Family Assessment - Trouble with Evan Part A.(1)

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Family Assessment: Trouble with Evan Part A 1 Family Assessment - Trouble with Evan Part A. Laura Jeffery Student Number: 100868584 SSW, DC COUN 3501: Family and Family Systems Professor: Jaime Lee Friday, November 3rd, 2023

Family Assessment: Trouble with Evan Part A 2 Introduction Today, I met with the Desjardin family. The family consists of parents Karen and Michael (Mike) and children Kimberly, age 7, and Evan, age 11, who is the identified patient. The daughter, Kimberly, is both Mike and Karen’s biological daughter. Evan is Karen's son from a previous marriage, making Mike Evans stepdad. The family has come to me in hopes of getting help, as Evan is troubled with behaviour issues. Since the age of four, Evan was diagnosed with “conduct disorder” (Fifth Estate, 1994) due to his behaviour and demeanour. Mike and Karen explained that Evan is often in trouble for smoking, bullying other children at school, shoplifting, stealing from his parents, and gross disobedience. Due to Evan’s behaviour problems, Karen and Mike are under severe psychological stress, trying to figure out where their parenting went wrong. In addition, Evan’s behaviour was also straining his relationship with his parents and caused Mike and Karen stress as they tried to think of different ways to improve their relationship with their son. After getting to know Evan and his family, I have identified issues within their family system that need to be addressed as they directly relate to Evan's behaviour and the source of dysfunction. The three main issues that I have identified are the following issues presenting in the parent-child subsystem, the presence of triangulation, and an unhealthy sign of multigenerational transmission patterns. Identified Issues #1 The first issue I am identifying is the parent-child subsystem involving Mike and Evan doesn’t meet the key functions. In a health-functioning parent-child subsystem, we would see nurturance, guidance, child rearing, limit setting, role modelling, and discipline. However, Mike does not believe men should display affection or emotion; this is especially true towards

Family Assessment: Trouble with Evan Part A 3 other men. Mike seems to engage more with Kimberly and portrays interest and affection towards her. He is more affectionate with Kimberly than Evan because he believes girls need tender love and boys do not. The lack of nurture from Mike would affect Evans's ability to connect and build meaningful relationships with others and his sense of self-worth. Another unhealthy function happening within Mike and Evans's parental subsystem would be the way Mike communicates with Evan. Mike always blames Evan when something alarming transpires instead of sitting down and calmly discussing the situation. For example, when Mike discovered that their freezer was unplugged and some of their food spoiled, he automatically assumed Evan was at fault. Mike yells, screams, and curses at Evan, which results in Evan shutting Mike out and hardly responding. Children who are constantly screamed at are more likely to have behavioural problems and emotional issues. Identified Issue #2 The second issue I am identifying is the presence of triangulation between Evan and his parents. Triangulation, in the family context, is the involvement of a child in parental conflict as a way to defuse tension within the spousal subsystem. Mike and Karen's spousal subsystem is not a healthy-functioning subsystem, as they have both verbally and physically abused one another. In a healthy-functioning marital subsystem, we would see signs of emotional support, intimacy, and personal growth and development. Evan’s behaviours correlate by being triangulated in Mike and Karen’s marital problems repeatedly. In an attempt to end the cycle of triangulation, Evan displays negative behaviours to try and create distance between himself and his parent’s affairs. Evan’s negative behaviours disclose the need for repairing the unhealthy subsystem. An example of triangulation Evan experienced would be when Mike had full custody of both kids and was persuaded Evan was trying to break Karen and him up, as this would allow

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Family Assessment: Trouble with Evan Part A 4 Evan to go live with his mom. Mike has also blamed Evan and his behaviour for being the reason why Karen and him weren’t getting along. Over time, triangulation can negatively impact Evan’s self-esteem and potentially lead to other mental health issues. Identified Issue #3 The third issue I’ve identified is an unhealthy sign of multigenerational transmission patterns. Both Mike and Karen have been a part of a childhood crisis in their childhood years that has been transmitted over to their relationship with one another and their son. During our time together, Mike admits to having a strict father when he was young. Since Mike’s father failed to give him physical love as a child and was strict, Mike is unaffectionate towards Evan and strict. Growing up, Karen saw and witnessed the negative relationship between her mother and father, which, unfortunately, conveyed to Karen’s relationship with Mike in her adult years. Although Karen and Mike are aware of their childhood trauma, they both overlook that they are transmitting similar negative behaviours to one another and Evan. There is a sense of disengagement between Mike and Evan due to Mike not knowing how to communicate other than through cursing and yelling. Mike also mentioned that his dad never played with him as a child and only expected him to work. Mike is now lacking the nurturing aspect of parenting due to his own father’s parenting ways. When parents emotionally neglect their children, their children can struggle to express their feelings or experience symptoms of a mental health disorder in later years. Strengths Although there are a fair amount of issues surrounding the Desjardins family, it is crucial to note and recognize the strengths I have noticed in their effort to help their son, Evan. The first strength I am identifying is that Mike and Karen mentioned that they have started attending

Family Assessment: Trouble with Evan Part A 5 parenting classes and have been attempting to use the skills and techniques they have learned. An example brought up was when Mike is speaking to Evan; Mike has been trying to maintain a gentle tone rather than yelling and cursing. The second strength this family shows is appreciation for one another. For example, Evan and his parents mentioned that one night, Evan took it upon himself to make dinner for his family. Mike and Karen were both very thankful and appreciative of his generous behaviour. A family needs to show appreciation for each other, as it allows them to strengthen their family relationship. The third strength of this family that I noticed was resilience. Both Karen and Mike have acknowledged some of the mistakes they have made and are learning from their past experiences. They are also working towards making changes as a family. The fourth strength I am identifying is every member of the Desjardin family is very emotionally intelligent. By listening to each member discuss emotional issues, such as childhood trauma, they recognize and understand how it makes them feel. Emotional intelligence is even apparent with 11-year-old Evan when speaking about his poor behaviour and needing more attention. The last strength I noticed with the Desjardin family is that they are exceptionally persistent. Despite having gone through a great deal of trauma, Mike and Karen are still trying to improve as parents and find support for Evan. This is shown by the effort of going to family counselling.

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