Know

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Dec 6, 2023

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1 The "Know" Dimension in the Relationship Attachment Model (RAM) Samantha Davidson Department of Home and Family, Brigham Young University-Idaho FAML 200: Preparation for Marriage Sister Russo October 23, 2023

2 Know Define and Describe In the context of the Relationship Attachment Model (RAM), the "Know" dimension refers to the fundamental and crucial process of truly getting to know one's potential or current spouse on a deep and intimate level (John Van Epp, 2008). It involves understanding their personality, values, beliefs, desires, and dreams. Knowing your partner goes beyond surface- level familiarity; it requires a profound connection where you are aware of your partner's core essence. The "Know" dimension is important because it lays the foundation for a strong and enduring relationship. Knowing your partner deeply helps build trust and emotional intimacy. It allows you to make an informed and thoughtful decision about whether to commit to a lifetime partnership. This dimension is a crucial precursor to the subsequent stages in the RAM model, as it sets the stage for building trust, reliance, commitment, and physical intimacy (John Van Epp, 2008). Gospel The gospel teachings offer valuable insights into the importance of deeply understanding one's partner. Several passages from gospel sources emphasize this dimension. Proverbs 31:10-11 (King James Version) underscores the significance of knowing one's spouse, as trust is built upon a deep understanding of one another (Proverbs 31:10-11). In this passage, the virtuous woman is celebrated, highlighting the trust that her husband places in her. President Russell M. Nelson, stressed the importance of the choices we make, emphasizing that these decisions determine our spiritual growth, both in the present and for eternity. In his article "Decisions for Eternity," he highlighted the pivotal role of self-mastery,

3 encouraging individuals to prioritize reason over appetite to develop a strong conscience, thereby influencing moral responses in challenging situations. He underscored the significance of adhering to God's doctrine, particularly in terms of maintaining chastity before marriage and fidelity within it, as these choices lead to enduring happiness and peace. President Nelson's teachings reiterate the significance of making daily decisions that align with God's eternal plan, emphasizing the crucial role of self-mastery and adherence to divine principles in shaping our spiritual destiny (Nelson, 2013). Incorporating these gospel principles in one's life can lead to a profound and meaningful understanding of a partner, strengthening the foundation of a loving and lasting marital relationship. Apply Applying the "Know" dimension in your life requires intentional and ongoing efforts. This involves creating a safe space for open and honest communication, where thoughts, feelings, and life goals can be freely shared, fostering a deeper connection. Active listening is essential, demonstrating a commitment to valuing each other's input. Spending quality time together, engaging in shared activities, and studying gospel teachings promote understanding, meaningful discussions, and spiritual growth. In conclusion, the "Know" dimension is a critical component of the Relationship Attachment Model, laying the foundation for a lasting and meaningful relationship. Rooted in gospel truths, this deep knowledge of one's partner is not only a vital step but also a sacred responsibility in building a marriage based on love, trust, and commitment. To apply this dimension in your life active efforts are essential, fostering a profound understanding of your partner's heart and mind through open communication, shared experiences, and spiritual growth.

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4 References John Van Epp. (2008). How to avoid falling in love with a jerk : the foolproof way to follow your heart without losing your mind . Mcgraw-Hill Contemporary Learning ; London. Nelson, R. M. (2013, October). Decisions for Eternity . Www.churchofjesuschrist.org. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2013/10/decisions-for- eternity?lang=eng The Doctrine and Covenants . (2013). The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/88?lang=eng The Holy Bible : King James version. (2013). The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/ot/prov/31?lang=eng

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