Cumulative Writing Activity 2
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University of British Columbia *
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333
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English
Date
Dec 6, 2023
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SCIE300 Cumulative Writing Activity 2 (Writing Units 4-6)
NAME:
TOTAL (/50):
Instructions:
•
For multiple choice questions, choose a correct answer using the highlighter tool.
•
For written answers, write your answers following the question in the space provided.
Section A (25 marks)
1. Re-write the following sentences
using at least two fewer words,
and without losing or
changing the meaning of each sentence (
2 marks each = 10 marks
). The target word
count is provided below.
Note: There are multiple potentially correct ways of re-writing
these sentences more concisely.
a) A brand-new man-made satellite is scheduled to be launched into outer space by
a group of scientists working at NASA.
Target: ≤ 20 words.
A brand-new satellite is scheduled to launch into outer space by a group of
scientists working at NASA
b) Prior to its launch, every aspect of the satellite is set to be inspected so that no
Earthly residues stuck on the outside of the surface could potentially contaminate
space.
Target: ≤ 29 words.
Every aspect of the satellite is to be inspected so that no Earthly residues stuck
on the outside of the surface could can contaminate space.
c)
The scientists decided to name this satellite after one of the most famous and
notable astronauts that NASA had ever employed: Col. Chris Hadfield.
Target:
≤ 23 words.
The scientists named this satellite after one of the most notable astronauts
employed by NASA: Col. Chris Hadfield.
d) Col. Hadfield was said to have been extremely grateful for this honour, and
wanted to send his congratulations to the researchers who designed and would
launch the satellite.
Target: ≤ 27 words.
Col. Hadfield was apparently extremely grateful for this honour, and sent his
congratulations to the researchers who designed and launched the satellite.
e) The task of the new satellite will be to collect cosmic dust from the edge of the
outermost layer of the Earth’s atmosphere, and return it to the surface so that it
could be scientifically characterized.
Target: ≤ 35 words.
The new satellite is tasked with collecting cosmic dust from the edge of the
outermost layer of Earth’s atmosphere, and return it to the surface so that it could be
scientifically characterized.
2. The following paragraph contains
five
instances of redundant words, wordy phrases, and
jargon.
Scientists believe with a high level of certainty that the current COVID-19 vaccines
are effective. These include two mRNA-based vaccines (Pfizer and Moderna), and
two non-replicating viral vaccines (Johnson & Johnson, AstraZeneca). However, the
public are cautious about the AstraZeneca vaccine because it has been shown that
its efficacy rate is slightly lower than the other vaccines.
Complete this table by identifying each word/phrase, and indicating whether it is redundant,
wordy, or jargon (
1 mark each = 10 marks
).
Word/phrase
Redundant/Wordy/Jargon?
mRNA-based
Jargon
Believe with a high level of certainty
Redundant
Because it has been shown that
Wordy
non-replicating viral vaccines
Jargon
[Insert answer here]
[Insert answer here]
3. Read the short article below:
Students who spend at least one hour a day reading for pleasure are more likely to
sleep better at night, according to a recent study published on a Navan University
science blog by graduate student Lily Maeve.
Maeve asked students who never previously read non-course-related books to wear
sleep monitors for a three-month period in which they agreed to read such material
before bed, before comparing their sleep patterns with those of students who only
read
course notes.
She found that the ‘readers’ slept for longer, and enjoyed less broken sleep than the
‘non-readers’. She also noted from qualitative responses that the ‘readers’ said they
felt more awake in class and were better able to relax at night.
Below are three quotations from Lily Maeve:
QUOTATION 1:
“We thought that we would consider two groups of students: those
who
agreed to read for pleasure, and those who either only read course notes or did
not
want to read other things.”
QUOTATION 2:
“Most students said afterwards that they weren’t surprised by the
results,
which makes me wonder why more people don’t read for pleasure all the time.”
QUOTATION 3:
“I think the results are very reliable because we used sleep monitors
that
were previously validated in other experiments; values from these were compared
with
data that people personally recorded about their sleep patterns, such as when
they went
to bed and got up, and when they woke up at night. The sleep monitor data
was very
reliable when correlated with these personal observations.”
Use the summary and quotations to answer the following questions (
1 mark each = 5
marks
):
1. Which quotation should be used as is in the article?
A) Quotation 1
B) Quotation 2
C) Quotation 3
2.
Which quotation should not be used at all in the article (either as it is or
paraphrased?)
A) Quotation 1
B) Quotation 2
C) Quotation 3
3. Which quotation should be used but paraphrased?
A) Quotation 1
B) Quotation 2
C) Quotation 3
4. Briefly explain your choice for question 3. Why should the quotation be
paraphrased?
The quotation is quite long and wordy however contains valuable information
pertaining to the experiment. Thus, by paraphrasing it, the core idea that the
experiment is reliable as a result of aforementioned measures can be maintained
all whilst not distracting the reader from the main points of the article.
5. Succinctly paraphrase the quotation.
The results are reliable as sleep monitors used in the experiment have been
previously validated. The values produced from the sleep monitors proved to be
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reliable when correlated with the subject’s personal sleep observations.
Section B (25 marks)
4. Access the journal article below. You may need to log in to the UBC library (via your CWL)
when prompted. Alternatively, you can access them yourself using the UBC library search
function; typing in the article title alone (
bolded
below) should produce a link.
Avoidance of feeding opportunities by the whelk
Buccinanops globulosum
in
the presence of damaged conspecifics.
(Daleo, P.
et al
. 2012)
https://doi.org/10.1007/s00227-012-2020-8
Read the
abstract
carefully and summarize contents into your own words in a way that makes
the sentences more concise (
5 marks
), less ambiguous (
5 marks
), and less jargon-heavy (
5
marks
). Your summary should be between 75 – 150 words. (
15 marks
)
In the life of a scavenger it is vital to be aware of the risk of predators and their alarm cues when
looking for food. The effect of injured scavenger species in the form of sea snails on their
response to feeding opportunities was evaluated in a Patagonian Bay in September 2010. The
effect of sex, size, body condition or starvation on anti-predatory behavior was assessed. The
number of sea snails feeding on carrion was reduced by half when other injured sea snails were
present. Smaller and starved individuals responded less to the presence of other damaged sea
snails. These results indicate that feeding avoidance after detecting nearby injured similar
species is a common anti-predatory strategy of these types of sea snail. This shows that
morphology and starvation are important factors in the trade-off between feeding and avoiding
predation risk.
5. Access the journal article below. You may need to log in to the UBC library (via your CWL)
when prompted. Alternatively, you can access them yourself using the UBC library search
function; typing in the article title alone (
bolded
below) should produce a link.
Canyon wrens alter their songs in response to territorial challenges
(Benedict,
L.
et al.
2012).
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.anbehav.2012.09.017
Read the
abstract
carefully and answer the following questions about the research: (
2 marks
each = 10 marks
) Note: you will find that sometimes the researchers do not explicitly predict an
outcome, but you can allude to their prediction(s) when noting the main findings.
1. What problem/question does this research consider?
How does the frequency in vocality of animals change in the presence of predatorial
threat.
2. Why is this problem/question important/interesting?
This problem is interesting as it depicts how canyon wrens and other bird species
respond in multiple different ways when faced with conspecific territorial intrusion
3. What methods were used (in general)?
Playback experiments were conducted on 13 canyon wren territories in Larimer Country.
Instead of marking individual birds, territories were separated by at least 0.6km and
repeatedly observed individuals at each location simultaneously.
4. What were the main findings?
The subjects used lower song frequencies and harsh notes more frequently in the
presence of simulated territorial intrusions
5. What evidence is provided to support the main findings?
The findings show that canyon wrens sang at a shorter song cascade in response to this
playback but increased the number cheet notes and the number of songs delivered.