CFT360-TWA3
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360
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Philosophy
Date
Apr 3, 2024
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docx
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Uploaded by SargentAardvark2520
Brigiette Lytle
CFT 360-1002
Professor Perkins
February 29, 2024
Consumer and Covenant Marriage & Crossing Thresholds
1.
In the “Consumer and Covenant Marriage” article, the author describes two approaches to marriage.
a.
Describe what he means by “consumer marriage.”
Consumer marriage has high psychological expectations and focuses on making sure one’s own needs are being met while also making sure their partner is doing a well job to their standards. b.
Describe what he means by “modern covenant marriage.”
Modern covenant marriage is a new way to be in committed relationships in the twenty first century (Doherty), and involves not only a commitment to the other person, but also the marriage itself. This form of marriage is viewed as something very sacred and powerful and does not focus on whether or not the spouse’s desires are being met. 2.
Discuss the differences in how one would approach or enter marriage from these two perspectives.
When a person approaches or enters marriage from the perspective of a consumer, they are only open to doing their part in the relationship as long as their own needs and wants are being met by their spouse. An example of this could be if a married man only wants
to have sex with his wife when he is seeking pleasure for himself, not because he is seeking to pleasure her. When a person views their marriage in the covenant perspective, they prioritize their marriage even if their partner isn’t holding up their end of the relationship. These type of partners focus on loving their marriages and partners in the same capacity as their own selves or religions. These marriages take critical skills including self-awareness, empathy, negotiation, and understanding (Doherty).
3.
What difference would it make in how a couple deals with problems or handles differences in their marriage from these two perspectives?
Both modern covenant marriages and consumer marriages acknowledge the importance of each partner being expressive about their wants, needs, and expectations in their marriages. In the perspective of a covenant marriage, couples value their marriages just as much as themselves and their partners. When dealing with conflict, these couples believe minor disagreements aren’t sufficient enough for divorce and will consider marriage counseling in times of trouble (Doherty). Within a consumer marriage, these partners don’t consider how situations may have affected the opposing spouse, and instead focuses on whether or not they are satisfied. These types of couples also consider finding someone else to satisfy them if they feel their partner can’t or won’t.
4.
How would it affect the overall quality of the marriage?
Consumer marriages are very unhealthy for relationships because it’s extremely one-
sided. Covenant marriages could potentially affect the overall quality of marriage in a positive aspect because it promotes couples to have pre-marital education, marriage counseling, and a two year separation prior to divorcing (Doherty).
5.
The author describes the “Institutional Marriage” and the “Psychological Marriage.”
a.
Describe each of these.
Institutional marriage refers to idea of men being the head of house, the familial economic status, and the raising of their children. These type of marriage typically
have large families, are solely for the benefit of the children, and don’t value emotional availability or awareness between the spouses (Doherty). Psychological
marriages focus on the emotional aspect in marriages and each spouse’s satisfaction in terms of sex, friendship, intimacy, and much more. b.
How did the psychological marriage evolve into the consumer marriage?
Psychological and consumer marriages both involve valuing personal satisfaction over their partner’s satisfaction. Psychological marriages turned into consumer marriages due to the entitlement partners suddenly gained.
6.
How does modern covenant marriage go beyond consumer marriage?
Modern covenant marriage goes beyond consumer marriage in many ways, with the third party commitment being the most critical aspect, especially if you share children. Covenant marriages are not only committing to your partner but to the marriage itself as well. This type if marriage believes the motions of our hearts and minds will contribute to
a everlasting healthy relationship (Doherty).
7.
In the article “Crossing Thresholds” describe the dilemma the young couple faces. What options do they have at this point?
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The couple’s dilemma is that after a long exhausting day at work, the husband came home to a chaotic house, but the wife insisted that she is very tired too and needs his assistance with dinner and the children. The options that they have is either be compassionate and supportive of each other’s needs in that moment, or they could feel erratic towards one another due to their previous cultural conditioning from their own families. 8.
Depending on their response to the situation, how might it affect the quality or strength of their marriage?
If the couple decided to focus on the value or worth of their partner in the moment, they have the capacity to create a equal partnership. Equal partner marriages is the idea that couples merge with one another in terms of their wants, needs and expectations in their relationship. This idea also suggests that one partner will fulfill wherever the other partner is lacking to uphold the balance in the marriage.
9.
The author shares a journal entry of a couple married for 56 years. What helped them have a successful, mutually satisfying marriage
?
John and Therissa Clark had daily conversations and were very patient with one another. In the journal entry, Therissa notes how whenever she felt withdrawn her husband would give her reassurance and comfort, and she never felt alone while with him for 60 years.