04.07 stand out from the crowd worksheet

04.07 Stand Out from the Crowd Worksheet Part I: The Rough Draf My Work Topic Highlight your selected topic:  Do photo filters on social media negatively impact self-esteem?  Does reality television promote dangerous stereotypes?  Should energy drinks be banned for anyone under the age of 18?  Should owning exotic pets be illegal? Rough Draf Type or paste the rough draft of your essay here. It should include:  introduction  three body paragraphs  conclusion Is it really necessary to own an exotic pet? I mean think about it, taking a wild animal out of its natural habitat just to take it to a place, put it into a cage, for pure "entertainment"? It's honestly just cruel. Most exotic pets are even dangerous for humans. It's very selfish to feel like you have the right to keep an animal from living a nice life in its natural habitat and instead domesticating it. Exotic pets do poorly when you keep them in captivity. All your doing is affecting the animal wildlife population by taking them out of their environment. Tigers and lions are a common exotic animal, there has been several reported attacks from tigers attacking humans, not just severely injuring them, but killing them as well. As included in exotic animals as pets by peta: The exotic animal trade is dangerous for humans as well. There have been dozens of attacks by captive big cats on humans in the past decade”. These big cats present a serious hazard to people and therefore must be left in the wild. The numbers of assaults on people performed by large cats kept as pets is astonishing. Wild animals are meant to be wild and not domesticated. They’re characteristics are that of wild animals so when domesticated, they don’t know how to act properly. As stated in the dangers of keeping exotic pets by born free usa: “ Exotic animals — lions, tigers, wolves, bears, reptiles, non-human primates — belong in their natural habitats and not in the hands of private individuals as “pets”. Numerous exotic animals begin their lives liberated in the wild but then are captured just to be auctioned off or put up for sale into the pet trade. There are lots of people who think that exotic pet owners are discriminated and mistreated for no reason and that having exotic pets is a good thing, but that’s false, not only can people be harming wild animals by domesticating them but they could be potentially harming themselves, as stated in progressive animal welfare society, “Many wild animals carry zoonotic diseases (illnesses that can be transferred from animals to humans), such as Brucellosis, Salmonella and Ringworm. They often carry parasites, as well, that can be transmitted to humans or other pets.” Exotic animals should be illegal because it will protect the wildlife population and the human population. Animals should never be in danger because of humans and they should always be safe. Simply leaving animals be is the best option for everyone. Unless Otherwise Noted All Content © 2022 Florida Virtual School. FlexPoint Education Cloud™ is a trademark of Florida Virtual School.

Part II: Edit and Revise Use the rough draft of your essay to complete the chart below. Editing and Revision Task My Work Coherence  My claim statement clearly sets up the body paragraphs.  My body paragraphs begin with topic sentences and include cited, supportive evidence.  My ideas are clarified or strengthened.  Off-topic, redundant, or unnecessary sentences are deleted  Transitions help to connect my ideas.  My conclusion rephrases my claim, includes a conditional statement, and recaps my main points. Review your rough draft and find one sentence that should be revised for coherence. Paste the original sentence here: Is it really necessary to own an exotic pet? Revise the sentence here: Owning exotic animals should be illegal. Conventions  All words are spelled correctly and I have checked for homonyms.  I capitalized proper nouns, names of publications, names of experts, and the first word in each sentence and quote.  I used correct punctuation within my writing and to introduce quotations and information from my sources. Review your rough draft and find one sentence that should be edited for conventions. Paste the original sentence here: the dangers of keeping exotic pets by born free usa: “ Exotic animals — lions, tigers, wolves, bears, reptiles, non-human primates — belong in their natural habitats and not in the hands of private individuals as “pets”. Revise the sentence here: The Dangers of Keeping Exotic Pets | Born Free USA , “ Exotic animals — lions, tigers, wolves, bears, reptiles, non-human primates — belong in their natural habitats and not in the hands of private individuals as “pets”. Formal Style  I avoided conversational and slang words.  I avoided acronyms and contractions and have spelled out official names or words.  I avoided absolute words like always or never. Review your rough draft and find one sentence that should be revised for formal style. Paste the original sentence here: Animals should never be in danger because of humans Unless Otherwise Noted All Content © 2022 Florida Virtual School. FlexPoint Education Cloud™ is a trademark of Florida Virtual School.

only can people be harming wild animals by domesticating them but they could be potentially harming themselves, as stated in progressive animal welfare society, “Many wild animals carry zoonotic diseases (illnesses that can be transferred from animals to humans), such as Brucellosis, Salmonella and Ringworm. They often carry parasites, as well, that can be transmitted to humans or other pets.” Exotic animals should be illegal because it will protect the wildlife population and the human population. There’s no reason animal species should be in danger because of humans. Simply leaving animals be is the best option for everyone. Works Cited Type or paste the Works Cited from your Argumentative Writing Planner here. It should be:  alphabetized  double-spaced  reverse-indented  properly punctuated Works Cited Ingrid E. Newkirk, Exotic Animals as ‘Pets’, 2023, 4/27/2023 Veterinarian Jane Mahlow, Animals in Captivity, 2023, 4/27/2023 Matthew Russell, How Exotic Pets Pose Serious Threats To Their Owners, Neighbors And The Communities They Are Brought Into, 2023, 4/27/2023 Rubric On Target Almost There Needs Improvement Rough Draf 10 points  Included an entire rough draft and Works Cited 5 points  Included a partial rough draft and Works Cited 5-0 points  Missing rough draft and Works Cited Edits and Revisions 20-16 points Clearly and effectively: 15-12 points Attempted to: 11-0 points May be missing: Unless Otherwise Noted All Content © 2022 Florida Virtual School. FlexPoint Education Cloud™ is a trademark of Florida Virtual School.

 selected sentences with errors and edited/revised successfully  completed all four areas of the chart  select sentences with errors and edit/revise  complete all four areas of the chart  sentences with errors and edited/revised sentences  most or all areas of the chart Final Draf Introduction 15-12 points Clearly and effectively:  used a statistic or fact to draw in the reader  introduced the topic, provided background knowledge, and emphasized the importance to the reader  addressed the counterclaim and followed with the claim  took a clear stance on the issue and provided reasons  wrote a claim that is one coherent and logical sentence 11-9 points  Attempted a hook, but contains “I” or an opinion  Attempted to introduce the topic, but the information provided may leave the reader wondering why it should matter to them  May have used “I” statements or opinions  Attempts to address the counterclaim followed by the claim, but may not be logically connected  The claim may not take a clear stance on the issue or may not provide reasons  May have used “I” statements or opinions  The claim may be more than one sentence 8-0 points  There is no hook present  There is no general information, or the information provided is not connected to the topic  There is no claim statement, or the claim statement is completely unrelated to the topic Final Draf Body Paragraphs 30-24 points Clearly and effectively:  included a topic sentence at the beginning of the first two body paragraphs and strongly maintained my claim throughout.  addressed a counterclaim in my third body paragraph.  used a rebuttal and supported my rebuttal with evidence from 23-18 points  Used a loosely connected topic sentence at the beginning of each body paragraph and attempted to maintain my claim throughout.  Attempted to address a counterclaim in my third body paragraph.  Attempted a rebuttal but may not have fully supported my rebuttal with evidence from my 17-0 points May be missing:  reasons for my claim at the beginning of each body paragraph.  a counterclaim in the third body paragraph.  a rebuttal and support for my rebuttal.  transitions between and in my body paragraphs.  signal phrases.  facts from my sources.  elaborative details and Unless Otherwise Noted All Content © 2022 Florida Virtual School. FlexPoint Education Cloud™ is a trademark of Florida Virtual School.

power  Attempted a clincher, but it appears as a general statement Works Cited 10-8 points  Contains no errors in formatting, punctuation, and alphabetization  Includes only/all sources mentioned in essay 7-6 points  Contains minor errors in formatting, punctuation, and alphabetization  May be missing sources mentioned in essay or includes sources not mentioned 5-0 points  Contains major errors in formatting, punctuation, and alphabetization  May be missing Works Cited Unless Otherwise Noted All Content © 2022 Florida Virtual School. FlexPoint Education Cloud™ is a trademark of Florida Virtual School.