assignment 1 english 1302-cvnqxkc4fgcq_1o1serjtvf8jw-4645682-1lpyp2fr4db93_160h8lq4n3tu1

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Feb 20, 2024

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Leanna Rios Assignment 1 Professor Nighbert English 1302 Brainfuse Provider Response Form Welcome to the Writing Lab! Analysis and recommendations regarding specific parts of your paper are included in the tutor response form. A copy of your paper is also posted below this form, and it includes additional comments in brackets. If you do not see the tutor’s comments or a tutor’s review appears to be missing, please contact info@brainfuse.com . For specific questions about your paper, please resubmit through the Brainfuse Writing Lab. Thank you for choosing the Writing Lab. Best wishes with your revisions! Part 1 – Organization  The thesis is adequate.  You have maintained adequate three paragraph structure.  The conclusion is adequate. Part 2 – Development  Provide specific information and clarifications in certain places. E.g., Can you specify which first paragraph you refer to in this discussion in the first body paragraph?  Provide elaborations on certain key aspects. E.g., comment on why the aspect and portrayal of conflict and aggression plays a crucial part in the narrative and the plot. Part 3 – Formatting and Grammar  Provide in-text citations, per MLA rules, for all quotes.  Don’t repeat the Work Cited section.  There are issues with the misuse of commas.  Use dashes to denote additional information.  Words are missing in certain places.  Commas denoting apposition are missing.  Unnecessary words have been used in certain places.  Commas setting off introductory elements are missing.  Commas setting off modifiers are missing.  There are comma-splice errors.  Incorrect word forms have been used in certain places.  Incorrect words have been used in certain places.  Commas before coordinating conjunctions are missing. pg. 1

Leanna Rios Assignment 1 Professor Nighbert English 1302 Useful Links: Organization & Development: For additional assistance with organization and development, please use the Brainfuse Essential Guides. You can view the guides by clicking on the links below: Organization Guide: https://www.brainfuse.com/curriculumupload//1548955157024.pdf Development Guide: https://www.brainfuse.com/curriculumupload//1548955225649.pdf Grammar, Usage, and Mechanics For additional assistance identifying and editing errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics, please use the Brainfuse Essential Grammar Guides. You can view the guide by clicking on this link below and logging in to Brainfuse: Grammar Guide: http://www.brainfuse.com/curriculumupload//1381694219673.html Formatting Please use the Brainfuse Style Guides for information on citation formatting. APA : https://www.brainfuse.com/curriculumupload//1514394321264.pdf MLA : https://www.brainfuse.com/curriculumupload//1514393937280.pdf Chicago Style : https://www.brainfuse.com/curriculumupload//1515512833067.pdf Please make all changes to your own original file to maintain your intended formatting, headers, and footers. Popular Mechanics Analysis In “Popular Mechanics,” Raymond Carver creates a story of an argument connecting a woman and a man who are struggling in their relationship and possessiveness over their baby. The idea being created is using a relatable conflict , [Review misuse of comma – Use of the comma here is not required.] that shows throughout the story [Review missing dash – Insert a dash here to denote the additional information that follows.] how an argument can quickly escalate both verbal and physically. [The thesis is adequate.] This first paragraph is important because it uses specific styles of wording and symbols that represent the idea being created. [Can you specify which first paragraph you refer to in this pg. 2

Leanna Rios Assignment 1 Professor Nighbert English 1302 discussion?] As Carver points out [Review missing word error – Insert the missing preposition here.] the act of symbolism, it seems that maybe the relationship between the two was once a healthy relationship, and now, with the baby [Review missing comma issue – Since this is the non-restrictive element, you also need to place a comma after it to denote apposition.] the relationship became more aggressive. Building the argument and [Review unnecessary word usage error – replace it with a comma to set off the introductory element.] the fight becoming aggressive more verbally and physically between , [misuse of comma] the two unnamed parents escalate and [Review unnecessary word usage error – replace it with a comma to set off the modifier.] speeding up the pace of the story. As the fight goes on, for who should keep the baby, Carver uses foreshadowing by saying “In the scuffle they knocked down a flowerpot that hung behind the stove” [Review missing in-text citation – Since you have provided a quote here, you need to provide in-text citation for that per MLA rules. It needs to include the last name of the author of the source and the page number (if available). Refer to this model: Jacobs has a wide range of critical analytical talents that are “considered appropriate for the HJ-8 level” (Hopkins 25).] , [Review comma- splice error – Replace the comma with a period or a semi-colon to denote the separation of two complete sentences/clauses and correct the comma-splice error.] show [Review incorrect word form usage – Use the past participle form of the verb to clearly state what you mean here.] there is physically contact happening and the women still holding on to the baby as does the man . The baby still continues to slip through their hands. This shows its [Review incorrect word usage – Use the correct word to clearly state what you mean here.] escalated to being more physically aggressive not just emotionally. The way he ends the story is by saying, “In this manner, the pg. 3

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Leanna Rios Assignment 1 Professor Nighbert English 1302 issue was decided” [missing citation] . [Comment on why this aspect and portrayal of conflict and aggression plays a crucial part in the narrative and the plot.] Throughout the story [missing comma] both he and she have added fuel to the fire. The outcome of this argument continues to rise [Review missing comma error – Place a comma before the coordinating conjunctions “for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so.”] and which [unnecessary] they do not see who is actually being hurt , [Review misuse of comma error – Replace the comma with a dash to denote additional information that follows.] the baby. The reason Carver may not reveal names [missing auxiliary] because that would take away from the main idea and could become less relatable. Work Cited Carver, Raymond. “Popular Mechanics.” MCC , 1989, www.mccc.edu/pdf/eng101/fall2011/Carver%20Raymond_%20Popular %20Mechanics.pdf. [Don’t repeat the Work Cited section.] pg. 4

Leanna Rios Assignment 1 Professor Nighbert English 1302 Work Cited Carver, Raymond. “Popular Mechanics.” MCC , 1989, www.mccc.edu/pdf/eng101/fall2011/Carver%20Raymond_%20Popular %20Mechanics.pdf. pg. 5

assignment 1 english 1302-cvnqxkc4fgcq_1o1serjtvf8jw-4645682-1lpyp2fr4db93_160h8lq4n3tu1

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