Benchmark - Conflict

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Apr 3, 2024

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Benchmark - Conflict Alexandra R. Sapp Grand Canyon University COM-312: Conflict and Negotiation Professor Taylor Moore February 18, 2024 Benchmark - Conflict Every individual experiences conflict throughout their day-to-day life, and it is impossible to avoid. There are conflicts that are positive, as well as conflicts that are negative. Each type of conflict is necessary in order for individuals to learn, grow, and evolve over time. Each person has their own perception of things, and perceptions are at the core of all conflicts (Hocker, 2021). Each individual handles conflict in their own way, based on their perception, and it is important for individuals to know how to handle conflict in a mature and proper manner. In this paper, I will be analyzing a destructive conflict I have experienced in the past, and how it could’ve been handled in a better way.

A lot of conflict is known to be destructive, and there are many different styles of conflict. According to Interpersonal Conflict , the different styles of conflict are: avoidance, obliging, dominating, integrating, and compromising (Hocker, 2021). The different causes of conflict can come from organizational structure, limited resources, task interdependence, incompatible goals, personality differences, and/or communication problems (University of Minnesota, 2017). Destructive conflict is known as something that “can escalate quickly from a difference of opinion to a toxic situation” (Curran et al., 2023), while constructive conflict consists of the opposite; “group negotiation without being sabotaged by destructive conflict” (Pon Staff, 2023). It is recommended for individuals to experience constructive conflict, rather than destructive conflict. The factors of destructive conflict include the context in which the conflict occurs, and the type of communication that is used. “If all participants are dissatisfied with the outcomes of a conflict and think they have lost as a result (Deutsch 2014), then the conflict is classified as destructive (Hocker, 2021). A destructive conflict that I recently experienced was having to fire one of my close friends from work. I work at a gym, and I am the Staff Manager for all of the employees. After conducting a monthly audit, I came to the realization that one of the trainers, my close friend, was having people pay him under the table, instead of the gym. This action is 100% against gym policy, therefore, I had to let him go for his lack of integrity and honesty. After I came to the realization he was doing this, I immediately gave him a call and explained to him what I saw, and told him that I unfortunately had to let him go, per the owner. This would be described as the critical start-up, because it set the tone for the conflict that was about to occur. I noticed when I was on the phone with my friend, he started to use defensive communication because he was scared he was going to lose his job, especially since he could sense that I was upset and disappointed. After I told him that I had to let him go,

he started becoming very defensive by gaslighting me, and being disrespectful by bringing up things in our personal relationship, which led to us arguing. It was a horrible position I was put in, but I also understood that business is business. I was able to interview two individuals about their perceptions of my personal conflict style of integrating. Integration is “characterized by both high concern for self and for others. This involves openness, exchange of information, and examination of differences to reach an effective solution acceptable to both parties” (Copley, 2008).I first interviewed my mom, and her perception of my conflict style was integration as well. She stated that I always speak up for myself, as well as others, and always try to find a solution to any conflict. She also stated that I am a very honest and straightforward person, and I always say what needs to be said. The only negative thing my mom said about my conflict style is that sometimes I say things that I shouldn’t say, even if it is true. The second person I interviewed was one of my co-workers, and her perception of my conflict style is obliging. She mentioned that I tend to care a lot about others, sometimes more than myself, and that I try to be everywhere at once at work because I am a perfectionist and make sure everything is done correctly. She also said when there are conflicts, I am very nurturing and caring, considering I am an empath, and she notices that I tend to put my feelings aside in order to feel what other people feel. I would see this as a negative factor of the style she perceives me as, because it seems as if I just want to make everyone happy in conflict regardless of how I feel, in order to resolve the conflict faster. I believe the positives about me having the style of integration is being able to properly communicate with other individuals, while not holding back on what needs to be said, while the positives for the obliging style is being able to listen and be nurturing towards other people.

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Looking back on the destructive conflict that recently occurred, the conflict style I would’ve adopted would be an integrating approach. It would have allowed me to be more concerned about what was going on and why it was going on, instead of pointing the finger and escalating the conversation into argument. I think if I were to have a more mature conversation and ask questions on why things were happening the way they were, and make sure my friend understood where I was coming from as well, the conversation would not have resulted in arguing, immaturity, and disrespect. I noticed that both of us were using the avoidance style in order to stray away from the main point of the conversation by bringing our personal lives into the discussion. References Copley, R. D. (2008, August 13). Conflict management styles : A predictor of likability and perceived effectiveness among subordinates . CORE. https://core.ac.uk/display/46956063? utm_source=pdf&utm_medium=banner&utm_campaign=pdf-decoration-v1 Curran, C., Henry, M., & Islam, M. A. (2023, March 29). Destructive and constructive conflict: What’s the difference? Destructive vs Constructive Conflict: What’s the Difference? https://learn.rumie.org/jR/bytes/destructive-and-constructive-conflict- what-s-the-difference/ Hocker, . (2021). EBOOK online access for interpersonal conflict (11th ed.). McGraw-Hill Higher Education (US). PON STAFF. (2023, May 10). Fostering constructive conflict in team negotiation . PON. https://www.pon.harvard.edu/daily/conflict-resolution/fostering-constructive- conflict-in-teams-nb/ University of Minnesota Libraries Publishing edition, 2017. This edition adapted from a work originally produced in 2010 by a publisher who has requested that it not receive attribution. (2017, January 4). 10.3 causes and outcomes of conflict . Organizational Behavior.

https://open.lib.umn.edu/organizationalbehavior/chapter/10-3-causes-and- outcomes-of-conflict/

Benchmark - Conflict

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