplessness and dread even when the danger is mild or non-existent. 2. This condition is difficult to deal with because of the _____ _____ psychological conflicts that are associated with it. Example : Phobias such as a fear of the dark could be classified in this category. E. ________ ________ anxiety 1. Has a lower intensity. 2. It can be desirable and _______ _______. 3. Can help to ________ ________, avoid dangerous situations, and lead to increased efficiency. Example : Nervousness before a job interview or athletic contest. F. ____ ____ anxiety 1. It shortens the _________ _________ span. 2. Makes _____________ _____________ difficult. 3. Can affect the ______ ______. 4. _______ _______ performance skills. 5. Interferes with _______ _______ solving. PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

6. Can cause undesirable ________ ________ problems such as intense headaches and even paralysis. Example : We might commonly refer to this person as “stressed out.” III.The Bible and Anxiety A. The Bible speaks of two kinds of anxiety: 1. An emotion of ____ ____ or _____ _____ is condemned in Scripture. a. Matthew 6:25, “Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on.” b. Philippians 4:6-7, “Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace that passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” c. 1 Peter 5:7, “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” d. Gary Collins in his book, Overcoming Anxiety, writes: “Anxiety as fret and worry comes because of a sinful turning from God. Instead of acknowledging His sovereignty and preeminence, we have shifted the burdens of life unto ourselves and assumed that we alone can handle the problems that we face. When man turns from God and becomes his own god, increased anxiety is inevitable. Perhaps it is not surprising then, that in an age of increased godlessness there is also an increased anxiety.” e. “There is no peace, saith my God, to the wicked.” Isaiah 57:21 2. An emotion of realistic _______ _______ is not condemned in Scripture a. 2 Corinthians 11:28, “Beside those things that are without, that which cometh upon me daily, the care of all the churches.” b. Philippians 2:20, “For I have no man likeminded, who will naturally care for your state.” IV.The Causes of Anxiety PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

A. A legitimate ______ ______ of danger. 1. Crime, war, violent weather, unexplained illness, a visit to the dentist, the possible loss of a job, etc. a. In these cases the person feels ________ ________ to prevent or reduce what is coming. 2. A reduction of self- ______ ______. a. This is something that threatens a person’s self-image or ability to look good. b. This usually involves another ______ ______ and the one threatened will even avoid this person in order to avoid the risk of failure. 3. __________ __________ a. Death, divorce, a departure of some kind (children leaving home for college, or a spouse leaving for a business trip, etc.) b. Psychologist Otto Rank states that all anxiety stems from a __________ __________ of some kind, and life is filled with these beginning with separation from our mother’s womb to separation from life itself at death. 4. ___________ ___________ influence a. These are _____ _____ feelings that you are afraid are going to become outward feelings. Example : Anger or a bad temper that has the potential to turn into some kind of violent act against someone you love. B. ________ ________ : Two or more pressures exist and thus cause uncertainty and anxiety. 1. There are three types of conflict: a. ________ ________ - ________ ________ conflict  You have a choice between two __________ ________ things but it is impossible to do both. Example : Being invited to two events taking place at the same time. PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

b. ________ ________ - _________ _________ conflict  This is where a decision brings both ____ ____ and _________ ________ . Example : A new job brings better hours and more pay (approach); but requires a move and more training (avoidance). c. _________ _________ - _________ _________ conflict  Here are two options that are both _________ _________. Example : Having pain from an illness or having surgery which will be painful. C. _________ ____ 1. Fear comes in a variety of forms and intensity. 2. Some fears are real while others are ________ ________ . 3. They could include failure, rejection, the future, sickness, death, or loneliness. D. _________ _____ needs 1. Cecil Osborne, in Release from Fear and Anxiety, says there are ___ ___________ fundamental needs in man: a. ________ ________ : the need to have continued existence. b. ________ ________ : both economic and social. c. ____ _____________ : an expression of love as a sexual being. d. ____________ ___________ : to amount to something – to be considered worthwhile and have value. e. ____ ____ - ___________ ___________: to achieve goals. f. ________ ________ : a sense of identity. 2. As Christian counselors, we must add a _______ _______ need. a. The truth is, all of the above human needs could be met, and leave the person _____ _____ and unfulfilled. PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

b. Every person has the unmet need of ___ _________ until he comes to Christ as Savior.  John 15:5, “... for without me ye can do nothing.” V. How do we Counsel Anxiety? A. This is one of the most _________ _________ areas to counsel because its causes are often difficult to discover. B. Anxiety is also very __________ __________ . It causes others to be anxious including ___ ____ the counselor! C. The following are some steps to take to counsel in this area: 1. Recognize any _________ _________ in your own life first. When you are anxious in counseling, ask these questions: a. What in this _________ _________ is making me anxious? b. Is the counselee anxious about something that is making me anxious? c. What does my anxiety tell me about the ________ ________ ? 2. Demonstrate ____ ____. a. The biblical way to put off ____ ____ is to put on love. 1 John 4:18, “There is no fear in love: but perfect love casteth out fear; because fear hath torment.” b. The more fear – the less love; the more love – the less fear. c. Show _______ _______ love to the counselee and introduce them to the love of Christ. 3. Identify ______ ______. The root of anxiety is unbelief a. ___________ ___________ : Does the counselee show certain evidence of anxiety such as shifting positions or perspiration when certain issues are brought up? b. __________ __________ : Ask questions such as: When are you most anxious? When was the last time you were really afraid? What was happening at that moment? c. _____________ _____________ : Raise some of the issues that they have mentioned and see what their reaction is to them. PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

d. Remember, in any ___________ ___________, be patient. Too many questions or to push too fast will only increase the anxiety problem that you are trying to solve. 4. Encourage ______ ______. a. In most cases, the ______ ______ of anxiety cannot be removed. Therefore, they must be dealt with. b. Courage does not come in the absence of fear, but rather from an ability to move ahead even when one is afraid. c. Encourage the counselee to move _______ _______ the fear rather than around it. They can’t avoid it forever. d. They must see as their motivation the profit in becoming __________ __________ rather than simply trying to avoid the cause. 5. Give _______ _______ . a. Due to the problem, we must not be tense or impatient. b. Calmness, patience, and a supporting concern are keys in solving this problem. 6. Give them F.E.A.R. a. F aith in God and His Word – Isaiah 41:10; Luke 8:21-25; Mark 5:36 b. E xamine the Fear – Joshua 6 c. A ttack the Fear Head on – Daniel 3:16-18 d. R equest to God for help – Philippians 4:6; 1 Peter 5:7; Psalm 56:3 Conclusion: Anxiety is a result of man focusing on _______ _______ rather than on God’s promises. Over a period of time, anxiety can cause physical distress, panic attacks, depression and even _______ _______ . With God, nothing is __________ __________, and it is vital that the counselee be instructed to focus his or her attention on God. In a world of doubt, fear, depression, and discouragement, there must be a re-focus on God because with Him there is always a solution. There is always ____ ____. “Now unto him that is able PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us” (Ephesians 3:20). “I know that thou canst do every thing, and that no thought can be withholden from thee” (Job 42:2). “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” (Isaiah 41:10) PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

Lecture Six Loneliness Introduction: In Why be Lonely, Edward E. Ford states, “Loneliness is one of the most universal sources of human suffering.” Suzanne Gordon, in Lonely in America , says that loneliness is an “almost permanent condition for millions of Americans... knowing no limits of class, race, or age.” ________ ________ at some point in time goes through a period of loneliness which may last for a few minutes or a lifetime. I. The Definition of Loneliness A. The painful awareness that we lack meaningful ______________ with other people. 1. Sometimes one can be surrounded by human beings and activity and yet be lonely because they are not _________ _________ with any of them. a. A person can live in a large metropolitan area and not even know his neighbors by name. b. A person can attend a large church and yet not feel connected to anyone in that church. B. A feeling of inner _________ _________ that is accompanied by: 1. _______ _______ . 2. _____________ ______________ . 3. __________ ____________ . 4. An intense desire to be ______ ______ and ______ ______ by someone. C. Lonely people feel left-out, unwanted, or rejected even when they are surrounded by a crowd. D. Lonely people have a sense of ____________ _____________. Since nobody wants to be with me, I must not be worth much. E. There is a difference between loneliness and ________ ________ . PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

1. Solitude is a _________ _________ withdrawal from people. a. Solitude can be __________ __________, rejuvenating, and enjoyable. b. Jesus chose these times in His ministry for this purpose: Mark 1:35, “And in the morning, rising up a great while before day, he went out, and departed into a solitary place, and there prayed.” c. Solitude can be started and __________ __________ at will. 2. Loneliness comes when we are ______ ______ to be alone. a. It is painful, ________ ________, and unpleasant. b. It hangs on even when we do our best to cast it off. II. The Causes of Loneliness A. ______ ______ causes: People feel more and more isolated from people. Social influences that cause loneliness include: 1. __________ __________ : Government, business, and education have all become bigger and less personal. Relationships are more shallow and less needed. 2. ________ ________ : The ability to pick up and move is much easier today and more common – thus relationships do not have time to develop. People knowing that they may move are more reluctant to build a relationship that will have to be painfully separated later. 3. ____________ ____________ : People have moved closer together, but there is a fear of strangers that leads to suspicion and withdrawal. 4. __________ __________ : Not only does this consume a great amount of time away from relationships with people, but the relationships shown on the screen are often unreal and superficial. B. _____________ _____________ causes: 1. _________ _________ : Studies show that people, especially children, need close bonds with other human beings. When there is separation from those they are close to, loneliness exists. In an age of divorce and separated families, this problem becomes magnified. When one leaves, there is a “clinging” to the other. PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

2. __________ __________ : Parents communicate acceptance to their children in various ways: touching, listening, spending time, disciplining, etc. When these clues are missing, the child feels worthless and withdraws. Low self-esteem then develops and loneliness follows. 3. _________ _________ skills: We might label some people as “social misfits.” They have a difficult time with people. The harder they try the worse it seems to get. C. _____________ _____________ causes: 1. Low ____ ____ - ______ ______ : A person under-estimates his own worth and value. When we have no confidence in ourselves, it is difficult to build friendships with others. Weakness and shyness make a person extremely dependent on others. When those people are not around, there is loneliness. 2. Inability to ____________ ___________ : Sometimes there is an unwillingness to communicate while at other times there is a lack of skill in doing so. 3. Self-defeating _________ _________ : People can bring on loneliness themselves if they get caught up in intense competition, struggling for self-sufficiency, self-centered pre-occupation with themselves or their success, critical or intolerant of others, holding grudges, or demanding attention from others. These characteristics usually drive people away and thus create loneliness. 4. _________ _________ : Some people are innately angry which is often accompanied with complaining which in turn drives people away from them. 5. ____ ____ : Some people build walls around themselves instead of bridges. Reasons for this might be a fear of intimacy, a fear of being known, or a fear of rejection or being hurt. D. ___________ ____________ causes: 1. Being ______ 2. Being _______ 3. Living _____ 4. ________ ________ over a death or loss. 5. Being _______ _______ PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

6. Being a ______ ______ 7. _______ _______ students 8. ________ ________ people 9. Being __________ ___________ E. _________ _________ causes: 1. God created us for __________ __________ with Him. a. Sin broke that fellowship and God _________ ________ man. Until a person is restored through salvation into that fellowship with God, he will feel lonely.  Augustine once wrote, “Thou hast formed us for Thyself and our hearts are restless till they find rest in Thee.” b. Sin will cause the _________ _________ to feel lonely as well. i. Psalm 51:10-12, “Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.” ii. Isaiah 59:1-2, “Behold, the Lord’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; neither his ear heavy, that it cannot hear: but your iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid his face from you, that he will not hear.” III.The Effects of Loneliness A. How do we as counselors ______ ______ loneliness? What are the symptoms? Reactions and feelings are expressed in different ways, but some combination of the following will most likely be seen: 1. ________ ________ from others. Frequent futile attempts to reach out to others and then withdrawal will occur. 2. Poor ____ ____ - ______ ______ : A general feeling of worthlessness. 3. _______ ________ in relationships and activities. PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

4. _____________ _____________ and self-centeredness. A “poor-little- me” attitude. 5. ____________ ____________ and despair with thoughts of suicide. 6. _______ _______ and or _____ _____ are often a form of escape from the reality of loneliness. 7. ________ _______ : Lonely frustration leads to anger which manifests itself in destructive behavior. IV.Counseling Loneliness A. The counselee must first _____ _____ the problem. Admit the Problem 1. This can be _______ _______ because the connotation of admitting loneliness may also be to admit being a social misfit, being unattractive, or having a lack of worth, etc. 2. We should remind them that everyone (including people listed earlier in the Bible) go through _______ _______ of loneliness. B. We must counsel the ______ ______. Causes Pinpoint 1. Go over with the counselee the causes listed earlier. 2. Once the cause is determined, we can then deal with the ____ ____ of the problem and not just the symptoms or the results. C. We must accept the things that cannot be _______ _______. Accept the Permanent 1. A handicap or the loss of a loved one cannot be changed. 2. The ________ ________ about these things, however, can change. a. Develop an _____ _____ life. i. Get some positive interests, develop a sense of humor, appreciate the good things in life. ii. “Positive thinking” rejects feelings of self-pity and encourages a willingness to see the bright side of life. b. Develop a _________ ________ of keeping in touch. PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

i. Avoiding relationships with others develops into a life of __________ __________. ii. Work, play, activities, worship, etc. are all needed to stay in touch with other people. c. Religious _____ _____ helps people see life in its “whole.” (a) The big picture of _____ _____ plan for now and eternity will help people get their minds off their temporary problems. D. ________ ________ what can be changed. Change the Possibilities 1. Some causes of loneliness cannot be changed, as we have seen, but it is obvious that many situations can be altered. People can watch less television, start going to church, spend more time with their family, etc. a. _________ ___________ self-esteem. i. Help people see their strengths, _____ _____, and abilities. Romans 12:3,6, “For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith. Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given unto us...” ii. Help them see the dangers of _________ ________ themselves to others. 2 Corinthians 10:12, “...but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.” iii. Help them to see that God sees every person as ________ ________. Colossians 2:10, “And ye complete in him...” b. Taking _____ _____. i. Identify “who” would be good for this person and in “what” situation. After the death of Sarah, Abraham realized that it was time for Isaac to have a wife. ii. Help them plan activities that include ______ ______. PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

c. Learn some new ______ ______. i. Learning something new gives you an ___ ___ with some new people that you want to be with. ii. Learning skills in communication and relationship building builds confidence with people. E. Meeting the _________ _________ need Acknowledge the Person of Christ 1. God is a real person and His ________ ________ can be sensed. a. Romans 8:15, “For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry Abba, Father.” b. Romans 8:3, “What shall we say then to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?” c. Romans 8:35, “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?” d. 1 John 4:13, “Hereby know we that we dwell in him, and he in us, because he hath given us his Spirit.” e. Proverbs 18:24, “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.” F. Connect with the people of God 1. One of the greatest ways to help people with loneliness is to get them into the _____ _____ church and its activities. There is a common bond there in Christ that links people of all kinds of backgrounds and interests together. 2. A person’s primary need is always _________ _________ . Helping them to develop an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ and then with God’s people in the environment of the local church will go a long way in conquering loneliness Conclusion: A – C – A – C – A – C For overcoming and changing behavior biblically toward loneliness Admit the problem PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

Locate the problem Overcome by changes Notice the need for Christ Enter into relationship with God’s People PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

Lecture Seven Guilt Introduction: Guilt is the function of your conscience acting as a courtroom to determine __________ from __________. Guilt is the ______________ of your conscience indicating there is a wrong you have done. Before studying this important area of counseling, you must be aware of three guidelines: 1. All guilt comes from the conscience, therefore: discover its purpose. 2. Guilt can be good or bad, therefore: discern its source – from the Holy Spirit, or the accuser of the brethren. 3. We will all try to resolve it one way or another, therefore: develop a biblical habit of dealing with it. Psalm 139:23-24; 1 John 1:9; Proverbs 28:13. I. What the Bible says about Guilt A. ___________ ____________ sorrow 1. 2 Corinthians 7:8-10, “For though I made you sorry with a letter, I do not repent, though I did repent: for I perceive that the same epistle hath made you sorry, though it were but for a season. Now I rejoice, not that ye were made sorry, but that ye sorrowed to repentance: for ye were made sorry after a godly manner, that ye might receive damage by us in nothing. For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.” a. This passage contrasts _______ _______ sorrow which is equivalent to guilt feelings and sorrow that is according to the ____ ____ of God. b. This latter sorrow is constructive because it leads to constructive ______ ______ . B. Divine __________ __________. 1. 1 Peter 2:24, “Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.” PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

a. The reason Jesus Christ came was so that sinful human beings could be forgiven and ________ ________ to a complete fellowship with God. b. To receive forgiveness, two essential elements are necessary: i. __________ __________ of sin. 1 John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Proverbs 28:13, “He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.” ii. ___________ ___________ to forgive others. Matthew 6:12, “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” Matthew 18:21-22, “Then came Peter to him and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, until seven times: but, until seventy times seven.” II. The Causes of Guilt A. As stated earlier, people come for counseling due to subjective guilt rather than objective guilt. The feelings of this guilt usually have their ______ ______ in one or more of the following: 1. Past ________ ________ and unrealistic personal ___________ ___________.  High standards set by parents or a church which are difficult to _____ _____ . i. Often these are accompanied by little ______ ______ and constant ____________ ____________ which produces the guilt feelings. ii. _______________ ______________ as adults become workaholics because they feel guilty for not doing more or better. iii. ____ ____ is the tool to use to motivate. Guilt is the worst motivational tool anyone can use. 2. ___________ ___________ and social pressure PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

a. This stems from _________ _________ which in turn leads to the person becoming very critical themselves. b. It is often very difficult to distinguish between guilt and inferiority. Guilt produces inferiority and inferiority produces guilt. A vicious _____ _____ takes place. 3. Faulty __________ __________ development a. Conscience is built on divinely given principles placed in our ______ ______ . Romans 2:15, “Which shew the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness, and their thoughts the mean while accusing or else excusing one another.” b. Conscience can be dulled or ______ ______ by sin. 1 Timothy 4:2, “Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron.” c. Conscience can be weakened or _________ ___________. 1 Corinthians 8:10-12, “For if a man see thee which hast knowledge sit at meat in the idol’s temple, shall not the conscience of him which is weak be emboldened to eat those things which are offered to idols; And through thy knowledge shall the weak brother perish, for whom Christ died? But when ye sin so against the brethren, and wound their weak conscience, ye sin against Christ.” d. Conscience can be __________ __________ by the actions and teachings of others. 1 Corinthians 10:28-29, “But if a man say unto you, This is offered in sacrifice unto idols, eat not for his sake that shewed it, and for conscience sake: for the earth is the Lord’s and the fulness thereof: Conscience, I say, not thine own, but of the other: for why is my liberty judged of another man’s conscience?” e. Ideally, a child’s conscience is developed early in life at ____ ____ as he learns right from wrong and with it praise and criticism.  As the child is saved, he moves from doing right and wrong just to avoid punishment or earn praise, to his own ________ ________ convictions based on what he believes is right from God’s Word. 4. ____________ ____________ influences a. Awareness of guilt can come from the __________ __________ of the Holy Spirit. PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

i. John 16:8, “And when he is come, he will reprove the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment.” ii. John 16:13, “Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come.” iii. John 14:26, “But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.” iv. This prompting, if acted on will produce _________ _________ and ______ ______. b. _____ _____ can also produce guilt feelings. i. Revelation 12:10, “And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of the brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night.” ii. Response to those feelings will bring further ___________ ___________ and _______ ______. III.The Effects of Guilt A. Objective guilt brings a variety of ____________ ____________:  Breaking civil laws leads to arrest and conviction. B. Social guilt often brings _________ _________ from others. C. Theological guilt brings certain punishment from _____________ ___ . Romans 6:23, “For the wages of sin is death...” D. Since most of our counseling deals with subjective guilt, let’s look at the various effects of this type of guilt: 1. _________ _________ reactions a. _______ _______ of others b. __________ __________ from others PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

c. ____________ _____ d. ______ ______ of any wrong doing 2. Self - ____________ ____________ reactions a. _______ _______ b. ___________ ___________ c. _________ __________ d. __________ __________ e. Self - __________ __________ - martyr complex f. __________ __________ even leading to suicide 3. ______ ______ reactions a. __________ __________ from people b. ________ _______ of people 4. ________ ________ reactions  The body eventually weakens and breaks down in some manner. 5. __________ __________ and ___________ ___________. (1 John 1:9) a. ______ _______ the mistake b. _________ ________ it as sin c. ________ ________ forgiveness d. _____ _____ as a result of it IV.Counseling Guilt A. _____________ ____________ and __________ _________ 1. People with guilt condemn __________ __________ and expect to be condemned by others. 2. Notice Jesus’ example in John 8:3-11, “And the scribes and Pharisees brought to him a woman taken in adultery; and when PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

they had set her in the midst, They said unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses commanded that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou? This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not. So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground. And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. When Jesus lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.” 3. Jesus did not _______ _______ her sin, but He spoke kindly to her and told her to “sin no more.” B. _______ _____________ 1. To gain insight into the problem of guilt, it may be necessary to ask some questions such as these: a. What were your _______ _______ expectations of right and wrong? b. What happened when you ______ ______? c. Have you ever experienced __________ ___________? d. Were you punished or criticized often? e. What did your church teach about right and wrong? f. What did your church say would ______ ______ if you failed? g. ____ __________ makes you feel guilty now? 2. Sometimes the counselee is trying to accomplish something that is __________ __________. C. _________ _________ 1. God knows that we are _______ _______ . 1 John 1:8, “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.” PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

2. ___________ ___________ has been provided. 1 Peter 3:18, “For Christ also hath once suffered for sins, the just for the unjust, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh, but quickened by the Spirit.” D. __________ __________ and forgiveness.  This sounds ______ ______, but it is the basis of Christianity. Conclusion: The Final Formula for Fixing Guilt: 1. Confess your sin – which involves: a. Acknowledgement of sin b. Admission of wrong c. Asking for forgiveness 2. Take responsibility for Sin 3. Repent by Fleeing Fighting and Fearing the sin 4. Rely on the Holy Spirit We must never __________ God’s standards for living. At the same time, no one can reach sinless perfection. As Christians, we are ________ ________ completely by God and forgiven unconditionally. Because God forgives, we are forgiven, our guilt is removed and a way is provided to deal with the feelings of guilt. Here is where we as Christian counselors have a huge advantage over our secular counterparts and any advice that they can offer. How to handle guilt: G ________ ________ confession of your sins U ________ ________ what you did wrong I ________ ________ a responsibility for your sins L ________ ________ repentance take place T ________ ________ reliance on the Holy Spirit PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

Lecture Eight Depression I. Defining Depression A. The constant state of not being able to move on from an unfulfilled expectation. It stems from the wrong handling of disappointment(s) in life. Prolonged unbelief and doubt about God’s sovereign good hand in a person’s life leads to a depressive state. This prolonged state may produce a chemical imbalance that causes depression in a person’s mind. B. _____ ___________ of depression include: 1. _______ _______ 2. ______ ______ 3. Loss of ______ ______ 4. _______ _______ C. These signs are accompanied by: 1. __________________ 2. __________________ 3. __________________ 4. __________________ 5. Self - _________ _________ 6. Loss of _______ _______ at work, in marriage, and activities 7. Difficulty in __________ _____________ 8. Inability to __________ _____ pleasurable events and activities 9. Loss of ________ ________ D. Depression can occur at any _________ ____ , even in infancy. E. There are several types of depression: PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

1. ________ ________ depression  This is a reaction to a real or imagined ____ __________ or other life trauma. 2. __________ __________ depression  This arises _____________ ____________ from within and is most commonly found among elderly people. 3. _________ _________ depression  This is intense despair and self-destructive attitudes, often accompanied by hallucinations and loss of contact with _______ _______. 4. ________ ________ depression  This is mixed with high levels of anxiety 5. Some depression is _______ _______ which is long-lasting and resistant to treatment. 6. Other depression is _____ _____ which is intense but short-lived and often self-correcting. F. Most professionals differentiate all of these types of depression from _____________ _______________.  Discouragement would be defined as a mild and usually ________ _________ mood swing which comes in response to disappointments, failures, and losses. II. What does the Bible say about Depression? A. Depression is a ________ ________ word and is not found in the Scriptures. There are, however, many passages that imply this problem. 1. Psalms 69, 88, and 102 are all songs of _______ _______ . a. It should be noted that each of them are written in the context of ____ ____ . b. In Psalm 43:5, David expresses both despair and rejoicing, “Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why are thou disquieted within me? hope in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance and my God.” PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

B. The Bible lists several other individuals who went through periods of depression: 1. ___ ___ : In Job 3 we find him cursing the day in which he was born due to the losses he had suffered. 2. _____ _____ : In Numbers 11:10-15, Moses is displeased because the burden of a rebellious people has been placed upon his shoulders. 3. _____ _____ : Jonah 4:1-3 shows him angry and wishing to die because God did not destroy Nineveh. 4. The children of Israel are in “anguish of spirit” in Exodus 6:9 due to the cruel bondage they were under. 5. _____ _____ : Matthew 26:75 tells us that he “went out and wept bitterly” after denying the Lord. 6. ______ ______ in 1 Kings 19 wishes to die because Jezebel is trying to kill him, and he assumes that he is the only one left on the Lord’s side. 7. ________ ________ is called the weeping prophet and writes an entire book called “Lamentations.” 8. We must also consider __________ , and while we know that He did not sin, we see His sorrow in Matthew 26:38, “Then saith he unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death: tarry ye here, and watch with me.” C. The Bible shows us this side of humanity, but the emphasis is always on the ____ ____ than can be found rather than on the despair.  Romans 15:13, “Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.” III.What Causes Depression? A. Physical - _______ _______ causes 1. Lack of _________ _____ 2. Improper ________ ____ 3. Effects of _________ _____ PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

4. Low blood _____ _____ and other chemical malfunctioning. 5. Brain ______ ______ 6. Glandular _________ _______  Samuel H. Kraines, in Help for the Depressed, states, “No matter how good one’s philosophy, no matter how well adjusted one has been, and no matter how ideal the environment may be, when there is a loss of hypothalamic energy, the person is depressed, feels helpless, and has no energy... only a return of the normal neurohormonal energy in the hypothalamus can effect a resolution of the depressive mood.” B. _________ _________ causes 1. According to research, children who are ________ ________ of a warm human relationship will show apathy, poor health, and sadness. 2. Parents who blatantly or subtly make comments that they ______ _____ having their children. 3. Status-seeking families who set ____________ ___________ goals for their children that are unable to be met. C. Learned ____________ ____________ 1. Depression often comes when we encounter situations over which we have no _______ _______ . a. A grieving person can do nothing to bring back a loved one. b. A student just doesn’t have the _______ _______ to succeed academically. c. An older person who cannot turn back the _____ _____ of time and restore physical and mental capacities. D. Negative ________ ________ 1. Very little effort is needed to fall into a _______ _______ of always looking on the dark side of things in life rather than on the positive. 2. Aaron Beck, in Depression: Causes and Treatment , says that depressed people show negative thinking in three areas: PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

a. The world and life is seen in a ______ ______ of burdens, obstacles, and defeats in a society that is “going down the drain.” b. They see __________ __________ in a negative way: inadequate, unworthy, or incapable of performing certain tasks. This leads to self-blame and self-pity. c. They see the ______ ______ in a negative way: continued frustration, hopelessness, and hardship. 3. Sometimes a person will express negatives about themselves in order to receive a __________ __________. a. “I did so badly!” They are hoping, of course, that someone will say, “Oh no, you did well.” b. This does not solve the problem that exists in their hearts. 4. Some people think negatively because then they are less likely to be ____________ ____________ if their thoughts come true.  “I’m just going to plan on the worst.” E. Life __________ ______ 1. Stress is known to cause depression, particularly if that stress involves a ____ ____ of something such as an opportunity, a job, a status, health, freedom, a contest, a possession, etc.  This also includes the loss of ______ ______: death, divorce, prolonged separation, etc. F. ___________ _____ 1. The oldest and most ______ ______ cause of depression is anger that is turned inward toward oneself. 2. Children are often not allowed to _______ _______ their anger at home or school, and in fact are punished if they do, so they keep it inside and depression results. 3. ________ ________ condemn anger as a sin and so again it is often not dealt with properly. 4. People have personal convictions about anger and thus _________ ____ those emotions and cover them.  An example might be a widow, who would never admit it, but they are angry that their spouse died and left them alone to raise the children and support themselves. PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

5. All of this kind of anger _______ _______ inside and eventually leads to depression. a. ________ ____ is the first emotion that is felt. b. ________ _____ is the second emotion which hides the first. c. _______ _______ follows and hides the hurt and the anger. d. This revenge then comes out in one of three forms i. ___________ ___________ action ii. Psychosomatic ________ ________ iii. __________ __________ G. Roger Barrett, in Depression: What is it and What to do about it, ” says, “Resentment... is the accumulation of unexpressed anger. And, resentment... is the most destructive emotion in the human relationships and in personal wellbeing... Some depressed clients...wallow in depression as a means of hurting others, as if the depression itself becomes an indirect expression of hostility. It’s almost as if they were saying, ‘I’m depressed, and there’s nothing you can do about it, but it’s all your fault, and if you don’t give me attention and sympathy, I may even get more depressed or do something desperate.’ It’s kind of psychological blackmail. Suicide attempts (which most often occur in depressed people) not infrequently have this characteristic. There’s a kind of ‘see what you made me do’ or ‘now you’ll miss me’ quality to the notes or communications surrounding the tragedy. They blame others for their bad feelings.” IV.The Effects of Depression A. Often people for a short time at least, feel like depression serves a ______ ______ purpose. 1. It enables them to avoid _______________ ________________. 2. Where performance is not up to par, it saves ____ _________. “I was just depressed.” 3. It attracts _________ _________. 4. It provides an ______ ______ for inactivity. B. Eventually, however, the effects of this problem are much more negative: PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

1. ____________ ___________ : Depressed people feel “blue,” hopeless, self-critical, and miserable. 2. ____________ __________ : Depressed people become indecisive, and have little energy for even the simple things in life like getting out of bed in the morning. 3. __________ ______ reactions: They try to hide their emotions even from themselves, but it manifests itself in the following ways: a. __________ __________ actions b. ______ ______ outbursts c. _________ _________ behavior such as gambling, drinking, immorality, or compulsive work. d. They may be smiling on the outside, but inwardly they are deeply hurting. 4. __________ __________ a. There is a desire to avoid ______ ______ . b. Excessive ___________ ___________. c. An ______ ______ into a world of television, novels, video games, alcohol, or drugs. 5. _______ _______ a. This is the most ________ ________ way for a person to escape. b. Suicide attempts usually seek to accomplish one of the following: i. A cry for ____ _________. ii. An opportunity for _______ _______. iii. A manipulative gesture designed to _________ _________ some other person. V. How Should We Counsel Depression? A. Be ________ ________ and take the lead. 1. Most depressed people have given up and have an ________ ________ of “what’s the use?” PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

2. The counselor must be more __________ __________ in counseling this area than in other types of problems. a. Ask _________ _________. b. Encourage them to ____ ____ and open up. c. Give periodic ___________ ___________. d. Share _________ _________ that is uplifting, encouraging, and gives hope. 3. In counseling depression, the counselor should _____ _____ confrontation, probing, and demands for action in the beginning stages. B. ______ ______ carefully once they begin to open up and talk. Watch for: 1. Anger, hurt, negative thinking, poor self-esteem, and guilt. 2. Listen when they talk about losses, failures, rejection, etc. C. ________ ________ these causes 1. Where there is low self-esteem, help them to ______ ______ their attitude about themselves by showing them their value to God. 2. Where there is a learned helplessness, help them to __________ __________ some worthwhile project. 3. Where there is negative thinking, help them to view the situation from a ________ ________ perspective. 4. Where there is stress as a result of a loss, show them characters from the Bible (Job, Paul, Jesus) who went on in spite of this _________ _________. 5. Where there is revenge covering the anger, or anger covering the hurt, these need to be _________ _________ and expressed so that they can be properly dealt with. D. Very often, when the counselor shows a genuine interest, concern, and understanding, it leads to change and __________ ___________.  People are usually at the core of the depression somewhere and so it takes a ______ ______ to help them come out of this problem. E. _________ _________ realistic thinking. PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

1. The counselee needs to understand that we are all sinners and thus we will all _________ ____ at some point.  We do not need to become angry, frustrated, or depressed, however, when we do. There is always a solution and hope. 2. To change ________ ________ we must change our thinking and our actions. a. Encourage activities, routines, recreation, etc. that the person is likely to _______ _______ in. b. Give _____________ _____________ and ___________ ___________. F. Change the ___________ ___________. 1. The circumstances that produce depression are difficult to change completely. Some steps that will help are: a. Modify their ________ ________. b. Reduce their ____ ____ load. c. Take periodic ______ ______ or time off from the environment that is causing the depressive emotions. G. _______ _______ the counselee from self-harm. 1. Help people to avoid making life-changing ________ _________ while depressed, such as changing jobs, divorce, quitting school, leaving the church, etc. 2. Help them to see the long-range _______ _______ of those decisions. 3. Urge them to ____ ________ on the Lord. 4. Be alert for indications of _______ _______. Any of the following “could” be signs of contemplated suicide and should be taken seriously, especially when the person is depressed: a. _________ ____ of suicide (even if it is in a joking manner). b. Evidence of a thought out ____ _________ for killing themselves. c. Feelings of hopelessness or meaninglessness. d. Indications of _________ _____ or worthlessness. PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

e. Recent ____________ ____________ stresses (loss of job, divorce, or a death in the family). f. An inability to cope with ______ ______. g. Excessive concern about a ________ ________ illness. h. Preoccupation with ________ ________. i. Evidence of disorientation, depression, and or defiance j. A tendency to be ________ _________ and ____________ ____________ at the same time. k. A sudden shift to a _________ _____, cheerful mood (this may indicate that the decision has been made to end their life). l. _________ _________ of the most effective ways to kill oneself. m. A _______ _______ of prior suicide attempts. 5. Never be _______ _______ to bring up the suicide issue and talk about it. Often discussion _______ _______ its likelihood. 6. Expect _______ _______. a. If a person really wants to kill themselves, no one is going to be able to stop them. (Judas Iscariot committed suicide not long after Jesus lovingly called him “Friend. . .”) b. Be _________ _________, and if they call you and threaten to commit suicide, call 911 and get help immediately. The Final Biblical Cure for Depression: 1 Samuel 30:1-9 The Proper handling of a disappointment (unfulfilled expectation) Wrong handling: Doubt about God  Discouraged about possibilities  Depressed with outcome  Despair over situation  Death by suicide. Right handling: Focus on who God is Faith back in God’s Word Foot back in God’s path (Go forward) PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

Lecture Nine Anger Introduction: Wrong anger is often the ____ ____ of a host of psychological, physical, and spiritual problems. Anger is considered to be the leading reason for misery, depression, inefficiency, sickness, accidents, loss of work time, and financial losses in our culture today. I. The Definition of Anger A. Anger is the emotional energy of displeasure given to solve a problem or sin. B. Anger is an _________ _________ state and is very broad in its definition: 1. It can _____ _____ from mild annoyance to violent rage. 2. Anger can occur in any _________ ___ from infants to senior citizens. 3. It can be hidden or expressed very openly. 4. Anger can exist for a very long ________ ________ of time in the form of bitterness, resentment, or hatred. 5. Anger can be very ___________ ___________ if it takes the form of aggression, unforgiveness, or revenge. 6. Anger can be ____________ ____________ if it causes the person to correct something or begin thinking properly. C. Anger is aroused when our ________ ________ toward some goal is blocked. D. Anger usually has some ________ ________ reaction. II. What does the Bible say about Anger? A. Divine wrath and human anger are mentioned nearly ______ ______ times in the Old Testament alone. 1. Divine wrath PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

a. Divine wrath is vigorous, intense, consistent, controlled, and an expression of indignation at _______________ _______________ . b. Divine wrath is directed at sin and _______ _______. i. Psalm 95:10-11, “Forty years long was I grieved with this generation, and said, It is a people that do err in their heart, and they have not known my ways. Unto whom I sware in my wrath that they should not enter into my rest.” ii. Mark 3:5, “And when he had looked round about on them with anger, being grieved for the hardness of their hearts.” c. Divine wrath is currently __________ __________ in order to give men a chance to repent.  Isaiah 48:9, “For my name’s sake will I defer mine anger; and for my praise will I refrain for thee, that I cut thee not off.” d. Most of the Divine wrath is still to be seen.  Romans 2:5, “But after thy hardness and impenitent heart treasurest up unto thyself wrath against the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God.” e. God sees every situation perfectly and always responds ________ ________. He advises us to do the same.  Ephesians 4:26, “Be ye angry and sin not.” B. Human anger is a ______ ______ emotion and not necessarily sinful.  We are created in the _____ _____ of God and have been given our emotions, including anger. C. Human anger can of course be ______ ______. 1. In The Christian Counselor’s Manual , Jay Adams states, “Righteous anger can become unrighteous anger in two ways: (1) by the ventilation of anger; (2) by the internalization of anger. These two opposite extremes are known more popularly as blowing up and clamming up . When one blows up, his emotional energies are aimed and fired at someone else. When he clams up, bodily tensions are released within oneself. In both cases the emotional energies of anger are wasted. In both, they PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

are used destructively. In neither instance are they used constructively to solve the problems. 2. Because of its harmful potential, anger is often ________ _________ in the Scriptures. a. Ecclesiastes 7:9, “Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.” b. In the book of Proverbs, anger is commended _________ ____ and condemned _____ _________ times. D. Anger often results from distorted ___________ __________. 1. God’s anger is always a righteous indignation to an unrighteous _________ _________. 2. Human anger is a righteous indignation to unrighteousness in ___ ________ eyes. 3. Because we are _________ _________ , we often respond to situations according to our own perception. E. Human anger often leads to __________ ___. 1. _________ _________ is clearly condemned in Scripture because vengeance belongs solely to God.  Romans 12:19, “Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves; but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.” 2. Verbal _____ _____ is also condemned.  Proverbs 29:20, “Seest thou a man that is hasty in his words? there is more hope for a fool than of him.” F. Human anger can be __________ ___________. 1. Proverbs 15:28, “The heart of the righteous studieth to answer: but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things.” 2. Jesus provides a great example as stated in 1 Peter 2:23: “Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not, but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously.” III.The Causes of Anger PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

A. Most anger is caused by ______ ______ (what someone does or says) rather than by a circumstance or event. 1. _________ _________ a. This is perhaps the _____ _____ common cause but would perhaps be the only one that is justifiable. 2. ___________ ___________ a. Frustration is an ________ ________ toward a goal. It can be another person, a physical barrier, or an event. b. How frustrated we get is determined by the importance of the goal. 3. Threat and ____ ____ a. When a person is rejected, put down, humiliated, or unjustly criticized, anger is aroused. b. In How to Help a Friend, Paul Welter says, “Anger and hurt always go together. Often, the anger comes so quickly upon being hurt that the hurt is overlooked.” 4. Learning a. To some degree, anger is a learned behavior as we watch ______ ______ get angry. IV.The Effects of Anger A. __________ __________ 1. The person will ______ ______ themselves from the situation by simply leaving the room or to the extreme of taking a vacation. 2. _________ ________ the problem by plunging into work, watching television, playing video games, or some other diversion. 3. ______ ______ the problem by taking drugs or drinking. 4. _______ _______ that the anger exists. B. Turning ______ ______ 1. Covering anger on the outside and keeping it within can produce: a. ________ ________ problems – headaches, ulcers, etc. PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

b. _____________ _____________ reactions – anxiety, fear, tension, and depression c. Unconscious attempts to ____ ________ oneself – accident prone, mistakes, and suicide d. Wrong ________ ________ - self-pity, revenge, etc. e. _________ _________ struggles – bitterness, clamor, slander, etc. C. Attacking a __________ __________ 1. Blaming ________ ________ people when things go wrong a. This is often the case when the ______ ______ of the frustration is not identified b. Work problems get taken out on those at home, or government problems get taken out on society, etc. D. Facing the _______ _______ of anger. 1. This can be both destructive and constructive. a. Destructive anger can be taken out against the source in verbal or physical __________ __________ , ridicule, refusal to cooperate, cynicism, etc. b. Constructive anger sees the cause and tries to produce a ______ ______. V. Counseling Anger A. Help the counselee to _____ _____ the problem of anger. 1. Anger that is ______ ______ cannot be __________ __________ . 2. Point out that this emotion is God-given. 3. At least get them to acknowledge that the ___________ ___________ of anger exists. B. Consider the _______ _______ of their anger by asking questions: 1. What makes you really angry? 2. When is the last time you got really mad? What happened? PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

3. Watch for _______ _______ : my personality, it runs in my family, or “I’m Irish,” etc. C. Teach the art of __________ __________ . Again, a series of questions can help: 1. What is making me feel angry? 2. Why am I feeling anger and not some other emotion? 3. Am I jumping to ___________ ___________ about the situation or person who is making me angry? 4. Is my anger _________ _________ ? 5. Is it right for me to feel inferior or threatened in this anger- arousing situation? 6. How might others, including the person who is making me angry, view this situation? 7. Is there another way for me to look at this situation? 8. Are there things I can do to ______ ______ the situation in order to reduce my anger? D. Emphasize three important qualities: 1. ________ ________ : Admitting that we have lost control is never easy, but nothing can change until we do. 2. __________ __________ : The Bible emphasizes the importance of this to God in 1 John 1:9, but also to ___ __________ in James 5:16, “Confess your faults one to another.” 3. ___________ ___________ : Jesus instructed us to forgive __________ __________ (seventy times seven). a. Forgiveness is necessary in order for us to feel forgiven ourselves. b. While forgiving an injustice is extremely _______________ , it is always possible with God’s help (Philippians 4:13). E. Teach self-_______ _______ . 1. When people get angry, it is not the anger that they ______ ______ later, but rather what they say or do in response that brings destruction. PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

a. Slowing one’s _________ _________ : i. Count to ten. ii. Speak slowly. iii. Keep your voice low. iv. Mentally relax. Proverbs 15:1, “A soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.” b. Dealing with the feelings of ___________ ___________ : i. Hostility and anger are usually a result of being made to feel less superior. ii. Milton Layden, in Escaping the Hostility Trap , states, “Whenever anyone belittles, acts superior, or is hostile to you, think of who or what’s bugging him . No matter how great the provocation or how obnoxious a person seems, your awareness of the forces responsible for any person’s behavior will help you feel less inferior and thus, less hostile.” c. Avoid an angry mindset. i. Don’t look for the _____ _____ in every situation. (The sky is falling.) ii. Look for _________ _________ in everything instead of negatives. d. ______________ _______ spiritually i. Self-control is a _____ _____ of the Spirit. Galatians 5:18-25, “But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance, against such there is no law. And they that are Christ’s have crucified PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.” ii. Philippians 4:4-7, “Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say rejoice. Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand. Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” F. What about _________ _________ ? 1. This is the popular idea of “letting off _____ _____ as an approach to dealing with anger. 2. There is no _________ __________ proof that letting off steam solves the problems, and there is no __________ __________ basis for it either. 3. In fact, expressions of anger have been found through studies to ________ ________ rather than decrease hostility. Conclusion: Use this acrostic to have victory over the wrong anger: A – Anticipate things that get you upset N – Narrate your situation to God G – Give up personal rights E – Examine all the facts before getting upset R – Redirect your energy into a solution Jonah 4; Ephesians 4:26; James 1:19 PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

Lecture Ten Inferiority - The Right View Of You Introduction: If you had a magic wand that you could use to change anything in your life, what would you change? Remember, before you make a change, God might have a _____________________ why He brought that into your life or made you that way. Inferiority is getting your worth from the _____________________. Superiority is getting your worth from your flesh. How do you view yourself? 1. A Definition of Inferiority: Viewing yourself as having little or no _____________________ compared to others. A. There are three terms that help us in our definition:  Self-concept  Self-image  Self-esteem B. Self-concept and self-image have to do with the _____________________ we have of ourselves.  What we would consider our strengths and weaknesses, our character traits, personality, and physical features.  Included would be the thoughts, attitudes, and feelings that we have about ourselves. C. Self-esteem is something _____________________.  This is our evaluation of our _____________________, our competence and our significance.  Self-image and self-concept involve a self-description, while self- esteem is a self-evaluation. 2. What Does the Bible Say About Self-Esteem and Inferiority? A. The Bible emphasizes that human beings have _____________________ to God. PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

 Even after man sinned, God says in Psalm 8:5, “For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honour.”  God sent His only ____________________ to die for us so that we could live forever with Him. (John 3:16)  We were created for His _____________________. “...for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.” (Revelation 4:11) B. Because of Adam’s sin, all men are sinners and therefore alienated from God and deserving of _________________ forever. (Romans 5:12)  In this fallen state, God still loves and _____________________ us.  Sin _____________________ our relationship with God, but it does not destroy the fact that in God’s sight we are His creation and worthy of redemption. 3. The Causes of Inferiority and Low Self-Esteem A. Faulty _____________________  Some have been taught that as human beings we are worthless to God.  Some teach that ________________ makes us insignificant to God. B. _____________________  When we _____________________ God’s standard of right and wrong, we are going to feel guilt, remorse, and disappointment in ourselves.  This contributes to our _____________________ and erodes proper self-esteem. C. Past _____________________ from failures D. Parent-child __________________________  Most experts agree that low self-esteem most frequently begins early in life, at _____________________.  When there is _____________________ criticism, shame, rejection, and scolding without any affirmative of worth, the child will dislike himself in direct proportion to the criticism he has received.  Inferiority develops when: PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

- There are _________________________ standards and goals. - The expectation is that the child will __________________. - There is rare praise, encouragement, compliments, and emotional support. - Punishment is harsh and repeatedly done without proper explanation. - It is _____________________ that the child is a nuisance, stupid, or incompetent. - There is little or no cuddling, hugging, or affectionate touching. - The child is _____________-______________________ and dominated so that he fails later when he is forced to live life on his own. E. _____________________ influences Media, schools, government, and society in general give the impression that a person’s worth depends on his intelligence, physical attractiveness, education, money, power, and achievements. 4. Effects of Inferiority and Low Self-Esteem Inferiority produces a myriad of actions, attitudes and emotions which include:  A feeling of _____________________  A feeling of being too _____________________ to overcome their deficiencies, lacking drive to succeed or to defend themselves  Difficulty in getting along with others  Jealous and _____________________ of others  Self-criticism, self-hatred, and self-rejection.  _____________________  A drive to gain control, power, or superiority over others  An inability to _________________ compliments or expressions of love PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

5. Counseling Inferiority A. Give the _____________________ perspective of self-esteem.  We will get nowhere if the counselee is convinced that inferiority is the same as _____________________ and that self-esteem is the same as sinful pride.  The counselee must be shown that self-condemnation is both _____________________ and wrong. B. Encourage self-disclosure and a _____________________ self-evaluation.  When a person shares himself-concept, feedback can be positive and show _____________________. - Do not allow the counselee, however, to disclose the negative in order to receive a _____________________. Saying, “I can’t do anything right,” in order to hear, “Oh yes you can, you did a great job,” does not solve the problem.  Help the counselee to make a _________________ of strengths and weaknesses. - _____________________ that list and show evidence as to why something should or should not be on that list. - Emphasize the strengths and show how those areas can be put to better _____________. C. Stimulate _____________________ setting.  Long-range goals seem overwhelming and unattainable, and the person struggling with inferiority refuses to try.  Short-term goals give a sense of _______________________ toward a long-term project.  The more the counselee accomplishes, no matter how small, the more his self-image will improve. D. Avoid destructive __________________________.  ________________. Any known sin in our life should be repented of and forsaken. Sin creates guilt, self-condemnation, depression, and a low self-esteem. PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

 The inability to _____________________ - The counselee must first forgive _____________________. - Vengeance is never our responsibility. - It is only with __________________ help that we can forgive. E. Give them V.I.E.W V iew of God Exodus 3:11-14 I dentity in Christ Ephesians 1:3-7, 11- 12, 17-19 E xpect God to use you 1 Samuel 17:37 Joshua 10:12-14, 25 W orth based on God’s promises and your obedience Psalm 119:165 Proverbs 28:1 Proverbs 29:25 Conclusion: For the unsaved person who views man as simply a well-developed ___________________, there is no basis on which to develop dignity and worth. For the Christian, however, we believe that our human worth comes from the love, words, and actions of ______________, our Creator. If a counselee is not saved, this is again the place where we must start. We must show them from God’s Word that God loves sinners and wants to save them eternally. When a person sees that God loves him and has a plan for his life, he will be well on his way to conquering his inferiority. For a Christian who is plagued by low self-esteem and inferiority, the local church can be a great place to “get some wins” under his belt. Involving the counselee in PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

areas where he can see God bless him is a wonderful way to build a proper self- image. Counseling inferiority is never easy and never quick. Time is needed for ____________________ to be built and maintained. Everyone fails at times, but as Proverbs 24:16 reminds us, “The just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again.” PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

Lecture Eleven Sexual Issues Introduction: Sex _________ _________ our culture today. It is the driving force on television, in magazines, in advertisement, in literature, music, the theater, movies, art, and even everyday conversation. The __________ __________ lifestyle has become more and more acceptable and admired. Not only must we deal with the problems of pre-marital and extra-marital relationships, but we also face the issues of homosexuality, rape, transvestism, incest, child molestation, masturbation, and even bestiality. It will be impossible to give adequate time in one lecture to all of these areas and further research will be necessary to obtain all of the necessary tools in counseling these areas. Since this is an introductory course, we will do our best to introduce the counselor to some of the basic issues and how to deal with them. I. The Bible and Sex Apart from Marriage A. While the physical relationship was created by God for procreation, there is more to the sexual act than ________ ________ instincts and biological creation. 1. Lewis B. Smeades, in Sex for Christians , writes, “Sexuality throbs within us as movement toward relationship, intimacy, and companionship.” 2. Unhealthy sexuality ________ ________ God’s plan and destroys intimacy and communication. It is self-centered, and often manipulates, controls, or hurts another person.  The experience may be ___________ ___________ , but it is temporary, dehumanizing, and ultimately unfulfilling. B. The Bible is ______ _____ on the subject. Hebrews 13:4, “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” 1. God has placed a ________ ________ around the sexual act, and that boundary is marriage between a man and a woman. 2. Anything outside of this boundary is not in God’s plan and therefore is ______ ______ . PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

C. The Bible uses two words to describe sex outside of God’s plan. 1. __________ ____________ : This word is used ____ ________ times in the New Testament. a. In several passages it refers to _______ _______ immorality. b. Twice it refers to ___________ __________ sex. c. The word does differ from adultery, however, in that adultery is dealing with behavior of married people, while fornication primarily deals with the behavior in the sexual areas of ______ ______ people 2. Adultery, that is sexual relationships with someone other than one’s spouse, is strongly condemned many times in the Scriptures. In 1 Corinthians 6, Galatians 5, and Colossians 3, it is listed among other sins that provoke the ________ ________ of God. 3. 1 Corinthians 6:12-20, “All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body. And God hath both raised up the Lord, and will also raise up us by his own power. Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. What? know ye not that he that is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. But he that is joined to the Lord is one spirit. Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” 4. While the sexual passions may be ______ ______ , they are not to be fulfilled outside of marriage. 1 Corinthians 7:9, “But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.” D. Sex outside of marriage involves sinful ________ ________ . 1. Adultery, fornication, and lust can all take place in the ____ ____ without any genital contact, and this thinking is clearly condemned by Christ. a. Matthew 5:27-28, “Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery. But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

b. __________ ____ is clearly condemned here. When an attraction toward someone of the opposite gender turns into a ____ ________ to use that person, we have crossed from erotic excitement into spiritual adultery. E. Sex apart from marriage involves sinful ______ ______ . 1. Again, the Bible links these together which shows the danger of participating in and listening to explicit sexual ________ ________ 2. Ephesians 5:3-4, “But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.” F. Sex apart from marriage involves individual sexual __________ _______________ . 1. The term “masturbation” is not found in Scripture but is defined as “the self-stimulation of one’s genitals to the point of orgasm.” 2. Since this practice is not found in Scripture there are differing views on the subject. a. Jay Adams, in The Christian Counselor’s Manual , states, “Masturbation is clearly wrong since it constitutes a perversion of the sexual act.” b. James Dobson states in Preparing for Adolescence that “masturbation is not much of an issue . . . since it is not mentioned in the Bible.” 3. What is clear (and by the way agreed upon by all), is that masturbation is accompanied by _______ _______ thoughts. These thoughts, as we have already seen are sinful whether they involve genital stimulation or not. II. The Causes of Sex outside of Marriage A. ____________ ____________ stimulation 1. ______ ______ pressure a. Today’s culture emphasizes _________ _________ sexual gratification. b. Much of what is seen and heard today is designed to the sexual ________ _______ and desires. PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

c. Particularly with young people, the pressure from friends to “experience” the sexual act is great because they will not be accepted or approved without it. d. Adults are also greatly influenced by a society that places them away from ____ ____ much of the time in their work and even leisure. 2. Sexual ___________ ___________ a. Young people are left _____ _____ much of the time without parental supervision. b. Adults have money and access to _______ _______ sexual encounters. c. Contraceptive devices, abortion, and so-called “safe-sex” give people confidence that they will not be ______ ______ . 3. Changing ______ ______ a. Sex outside of the boundary of marriage is no longer considered _____ __________. b. The subject of sex is widely talked about, advertised, and all kinds of sexual freedom is not only tolerated but ________ ________. Homosexuality today is not only viewed by the world as an “alternate” life-style, but an __________ __________ and desirable life-style. “Folly is set in great dignity” (Ecclesiastes 10:6). 4. Inappropriate _________ _________ a. The sexual relationships seen in television and promoted in novels and magazines is not only inadequate, but __________ __________. b. Sex education teaches the facts of ______ ________ without any principles for morality. B. Internal _______ _______ 1. “At the heart of the problem is a problem of the heart.”  Jesus stated that our real problems come from within. Matthew 15:18-19, “But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies.” 2. There are several internal “heart” pressures: PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

a. _________ _________ i. With all of the emphasis on sex, a person can conclude that they are _______ _______ something. ii. _______ _______ due to one’s lack of a proper sexual relationship can cause one to try something new or different. b. ________ ________ and self-esteem i. As we saw in lecture ten, many people suffer from inferiority, and sex outside of marriage is a way for them to feel ________ ________ or loved. ii. Middle-aged and older people who fear that they are losing their attractiveness bolster their confidence with a sexual affair. iii. Masturbation allows the individual to live in a fantasy world of __________ __________ and acceptance and any fear or risk is eliminated. iv. Homosexuality today is seen as a badge of honor and acceptance. c. The search for ________ ________ i. We have defined sexuality as more than genital contact, involving closeness, communication, and sincere love. ii. When a person experiences loneliness, depression, or a lack of acceptance, they often turn to a sexual relationship outside of marriage that provides intimacy, tenderness, excitement, and fulfillment. d. ________ ________ and escape i. Wrong sexual behavior can be a rebellion against parental or spiritual _________ _________ . ii. It can be a statement about the severing of a person from their ____ ____ . iii. It can also be an expression of _____ _____ and defiance against one’s spouse or some other person. e. _______ _______ influence PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

i. Ephesians 6:10 warns us of our battle with a foe who is stronger than we are, “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” ii. 2 Corinthians 11:14-15 reminds us that Satan is not the guy in a red suit and pitch fork, but rather makes sin very attractive: “And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light. Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness; whose end shall be according to their works.” iii. Satan rules this world and has created a system of evil that is constantly attacking and tempting us. We often fall into sexual sins because we make ourselves _________ __________ by wrong thinking and activity. iv. The Christian, while in this world, must arm himself with the power of the Holy Spirit. 1 John 4:4, “... greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.” III.The Effects of Sex Outside of Marriage A. Ultimately, any sin will be ________ ________ by God and this area would be no different. B. Much of the effect of sexual sin, however, comes much ______ ______ . 1. _________ _________ effects a. Studies show that guilt, jealousy, fear, anxiety, insecurity, self-condemnation, anger, and depression are among the _________ _________ following sex apart from marriage. b. Sexual freedom produces a _________ _________ of the conscience and produces constant conflict in the emotions between right and wrong. 2. _____________ _____________ effects a. Marriages are certainly at risk due to extra-marital affairs. b. Careers (ministries) have been wrecked. c. ________ ________ are greatly affected as often the home is broken or at least the harmony ruined. d. Personal _____ _____ is lost between spouses and families. PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

3. _________ _________ effects a. Living the Christian life while involved in sexual sin is a _____________ _____________. b. Spiritual vitality and _________ _________ are lost. c. Any sin must be confessed and forsaken if one expects to grow spiritually and avoid a spiritual deadness. 4. ________ ________ effects a. Illegitimate pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases. b. Sexual intercourse ______ ______ marriage is influenced in some way by sex outside of marriage.  Guilt, mistrust, anger, anxiety, insecurity, comparisons, etc. will all be present when there is another sexual relationship before or during marriage. IV.Counseling the Sexual Issues A. Look at your own _________ _________ and views. 1. In counseling this area, it is easy to be ill-at-ease, embarrassed, or _________ _________ about how to proceed. 2. Appearing shocked, uncomfortable, or able only to provide pat answers will provide little help for those seeking help. 3. A _____________ _____________ attitude that acknowledges the reality of sin, the power of temptation, and the joy of forgiveness is what is needed. a. A non-understanding counselor can destroy self-esteem and communicate a sense of ____________ ____________ . 4. The right attitude is _________ _________ particularly if we know the people involved. a. We must show love without ____________ ___________ our biblical standards. b. We must show compassion without _______ _______ reality. c. We must be direct without becoming vindictive. B. Listen with ___________ __________. PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

1. This is important in all counseling as we have seen, but it is very important and difficult in this area. a. By listening, we convey to the counselee our desire to understand and our ___________ ___________ to help. b. The counselor should be careful not to offer advice, express opinions or “preach” until he or she has a clear ___________ ___________ on the problem. 2. When someone is _______ _______ of sin in this area, we should be careful to follow the instruction in Matthew 18. We should approach them alone first, then with one or two more. a. This gives them the opportunity to talk, a chance to repent and receive forgiveness, and take responsibility. b. An attitude of _____________ ______________ or ____________ ____________ without sensitive listening, creates resistance, defensiveness, and even anger. This will make confession and restitution much more difficult. C. Examine _________ _________ 1. As we listen, we can determine the counselee’s ______ ______ and attitudes about sex. a. These attitudes determine ________ ________ . b. Before there can be changed behavior, there must be a change of values. D. Help with the _________ _________ issues. 1. Counseling is most effective when we deal with _________ _________ . a. The counselee will need advice and support in resisting sexual approaches, fleeing temptation, terminating wrong relationships, and informing parents or a mate about wrong sexual activity. b. Remember, that people respond best when the motivation to change comes from ______ ______ . c. Instead of merely ______ ______ them what to do, get them to _____ _____ through their present attitudes and behavior in light of the Scriptures. E. Demonstrate ___________ ___________ PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

1. It is inconsistent to preach that God forgives, but never _____ _____ it. 2. Most people are so far removed from _____ _____ forgiveness that until they see another human being (the counselor) forgive them, they have a difficult time believing that God will either. F. Stimulate right thinking through good ___________ ___________ . 1. The counselor should be well rehearsed with the __________ __________ dealing with this area. 2. Have some additional _________ _________ materials on hand. Books, articles, tapes, etc. can be good task agreements when counseling in this area. Conclusion: As we stated in the introduction, it would be impossible to cover this area completely in one lecture. We are obviously fighting a huge ______ ______ in this area with so much of society on the other side of the fence. What many people today experience and hear in their culture is totally ________ ________ of what God has said. Therefore, much of our work comes in the form of education in God’s principles and commands. A fence at the top of the cliff is always better than placing an ambulance at the bottom! As Christian leaders and workers, we should be addressing this subject frequently in our sermons and lessons. Scriptural teaching and practical advice, along with strong warnings will build a “fear of the Lord” which as Proverbs 1:7 states, is “the beginning of knowledge.” It is not our intent to “poison” the minds of young people with all of the details of the sexual experience, but it is a topic that God’s Word addresses and we fail to preach and teach the whole _______ _______ of God if we avoid the subject. Once counseling in this area, we may find that we need ____ ____ . Don’t be afraid to get it! The farther society goes into sin the more bizarre the situations will become. The longer a person engages in sexual sin, the more tangled the web will be. Remember, we too, are vulnerable – so stay __________ ___________ and in a right relationship with God and your spouse. Ask continually for God’s ______ ______ and _____ _____ . You will need both in this area, for sure. PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

How to Counsel Sexual Perversions “Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.” (Galatians 6:1) Why we can be Successful : “ And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter: so he made it again another vessel, as seemed good to the potter to make it.” (Jeremiah 18:4) G oal – is to change behavior biblically M ethod – is to ask productive questions A nswer – is Jesus Christ and His Scriptures I nsight – is that they are not giving the root, but fruit problems L ife – eternal and abundant life is what we offer Causes of Homosexuality: “ Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom, pride, fulness of bread, and abundance of idleness was in her and in her daughters, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy. And they were haughty, and committed abomination before me: therefore I took them away as I saw good.” (Ezekiel 16:49-50) 1. Rebellion – Believing a Lie about God and themselves. Proverbs 16:6 2. Selfishness – Living for self and their own will. 3. Unrestrained Curiosity 4. No Purpose – Too much idle time, no focus or ambition, inactivity. 5. Apathy – No care for others. 6. Not Thankful – Ungratefulness, believe others owe them, bitterness. 7. Arrogant – Haughty, Prideful. Consequences of Homosexuality: “ For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness; Because that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for God hath shewed it unto them. For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse: Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things. Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves: Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen. For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet. And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.” (Romans 1:18-32) PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

1. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________________ 2. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________________ 3. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________________ 4. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________________ 5. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________________ 6. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________________ 7. __________________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________________ Cure for Homosexuality: “ For though I made you sorry with a letter, I do not repent, though I did repent: for I perceive that the same epistle hath made you sorry, though it were but for a season. Now I rejoice, not that ye were made sorry, but that ye sorrowed to repentance: for ye were made sorry after a godly manner, that ye might receive damage by us in nothing. For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death. For behold this selfsame thing, that ye sorrowed after a godly sort, what carefulness it wrought in you, yea, what clearing of yourselves, yea, what indignation, yea, what fear, yea, what vehement desire, yea, what zeal, yea, what revenge! In all things ye have approved yourselves to be clear in this matter.” (2 Corinthians 7:8-1I) 1. Begin Dialogue:  Wanted to talk with you before you leave for the summer.  How do you feel you’ve done this year spiritually?  Are you concerned about falling to any specific sin this summer?  Has your thought life been an especially difficult battle for you?  Do you struggle sexually with desires that are not natural?  Go to the 4 questions: 2. The 4 Questions:  Do you believe God made you this way or did you become this? Psalm 139:14-15; Jeremiah 29:11; Genesis 1:26-27  Are you saved? Have you struggled with assurance of your salvation? 2 Peter 1:5-10  Do you believe your problem is only one part of your life or do you believe it has affected your whole life? Piece of pie or the whole pie?  Can you ever see victory over this sin? 3. Victory over the Temptation Process:  Vigilance_________________________________________  Imagine the Consequences_________________________  Cry out To God ___________________________________  Take Thoughts into Captivity_______________________  Omnipresence of God_____________________________  Run From _______________________________________  Yield to the Holy Spirit____________________________ PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

Lecture Twelve Spiritual Growth Introduction: In an age of fast food, drive through windows, ATM’s, and microwaves, it may be difficult for us to understand that God is never in a _____ _____ . His goal is that each of us mature into a Christ-likeness, but He also knows that we will never be successful this side of heaven. God is _______ _______ , and He has set an extremely high standard for us. “But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy” (1 Peter 1:15-16). Matthew 5:48 states, “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.” Along with His standards of holiness and perfection, we find that God is also a God of love, mercy, and compassion. “The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy” (Psalm 103:8). “It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness” (Lamentations 3:22-23). God is _________ _________ . He knows that we are sinful and has not left us to stand alone. “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee” (Hebrews 13:5). His Holy Spirit lives within us (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) and will guide us as we submit to Him. “Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth” (John 16:13). I. The Goal of the Christian Life A. The goal of the Christian life is to be Christ-like in three areas: 1. In _______ _______ a. Worship in the Old Testament meant bringing sacrifices to God continually for sin. b. This ended with Christ’s sacrifice on _______ _______ . “But Christ being come an high priest of good things to come, by a greater and more perfect tabernacle, not made with hands, that is to say, not of this building; Neither by the blood of goats and calves, but by his own blood he entered in once into the holy place, having obtained eternal redemption for us” (Hebrews 9:11-12). c. Today, we worship God by giving _________ _________ as a living sacrifice. “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the

mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.” 2. In change of _________ _________ a. Romans 12:2 goes on to say, “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” b. This transforming involves our ____ ____ and our _______ _______ . c. We are to _________ _________ our lives from sin and become holy as He is holy. d. Our lives, instead of being characterized by the world, the flesh, and the devil, are to be characterized by love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance. 3. We are to be involved in _______ _______ others. a. This is ________ ________ to the world’s view of success. “...but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister; And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant.” b. The way up is ____ ____ . 1 Peter 5:6, “Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time.” B. The Christian life is not a struggle to become all that we think God wants us to be. 1. Christian growth is to _____ _____ our bodies, our mind, our rights, our goals, our agenda, and our desires completely to God so that He can make us into exactly what He wants us to become. 2. The _____ _____ is written so that we can know what it is that will make us “a vessel unto honour, sanctified, and meet for the master’s use, and prepared unto every good work” (2 Timothy 2:21). II. Hindrances to Spiritual Growth and Maturity A. Some cannot grow because they are _____ _____ . PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler

1. Ephesians 2:1, “And you hath he quickened, who were dead in trespasses and sins.” 2. Prior to _________ _________ , we are described as dead in sin. “But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth” (1 Timothy 5:6). 3. Once a person is saved by faith through grace, he can then mature according to God’s plan. Ephesians 2:10, “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.” B. The lack of growth is caused by ___ ___________ . 1. The major cause of spiritual stagnation for the Christian is sin.  Sin is any action or attitude which violates or fails to conform to the __________ ____ of God. 2. We can sin by what we _____ _____, what we ____ ____ or fail to do, or by what we ______ ______ . 3. When there is a failure to repent, that sin will _______ _______ us and control our life. John 8:34, “...Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin.” C. Lack of growth can be caused by a “pharisaical” attitude. 1. The Pharisees of Jesus day were very _________ _________ and kept the Old Testament law to the maximum. Jesus preaches to them in Matthew 23, “Woe unto you scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cumin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone. Ye blind guides, which strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel. Woe unto you scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess. Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the outside may be clean also... Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can ye escape the damnation of hell?” (Verses 23-26, 33). 2. This passage makes it clear that we are not pleasing to God simply because we ___ ___ certain things. “Just Be It” is more important to God, than “Just Do It.” 3. Spiritual maturity is not: a. ________ ________ : The strict keeping of rules. PT 106 Introduction to Biblical Counseling | Spring 2019 | Dr. Jim Schettler