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Running head: TRAUMA EXPOSURE AND PSYCHOLOGICAL DISTRESS 1 1 inch margins please. The header does not get centered. Trauma Exposure and Psychological Distress Among Australian Firefighters Lalia Sasare WRIT 1000

TRAUMA EXPOSURE AND PSYCHOLOGICAL DISTRESS 2 Trauma Exposure and Psychological Distress Among Australian Firefighters Milligan-Saville et al. (2018) in the article entitled “The impact of trauma exposure on the development of PTSD and psychological distress in a volunteer fire service”, published in Psychiatry Research , highlights the fact that the individuals involved in the fire services often have to face situations like psychological distress as well as the PTSD due to the regular exposure to trauma. The following paper makes an attempt at the summarization of the key concepts that have been highlighted in within the given article for discussion. Delete this last sentence. Instead provide one sentence where you explain the details of the questionnaire – subjects, location, volunteer, etc. Then follow that with the high-level idea of the article which will basically the main result of their study. Take a look at the samples I posted to Moodle for what needs to be in the intro. You don’t need to announce your task, but just get into the article right away. Milligan-Saville et al. (2018) state that there are a huge number of service workers in the emergency departments where? What type of service workers? Be specific. who have to deal in the traumatic experiences due to the greater amount of the stress that they face during their working hours. Awkward sentence construction. Write one topic sentence. What is this paragraph going to summarize? The article further highlights the fact that one of the major reasons behind the issues that are faced by the individuals you still haven’t identified the subjects of the study as volunteer fireman in New South Wales. Can you see how you are dealing only in generalizations? Did you do a tree diagram to encompass the whole article? refer to the lack of the support services that should be provided to the volunteers who have been serving in the given posts . Can you see how vague this is. You just have to say the volunteer fireman . The article was composed Passive voice. Use reporting expressions…Milligan- Saville et al. surveyed … with the

TRAUMA EXPOSURE AND PSYCHOLOGICAL DISTRESS 3 help of the survey responses that were filled in by over 459 members who had been serving at one of the Australian volunteer fire services (Milligan-Saville et al., 2018, p. 1112). The article is observed to have been stating that there has been a rise in the traumatic experiences that have been affecting the volunteers’ active in the various traumatic rescue missions. Too wordy. Try being more direct. Millgan-Saville et al. state traumatic rescue missions that involve….what? two types that they identify in particular…have resulted in a higher reporting of psychological issues…or something like that. The article has been composed on the basis of the responses that were collected from the staff or the volunteers who had been serving the New South Wales Rural Fire Service or the NSW RFS through the use of an online survey. Put this in the intro or at least in the second paragraph. By paragraph 3 you should be talking about things like volunteer fireman being assaulted or trapped as the most traumatic experiences or the need for recovery from symptoms of distress before going back on duty. The analysis of the collected data stated that the individuals who had been involved in the volunteering services for the distressing incidents were majorly affected due to the high amount of the psychiatric morbidity put in quotes or some of this is plagiarism. You are passing any words that are not in quotes as your own . (p. 1112). There are stats provided in the article – you are missing low-level detail that would enrich your summary. Why not provide the numbers? The outcomes further suggested that the people who have been serving as volunteers to the firefighting services tend to face a greater amount of trauma as compared to the other individuals (p. 1112). The article further stated use reporting expressions please the fact that the concerned individuals who have frequently been subjected to a certain type of critical incidents tend to develop a risky situation of psychiatric symptomatology (p. 1113). The article further noted all these sentence openings are in passive

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TRAUMA EXPOSURE AND PSYCHOLOGICAL DISTRESS 4 voice. Just keep writing Milligan-Savile et al. write or state or report – use those reporting expressions that the incidents that involve the deaths of children or adults might not affect the concerned person in a crude manner like the incidents that involve extreme violence or mass devastation. Milligan-Saville et al. (2018) nears the conclusion of article with the discussion on the fact that the increased exposure to the distressing and the traumatic experiences often lead to the increase in the development of PTSD among the concerned individuals . Again, the article deals with not just “concerned individuals” but New South Wales volunteer fireman. Can you see how you write in generalizations when the article itself is very specific? In conclusion it can be stated that the increase in the Milligan-Savile et al. conclude that traumatic experiences – you still haven’t talked about which ones in particular. Name them above in the appropriate place . often lead to the increase in the trauma and mental breakdown of the volunteering staff. The huge amount of the stress that the concerned individuals go through tends to have been leading to the increase in the trauma among the individuals. Lalia, I am concerned with this summary in that you deal with the article at a very high-level. In other words, there are a lot of generalizations. You need to get into the specifics so that if this was indeed a summary of the article published somewhere, it would reflect more of the specific information that the scientists looked at, where, when, what is significant about it. I would highly recommend that you look at the World Trade Summary/Trump student summary on Moodle. Focus on how detailed the summary is. Every paragraph deals with a different aspect of the article and provides significant detail or a quote here and there to back up what the article is saying. Don’t be overwhelmed by all the red ink. Doing the revisions wouldn’t involve as much as you think. The bare bones are there already.

TRAUMA EXPOSURE AND PSYCHOLOGICAL DISTRESS 5 1. Use more reporting expresssions and lose those long-winded and wordy openings like “The article is observed to have been stating that there” That can be replace with Milligan-Saville et al. state.. 2. Add in key low level details. 3. Provide more detail in the intro and the following paragraph such as who was surveyed, where, and why so that the paragraphs that follow can deal with the results. 4. Make sure you mention the most traumatic of experiences and what the detailed recommendations are from the study. If you need more time to revise, then take until Saturday evening. Come with a revision Thursday and we can talk more about it at the break. With the article test prior to class, I won’t have time to meet with you then. (Word count=520)

TRAUMA EXPOSURE AND PSYCHOLOGICAL DISTRESS 6 References Milligan-Saville, J., Choi, I., Deady, M., Scott, P., Tan, L., Calvo, R. A., Bryant, R.A., Glozier, N. & Harvey, S. B. (2018). The impact of trauma exposure on the development of PTSD and psychological distress in a volunteer fire service. Psychiatry research , 270 , 1110-1115. Great!

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