4 Mat Book Review Pegues
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Liberty University *
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610
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Mathematics
Date
Feb 20, 2024
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docx
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Uploaded by dcjones21
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Carolyn Faines
LEAD 610
4 Mat Book Review: Pegues
April 29, 2016
Dr. Debbie Warren
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Abstract
This book is kind of a backup for The Peacemaker
. It gives a detailed guide with biblical help. In other words, the Bible is used to prove the points in Confronting without Offending: Positive and Practical Steps to Resolving Conflict
. There are five parts to this book. Part one, Confrontation: The Bridge to Harmony, discusses the goal of confrontation and what the Bible says about what must be done when dealing with it. Confrontations are the cause for many misunderstandings and relationship breakups. Pegues gives information on overlooking an offense and what should be done about it. Proverbs 19:11 says, “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.” (ESV) It may be a misunderstanding so give it time and maybe it will blow over. But what you should never do is let something continue to manifest because adventurely there is going to be a problem. In part two, Biblical Confrontation and Conflict Management Styles, Pegues gives detailed information on the different styles of conflict management. They include the dictator, the accommodator, the abdicator and the collaborator. Pegues describes the styles as follows: the dictator as “do it my way”, the accommodator as “have it your way”, the abdicator as “I’ll run away”, and the collaborator as “let’s find a way” (Pegues, D. S., 2009). Each title is given its own section so that you can get a better understanding of it. Part three deals with Strategies for an Effective Confrontation. This chapter helps people understand the process of confrontation. There are six steps that are discussed that uses real life stories to show us how to use them along with the Bible. From being prepared for the encounter with the person to forgiving the person of their offense, this chapter is
very useful. Part four, The P.A.C.E. Personality Profile, better helps you understand the temperament of the other person (Pegues, D. S., 2009, pg. 128). It uses the make-up of the different people found on an airplane. There is a quiz that starts on page 128 that is designed to
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determine a person’s dominant temperament. The last one, part five, Confrontation Guidelines for Selected Situations, gives different scenarios of what can and may happen in your life each day. These scenarios range from family to a person’s social life. He gives guidelines on how to resolve these conflicts and get back into the right standings with one another. Conflict is found wherever we go, so why not equip yourself with the know how of resolving anything that comes your way. Concrete Response
Part two of this book brought back memories of what happened to me some years back. I won’t go into details but I can tell you how I felt. I experienced a couple of the conflict management styles in my life and I am still experiences them. When the situation first came upon me I wanted to run away. I just wanted to move clean across to the other side of the US. I figured if they couldn’t find me than I wouldn’t have to face my circumstance. My ministry, my life, my reason for being here just stop even existing. I did go into hiding but from myself. I was walking and breathing but it just wasn’t me that people were seeing. In reading this book I see that I was an abdicator. It took me two years to fight my way out of that state of mind. The one thing that I refuse to do was give up on God. Yes, I crawled into myself but I never gave up on believing that God did and does exist. After the two years, I came into the realization that God is still good and that the situation that I was going through was nobody fault but my own. It was then that I took on the mindset of the collaborator. I knew I could not die there. God had more for me to do. I knew that with God’s help there was a way to survive this. Romans 8:31 says, “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” (ESV) At first it seemed that God was out to get me. I couldn’t understand or didn’t want to understand why now when things were finally lining up for me. All that God is, has and does is for my good.
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Especially when it seems like He is against me. All I can say is that I love the Lord because He heard my cry!
Reflection
This book was a very good read. The information that it offered was helpful and useable to all who needs it. But one question I have would be, is there a workbook that goes with this one? It would be very helpful to give scenarios so people would know how to use the information that they have received. I mean face it, is there any way to get through a confrontation without fighting? Some people know no other way. There are those who have never read the Bible. Yes, it is true, but how can we get this message to people who have a problem reading the Bible? I mean, the only way that the advice in this book works is with the word of God. The section on being specific was very interesting. After reading through it I realize that there could still be problems because some people may take offence to the straight forwardness of acknowledging what the problem is or was. Is there some other way to put all the cards on the table? I know it is the correct way to deal with confrontation but there has to be a way to do it without causing so much pain. How about making some type of exercise to help break the ice before discussing the problem? What about when a new manager is hired every time you get use to the other one? How do we apply the concepts in the book if the reader knows that the group is going to have to get use to a new manager? Action
So, I guess I have some work to do. Pegues says that the problems that are experienced in
many organizations mainly deal with people dealing with other people (Pegues, D. S., 2009, pg. 127). As I read in the book, I need to find out my co-worker’s personality temperament. So, what
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I’m going to do is share the P.A.C.E. Personality Temperament Quiz with my co-workers. I am going to emphasize that honesty is very important so that it will show our temperaments. This way we can begin to assess our needs and fears. Following this they will receive a copy of Appendix I on page 173 so they can see an overview of the behavioral tendencies of themselves. After doing all of this we will sit down and discuss the results of each person’s test. When we understand one another temperaments, we can interact in a better way with one another whether at work or in any other environment. Also, communication is an important key in any relationship. In the bible, they built the Tower of Babel but once God cut off their communication with one another their progress stopped. I think that effective communication is lacking between me and my co-workers. So I will be introducing them to some of the conflict management styles. The one that we will spend the most time on will be the first one, the dictator. The problem most times on my job is the way things are done and handled. It is always their way or the highway, meaning it has to be done one
way all the time and nobody else opinion matters. We will also spend time going over the abdicator because some of the workers hide from their responsibilities. The abdicator would rather avoid responsibility than face it head on. At work we have abdicators that quit or don’t show up for work when they are faced with problems and decisions. We are going to get to the point of a collaborator and join forces so that we can get things accomplished for the company. A
collaborator always finds a way to get things done in a mature way. This means checking our egos at the door and pulling together for the common goal. We will discuss how to be flexible and make decisions that were not planned. This process will help us workers grow closer and not
be afraid to speak with one another concerning anything that comes up on the job.
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References
Pegues, D. S. (2009). Confronting Without Offending: Positive and Practical Steps to Resolving Conflict
. Eugene, OR: Harvest House.
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