Final Project PHL 111
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School
Southern New Hampshire University *
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Course
111
Subject
Philosophy
Date
Jan 9, 2024
Type
docx
Pages
6
Uploaded by belladonna132413
Ericka Mathis
Final Project Essay
PHL 111
Online or Offline?
Human beings long for connection and that connection can come in different forms
.
The ultimate connection is that of a romantic partner with whom you can build a life
.
From a young age we are taught that finding true love is the ultimate goal in order to bring happiness into our lives
.
The question remains
,
how do you find your other half in a world that moves further and further into virtual realities? Technology has changed the way we meet and connect with others and dating has been no exception
.
As a single woman in 2019 I’ve spent a lot of time building my career and meeting a potential mate at a bar gets more dangerous by the day
,
turning to online dating has been one possible solution to finding my meant to be
.
But is online dating truly
better than offline
,
or more traditional dating?
There are positive and negative attributes to both online and offline dating which Julie Spira dissects in her blog post
,
Online Dating vs
.
Offline Dating: Pros and Cons
.
Ultimately Spira concludes that the best course of action for someone looking for a partner is a combination of online and offline dating
.
Her final argument being that “the goal of online dating is to take your relationship offline
.
” (Spira, 2013)
Finding and cultivating a relationship online can help get
to know your potential mate
,
however if the relationship does not make it off the website or application the ability to grow a sustainable relationship diminishes
.
Pursuing a relationship online opens up your pool of potential mates
,
as there are “over 40 million singles in the U
.
S
.
” that have created profiles and tried online dating
.
(Spira, 2013)
Additionally there is a greater potential to meet people outside of your social
,
work
,
and geographical circle offering you additional options
.
Another advantage to online dating is the convenience of having the website or application available at any time
.
If you keep non-
traditional working hours that is a big win
.
Dating sites advertise different algorithms to help you
find your best mate which also enhances your chances
.
The disadvantages to online dating mirror
many of the advantages
.
Having access to singles in your area all the time can be overwhelming
,
and there is potential that those you are connecting with are not being truthful
.
Offline dating has some similar pitfalls
.
Spira points out being introduced to someone through mutual friends will ensure you have something in common
,
your friend may not have all
the information and their “relationship status” may not be clear
.
This can be a pitfall of meeting people in a group setting
,
as you may not know if someone is truly interested in you or just the group dynamic
.
(Spira, 2013)
By looking at both pros and cons for the different avenues for dating Spira’s argument that remaining open to both possibilities it what will make for a successful dating life rings true
.
Spira is a bestselling author of a book about online dating and is considered an expert in the field
.
This allows her argument to be unbiased and accessible to the reader
.
While Spira’s argument is sound there is another side to online dating and the unfortunate
side effect it is having on relationships
.
John Walters argues that online dating has turned “love into a consumer product”
.
(Walters, 2011)
Walters continues his argument that by pushing online dating applications and websites to the public
,
making them available all the time
,
and making dating about “rational choices” we have tried to make interpersonal relationships
,
which are inherently irrational
,
logical
.
(Walters, 2011)
Trying to create a formula for how well someone will get along with another person takes away the human aspect of meeting them
,
it turns any potential mates or partners into a product that you can swipe left or right on without consequence
.
When you are introduced to someone offline by a mutual friend or acquaintance there is an initial thrill
,
usually attributed to nerves
,
of the unknown
.
You are eager to meet this potential
mate and you put your best foot forward
,
during the initial first date you may find out things you like or don’t like about them and ultimately you decide if you will see them again
.
Online takes away a lot of those human emotions by showing you someone’s photo and small profile that has been written by them
.
You are then able to say “yes” or “no” to even speaking to them without any other knowledge
.
Online dating is snap judgements and no looking back and while you may start a conversation oftentimes without the personal connection or set up time to meet someone conversations fall flat and the potential for a date or relationship ends before it begins
.
Walters further discusses the pitfalls of online dating by pointing out the dullness of profile questions meant to filter through potential matches
.
Trying to find a match based on
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basic
,
multiple choice
,
questions takes out the humanity of relationships
.
Love is irrational and unexpected
,
it is often without reason and sometimes without cause
,
it is impossible for a formula to calculate true compatibility within those parameters
.
I have been both an online and an offline dater
.
I have matched potential partners online and met offline to see if our compatibility sustained and found that our conversations were too guarded online
.
Without the human element in the conversation it has been too easy to tell half-
truths and believe our own intent without understanding the other persons
.
I have also met partners through mutual friends and been in long-term relationships that ended with hurt feelings and heart break
.
When looking back on past relationships I have found that my longer relationships have been those that started offline and my shorter
,
fleeting relationships have started online
.
This has influenced my own beliefs that meeting someone in a traditional way will be more beneficial for me
.
That being said
,
last year two of my cousins got married and both
of them met their significant other online
.
They were both in college at the time and their matches also attended the same college which may have contributed to the success of their relationship due to proximity
.
This has shown me that dating whether online or offline must be a personal choice and that ultimately there is no fool proof way to find a mate
.
When looking at an argument or issue it’s important to view it objectively while removing personal biases
,
this is what I attempted when researching online dating
.
I found it difficult to remove myself from the equation as it is something I have pursued personally and have strong feelings on
.
I was however able to view the topic through a different lens as I read
through the different articles and participated in different discussions with my classmates
,
friends
,
and family
.
This helped me see multiple sides of the argument and while my own personal feelings did not change
,
being able to see another side is an important skill
.
I look forward to bringing my refined skills of critical thinking to my job
.
Oftentimes I am asked to see multiple sides of a situation and work with a group of peers to find a solution
.
By being aware of my own biases I can attempt to look past them and see the bigger picture
.
I ask my employees each day to think critically about what they are doing for their customers
,
and why they make the decisions they make
.
This class has helped me see that there have been holes in the information I have provided which has resulted in less than favorable results in performance and confusion on what my expectations are for my employees
.
By providing them a
fundamental knowledge of policies and procedures they will be better equipped to use critical thinking and make positive choices
.
Citations
Spira
,
J
.
(2013
,
December 3)
.
Online Dating Vs
.
Offline Dating: Pros and Cons
.
Retrieved from HuffPost: https://www
.
huffpost
.
com/entry/online-dating-vs-offline_b_4037867
Walters
,
J
.
(2011
,
July 25)
.
Online dating is eroding humanity
.
Retrieved from The Guardian: https://www
.
theguardian
.
com/commentisfree/2011/jul/25/online-dating-love-product
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