Untitled document-6254102-1jm4erlrk8wf6_1j3eylabgmb8x
docx
keyboard_arrow_up
School
Cape Fear Community College *
*We aren’t endorsed by this school
Course
111
Subject
English
Date
Dec 6, 2023
Type
docx
Pages
9
Uploaded by DeaconMusicDonkey13
Brainfuse Response Form
Welcome to the Writing Lab!
Analysis and recommendations regarding specific parts of your paper are included in the tutor
response form. A copy of your paper is also posted below this form, and it includes additional
comments in brackets.
If you do not see the tutor’s comments or a tutor’s review appears to
be missing, please contact
info@brainfuse.com
. For specific questions about your paper,
please resubmit through the Brainfuse Writing Lab.
Thank you for choosing the Writing Lab. Best wishes with your revisions!
Part 1 – Organization
- The essay starts with an interesting piece of information about
spinner dolphins being the ocean's acrobats and introduces the topic effectively. It
incorporates several citations to support the information provided, enhancing the
credibility of the content.
The essay follows a generally logical structure, with an introduction, body
paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there are areas where the organization can be
improved. The thesis statement is not explicitly stated in the essay. It would be helpful to
have a clear and concise thesis statement that outlines the main argument or purpose of
the essay. Moreover, the topic sentences help introduce the main idea of each paragraph.
However, some of them could be more specific and focused on the content that follows.
Overall, the essay lacks cohesive transitions between paragraphs. Including transitional
words or phrases can help guide the reader smoothly through the arguments and enhance
the overall flow of the essay. For example, using words like "furthermore," "in addition,"
or "on the other hand" would help create more coherent connections between ideas.
Besides, the conclusion can be improved as suggested in the embedded comments.
Part 2 – Development
– Some ideas in the third paragraph need further development.
For instance, you mentioned, “
From a local standpoint, spinner dolphins create tourism,
which boosts the local economy, and even though this might be good for the community,
it is not good for their species.” Why is developing tourism not good for their species?
How does an increase in tourism affect their species? What are the factors that lead to
their extinction? Consider explaining these ideas for clarity.
Part 3 – Formatting and Style
Your paper shows strong word choices.
You have done a good job of maintaining a tone appropriate for academic readers.
However, there are some issues with the grammar usage in the essay. Check the
embedded comments.
Besides, there are some errors in the usage of the MLA format in the essay. For
instance, the header is missing that displays the last name of the author and the
current page number in the upper right corner of every page. Check the embedded
comments.
Useful Links:
Organization & Development:
For additional assistance with organization and development, please use the Brainfuse Essential
Guides. You can view the guides by clicking on the links below:
Organization Guide:
https://www.brainfuse.com/curriculumupload//1548955157024.pdf
Development Guide:
https://www.brainfuse.com/curriculumupload//1548955225649.pdf
Grammar, Usage, and Mechanics
For additional assistance identifying and editing errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics, please
use the Brainfuse Essential Grammar Guides.
You can view the guide by clicking on this link
below and logging in to Brainfuse:
Grammar Guide:
https://www.brainfuse.com/curriculumupload//1611937972116.pdf
If you would like a review focused on your grammar, usage, and mechanics, please request a
grammar only review
in the comment box.
Formatting
Please use the Brainfuse Style Guides for information on citation formatting.
APA – 6th Edition
:
https://www.brainfuse.com/curriculumupload//1514394321264.pdf
APA – 7th Edition:
https://www.brainfuse.com/curriculumupload//1579205682683.pdf
MLA
:
https://www.brainfuse.com/curriculumupload//1514393937280.pdf
Chicago Style
:
https://www.brainfuse.com/curriculumupload//1515512833067.pdf
Please make all changes to your own original file to maintain your intended formatting, headers,
and footers.
Hannah Jackson
Mr. Bo
Bio-112-81C
11 November 2023
Spinner Dolphins
[The first-line indent is missing.]
The subspecies of spinner dolphins have various stunning
features and interesting habitats and are becoming vulnerable to extinction due to different
human activities. Spinner dolphins are known as the ocean’s acrobats. They love to twist, flip,
and jump above the water’s surface. Spinner dolphins are famous due to their capability to spin
several times in a single jump
(Mesnick et al., 2019).
[Review the MLA rules for in-text
citations. The author-page number format is used in the MLA format.]
All the subspecies of
spinner dolphins are carnivores with different eating habits and a mostly dark gray physical
appearance. These marine animals are a potent tool for any scientist or researcher to demonstrate
the various ways in which these species have evolved to adapt to their environment over time.
For instance, the numerous ways in which they have evolved to communicate, such as through
intricate clicking or whistles, or the ways in which their bodies have streamlined to reduce drag
when they spin, or the numerous ways in which they have adapted to be able to dive hundreds of
meters below the surface of the water! These subspecies live in different types of habitats, but in
ancient times they were mostly found in Hawaii. Now they can be found in many tropical
environments, including Thailand, the Hawaiian Islands, and the Pacific Coast of Central
America! But due to the species disappearing so quickly, there are fewer and fewer spinner
dolphins in these locations.
[
The thesis statement is missing from the essay. It is important to
clearly state the main argument or claim about spinner dolphins' vulnerability to extinction. What
makes spinner dolphins unique? How does this type of dolphin benefit the local population?
Why is there a threat of extinction of spinner dolphins
?
Give the reader a brief preview of the
main points or arguments you will present in the body of your essay. This provides a roadmap
for the reader, letting them know what to expect in the upcoming discussion.]
Your preview ends here
Eager to read complete document? Join bartleby learn and gain access to the full version
- Access to all documents
- Unlimited textbook solutions
- 24/7 expert homework help
Different spinner dolphins’ subspecies around the globe seem to have various physical
appearances and eating habits. The Spinner dolphins’ subspecies vary in structure and
appearance, including how they are almost 6.5 feet long with a thin and long snout (Mesnick et
al., 2019). The most commonly known species of the spinner dolphin is the gray spinner, which
has
three-banded
[An article is missing.]
distinctive coloring that includes a lighter gray color on
the flanks, pale on the belly, and dark gray on the back (McElligot & Lammers, 2020).
Subspecies of spinner dolphins that live in the Easter Tropical Pacific have dark gray bodies
(Mesnick et al., 2019). Spinner dolphins are considered to be carnivore animals and feed mainly
on vertically migrating species. They mostly like to eat mesopelagic and epipelagic squid, along
with other mesopelagic fish (Mesnick et al., 2019). At night, these dolphins move to deeper
water to catch squid, different fish, and shrimp. This deeper water ranges from 650 to 1,000
feet. As the "deep scattering layer" gets closer to the surface, foraging starts in the late hours of
the day and lasts throughout the night. Based on recent research, the spinner dolphins follow
them inshore for a while because this food supply is near shore early in the night. Only the
spinner dolphins of Hawaii exhibit this shift in group size between activities during the day and
feeding at night. The eating habits and appearance of spinner dolphins also depend on their
habitat.
Spinner dolphins are found mostly in deep-water areas where they can track their prey easily;
however, they can also move to nearshore waters for various activities. Spinner dolphins are
known for migrating to mostly subtropical and all tropical waters around the globe across the
Indian, Pacific, and Atlantic oceans (Faria et al., 2020). Grey spinners can be found throughout
the subtropical and tropical ranges, except in regions of the ETP (Eastern Tropical Pacific) and
tropical Asia (Tyne et al., 2014). The eastern spinner can be found near the coasts of Central
and South America. Central American spinners can be found in a narrow habitat strip along
Central America's western coast (Mesnick et al., 2019). During daytime hours, these dolphins
can be seen in nearshore waters. They move to nearshore waters
for socializing, resting, and
nurturing
[Review the preposition and verb usage in the sentence.]
their young ones (Tyne et
al., 2014). These regions are typically calm and have relatively shallow and clear waters. They
usually have a sandy bottom, which presumably gives the dolphins an environment where they
could monitor visually for their predators (McElligot & Lammers, 2020). These dolphins use less
energy during the daytime for rest or to connect with one another in nearshore, shallow waters
like bays and lagoons that are surrounded by reefs and clear water. They also stay in shallow
water to keep safe from hunters like sharks and killer whales; they might also remain in their
nearby environment. From a local standpoint, spinner dolphins create tourism, which boosts the
local economy, and even though this might be good for the community, it is not good for their
species. Another amazing way this subspecies impacts the local population is through their
presence, and how this alone can promote environmental awareness and education among the
locals, which can ultimately lead to conserving marine life and habits, which benefits the
community as a whole! A change in habitat could result in the decline of the population of these
species which could be detrimental for the local community.
Spinner dolphins are declared a vulnerable species that could lead to extinction.
[The topic
sentence should reflect the main idea of the paragraph. What causes the decline in the
population of spinner dolphins? How are humans responsible for the decline in their numbers?
Consider these ideas to frame the topic sentence.]
The population of spinner dolphins is
declining at a much faster rate, which could pose a serious threat to their survival (Faria et al.,
2020). The most important cause of the decline in population size of this animal is considered to
be fishing (Faria et al., 2020). The population of Spinner dolphins is also suffering from coastal
development that could result in a lack of sheltered bays and resting areas for these animals
(Faria et al., 2020). Another cause of the rapid decrease in spinner dolphins Are humans
wanting to make money from them. An example of this is tourism, where you can ‘Swim with
dolphins or dolphin watching programs through boats. This is a serious threat to spinner
dolphins due to the high-risk close-range interaction with the dolphins by boats and humans.
These money-making interactions have shown a significant decrease in the amount of time
these animals have to rest. Another problem that needs to be addressed is the issue of marine
debris located in the Hawaiian Archipelago, which is home to small plastic particles and other
marine trash that poses a serious threat to spinner dolphins. These particles not only include
dangerous substances like DDEs and PCBs, but when consumed, they can also have a number
of negative impacts, including intestinal blockage and internal damage. Dolphins are injured or
killed when they become entangled in marine detritus, such as abandoned or lost fishing gear.
Spinner dolphins' total population size is reduced to almost 80% within just 20 years (McElligot
& Lammers, 2020). Ways we can maintain and support the population of this species include
increasing knowledge of the effects that tourism-related activities have on Hawaii's spinner
dolphin population; collaborating with NOAA to comprehend how nearshore fisheries interact
with one another and to more effectively focus efforts; finding linkages between accumulations
of marine debris and shipping channels and currents; and studying the effects and toxicity of
tiny plastic pellet waste on marine life. In the Northern Mexican Gulf and Hawaiian waters, the
population of spinner dolphins is almost 11971 and 3351, respectively (McElligot & Lammers,
2020). Similarly, in the southeastern Sulu Sea and northeastern Malaysian waters, almost
31,000 and 4000 spinner dolphins can be found, respectively (McElligot & Lammers, 2020).
This shows the important measures that are needed to control their population and keep this
wonderful species afloat!
All the subspecies of spinner dolphins are carnivores and have various color combinations on
the body. Spinner dolphins can live in both deep and shallow water and are distributed in
various oceans around the world. Moreover, the size of the population of spinner dolphins is
also declining rapidly, posing a major threat to their survival. The government and other
Your preview ends here
Eager to read complete document? Join bartleby learn and gain access to the full version
- Access to all documents
- Unlimited textbook solutions
- 24/7 expert homework help
authorities should take suitable actions to overcome the threat of extinction for the spinner
dolphins as well as locals by realizing the threat to the species that brings in value and tourism.
Without the wonderful species, there would be no boat rides with dolphins or swimming with the
dolphins, which would decrease the number of jobs and sink the economy in these local tourist
communities. This brings me to my point with regard to the significance of spinner dolphins to
the global community. Due to their large role in the marine food chain, changes in their
population can indicate changes in the marine ecosystem, which can have an impact on
international fisheries, conservation initiatives, and our knowledge of the enormous effects of
climate change on our oceans. In addition to refraining from fishing these species, humans must
also ensure that these animals get enough rest and time away from programs that disrupt the
spinner dolphin population solely for the purpose of generating revenue from tourism, like
swimming with the dolphins or boat rides with dolphins. Vessel collisions pose a serious threat
to these dolphins, and marine debris is the final factor contributing to the population decline,
which should be addressed by all parties involved and attempted to be fixed and regulated to
secure and preserve the ecosystems for these astonishing creatures!
[The conclusion should be concise and impactful. It should summarize the main points
discussed and synthesize the information to arrive at a conclusive statement about the topic.
Ensure that the conclusion aligns with the main argument or claim presented in the thesis
statement. It should provide closure and reinforce the significance of your thesis or main
argument.
Remember that the conclusion should leave a strong impression on the reader,
reinforcing your essay's main points and providing a sense of closure. It should also inspire
thought or action, depending on the purpose of your essay.]
References
[The title on this page should be “Works Cited.” The sources should be alphabetically
arranged on this page. Besides, review the MLA rules for the hanging indents on this
page.]
Faria, D. M., da Silva Jr, J. M., Pires Costa, L., Rezende Paiva, S., Marino, C. L., Rollo
Jr, M. M., ... & Cazerta Farro, A. P. (2020). Low mtDNA diversity in a highly
differentiated population of spinner dolphins (Stenella longirostris) from the Fernando de
Noronha Archipelago, Brazil.
Plos one
,
15
(4), e0230660.
McElligott, M. M., & Lammers, M. O. (2021). Investigating spinner dolphin (Stenella
longirostris) occurrence and acoustic activity in the maui nui region.
Frontiers in Marine
Science
,
8
, 703818.
Mesnick, S. L., Ballance, L. T., Wade, P. R., Pryor, K., & Reeves, R. R. (2019). Oceanic
dolphin societies: diversity, complexity, and conservation.
Ethology and behavioral
ecology of odontocetes
, 183-209.
Tyne, J. A., Pollock, K. H., Johnston, D. W., & Bejder, L. (2014). Abundance and survival
rates of the Hawai’i Island associated spinner dolphin (Stenella longirostris) stock.
PloS
one
,
9
(1), e86132.
Constantine R. 2001. Increased avoidance of swimmers by wild bottlenose dolphins
(Tursiops truncatusi) due to long-term exposure to Swim-With-Dolphin tourism
. Marine
Mammal
Science 17 (4): 689-702.
Constantine R, Brunton DH, Dennis T. 2004. Dolphin-watching tour boats change
bottlenose dolphin (Tursiops truncatus) behaviour.
Biological Conservation 117 (3): 299-
307
.
Your preview ends here
Eager to read complete document? Join bartleby learn and gain access to the full version
- Access to all documents
- Unlimited textbook solutions
- 24/7 expert homework help