Benchmark Attitudes and Beliefs Reflection
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Feb 20, 2024
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Running head: BENCHMARK ATTITUDES AND BELIEFS REFLECTION 1
Benchmark and attitudes and Beliefs Reflection Felicia R. Montgomery
Liberty University
Benchmark Attitudes and Beliefs Reflection 2
Abstract
After carefully examining my beliefs and the American Counseling Association Code of Ethics (ACA) I have found that as a counselor I must be able to use professionalism in order to promote the respect for those I counsel. In this paper I will discuss and examine my strong beliefs as well as my values as a counselor. After completing the Benchmark and Attitudes and Beliefs Inventory I have decided to choose the three questions with the strongest reactions that was difficult for me to answer. The questions I will be answering within this paper are: 1. A man who wants to leave his wife and children for the sake of sexual adventures with other women, 2. A teenager who is having unsafe sex and sees no problem with the behavior, and 3. A woman who comes with her husband for couples counseling while maintaining an extramarital affair. As I cover each topic, I will cover the reaction which caused my feelings, my response, or my values and finally my action or what I need to wok on as a counselor.
Keywords:
Reaction, Values and Beliefs, Action, and Response.
Benchmark Attitudes and Beliefs Reflection 3
Benchmark Attitudes and Beliefs Reflection
According to the American Counseling Association also called ACA (2014), I should maintain autonomy, nonmaleficence, beneficence, justice, fidelity, and veracity at all times while counseling others. As a counselor my primary focus should be the client and not my personal beliefs for any reason. I should always respect the client’s dignity and encourage the well-being of my client. I must also always avoid harming or trying to force my values on any client in my care. As a counselor for couples and family I must “discriminate or condone discrimination based on age, color, culture, disability, ethnic group, gender, race, language preference, religion, spirituality, sexual orientation, or socioeconomic status” (Ballard et al. 2018, p. 5).
Reaction:
We will begin with my first reaction in which I have selected for discussion which is a man who wants to leave his wife and children for the sake of sexual adventures with other women. The second reaction is a teenager who is having unsafe sex and sees no problem with their behavior and finally a woman who comes with her husband for couples counseling while maintaining an extramarital affair. As a woman of God and a counselor I am aware of other people and their feelings while trying to understand the lifestyles others chose for their lives. As for a man who decides he would like to leave his family to partake in his own desire of sexual adventures with other women has sparked some thoughts in my mind that seem to be personal to me. As I began to ponder this first question, I believe this was something personal for me. This was personal to me because I have witnessed this type of behavior several times whether it was in my own marriage or with a family member or friend. As this question has been opposed to me, I have had to
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carefully take inventory of myself and how I can successfully help others with these issues in their lives. With this question placed up front in my life at this time I believe I am able to look into other cultural norms as well as values to learn what others might have been taught or learned from their parents. According to USA Today, there are men who cheat for different reasons with who some cheat for sex, emotional gain, attention from someone other than their mate, or to feel important. The study of men cheating shows that least 60% of married men cheat with a slightly lower number for women. Cheating can also be about meeting their own need or gratification (2011). My second reaction of teenager having unsafe sex and sees no problem with their behavior I believe came from children I have witnessed several teenagers doing this inappropriate behavior in school and in the church. Growing up, I was taught that sex was a sin if you were not married to that person. In the church I grew up in a teenager would have to go before the church and ask for forgiveness if they became pregnant. I never believed in anything like this, as a matter of fact I thought it was foolishness to make a person ask for forgiveness. I only ever witnessed the girls asking for forgiveness but never the boys. This was not one of my values I learned however, having sex and not caring about your body being the temple of God was and is a value I learned. For this cause this statement brought question as to how I feel about having no problem with unsafe sex. My final reaction is in reference to the women who decides to engage in counseling with her husband and still remain in her extramarital affair while in counseling. This response can very well tie in with my first response of a man leaving his family for his own sexual gratification. Both of these reactions did however bring great thought to my mind as well as thought to the values taught in our family growing up. I am not in agreement with anyone agreeing to partake in counseling and continue with their sin. As I did not consider prayer and of the Code of Ethics, it seems to be a waste of their time. However, as a counselor I
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must consider every possibility in a person’s life to want a change even if it not in the beginning of their counseling sessions.
Response:
Growing up my parents and grandparents taught me certain values some I still hold on to and some I have let go. I was taught that sex was created by God and is a good thing however, without being married it is considered a sin. Family values such as infidelity and premarital sex is definitely something that was taught by many adults while growing up. Infidelity can cause a lot of hurt and pain whether it be caused by the husband or the wife. Gordan and Mitchell (2020), suggest that infidelity occurs in approximately 25% of all marriages and is described as an emotional or sexual act occurring outside of a relationship. When infidelity occurs, it can be devasting for the that relationship and trust can be broken. Collins (2007), states that “there are cultural differences around the world.” This statement alone makes me believe that not all family members go by the same beliefs even if taught within the family. Some family members can choose the family value they want in life and forget about the rest just as I have done. However, there are some family members who decide to continue the family values for life. “Spirituality and sexuality are two fundamental forces in life that cannot be ignored. Both can bring wonder and amazement, euphoria, physical and emotional arousal, a closeness to others, and a sense of God’s presence. Both can be used to manipulate others or to bring great fulfillment in life” (Collins, 2007). According to this statement I believe that if we have been taught good values it is possible to have great relationships. When the core values of life are not followed it is a possibility that infidelity, premarital sex and other values can be set aside. Moreover, it is possible that not all families have the same values of life. Some families might
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not use the Word of God to create their family values as my family. “For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit (Romans 8:5 NKJV). Furthermore, Galatians 5:19-21 (NKJV) tells us that it is evident that the works of the flesh is adultery, fornication, uncleanness idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand. As I think about this scripture it reminds me of a good family value if the rules of premarital sex or infidelity are not brought into a relationship how amazing marriage could be. Action:
In response to this entire reflection of my personal life values I believe that I need to pray more about the areas I have covered in this reflection paper. I do believe that I will never hold any client’s personal family values against them for any reason. As a professional counselor I will make certain to seek supervision and or counseling to address any issues I might have with the issues at hand (Ballard et al. 2018, p.7). The ACA Code of Ethics (2014) reminds me that I must avoid imposing any of my own personal beliefs, values, attitudes, or behaviors on anyone (A.4.b.). In this case whatever I believe I will not share with a client, nor will I show any concerns of their family values. I will therefore make certain to only provide clients with information that is based only on scientific theories, sound techniques and only the viewpoints that will encourage their life. In conclusion, I plan to continue working on my own values, beliefs, behavior, and my attitude. As a counselor I will continue to encourage my clients and always avoid harming them in any way. I will seek counseling in order to clear my own thoughts and gain better
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understanding of clients and their values. “Counselors generally pursue their own therapy or supervision in order to become aware of and appropriately manage countertransference (Eriksen and Weld, 2007).
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References
American Counseling Association (ACA) Code of Ethics counseling.org
BibleGateway Online,
https://www.biblegateway.com/
Collins, G., Ph.D (2007) Christian Counseling Third Edition A Comprehensive Guide
Eriken, K., & Weld, C. (2007), The American Counseling Association, Counseling and Values Issues and Insight the Ethics of Prayer in Counseling
Gordan, KC., & Mitchell, E. (2020), Family Process Infidelity in the Tome of COVID-19 Vol. 59, No. 3, 2020 Doi: 10.1111/famp.12576
The Author(s) (2018), The Family Journal: Counseling and Therapy for Couples and Families Vol,26(1) 5-10 International Association of Marriage and Family Counselors Ethic Codes. DOI: 10.1177/1066480718756607
USA Today (2011)
Gale Business Insight: Global Society for the advancement of education. http://bi.gale.com.ezproxy.liberty.edu/global/artical/GALE%7CA247443538?U=vic_ liberty
Benchmark Attitudes and Beliefs Reflection 9
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