Knapp's model analysis upload
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Grand Canyon University *
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102
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Arts Humanities
Date
Jan 9, 2024
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docx
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4
Uploaded by CommodoreGazelle3907
Analysis of Relational Communication
Student
College of Humanities
Professor
date
For this assignment I will be detailing my relationship with my current and very lovely
boyfriend, Jacob.
According to Knapp’s relationship model there are 5 stages in a relationship where you come
together, the Escalation, and 5 stages if/when you pull apart the Termination. “
This helps to
understand how a relationship progresses and deteriorates. Diverse levels of speed and altered
time between each step can be seen and experienced when a relationship grows. The steps can be
even skipped out while the progression or deterioration of a relationship.”(Communication
theory n.d.)
I will be focusing mostly on Knapp’s escalation model for my relationship example, so I will
take some time to discuss his relationship termination model. Differentiating is the first one
pulling apart. Circumscribing more personal space lack of addressing issues, limit
communication. Stagnation, communication limited even more usually this means relationships
are past of the point of no return. Avoidance where the partners avoid as much interaction as they
can. Then the final stage, Termination where the relationship is over.
The first phase of the Escalation model is the initiating phase, where two people
determine if they have a strong connection. Our Initiating Phase was cringey on my part. I met
Jacob in Christian Worldviews 101 the first day of Fall semester 2022. I sat next to him in the
front because I liked his mustache and face. He introduced himself to me and I told him our
names meant the same thing, ‘to grasp at the heel’. He responded, “oh uh ha ha” and that was it.
Class started and I was thinking about how I have no game at all, and probably just scarred this
boy off. Although I did not scare him enough apparently, and he asked me for my number. We
talked a lot and I thought he was funny, but most importantly he thought I was funny.
The next stage of this relationship is the Experimenting phase, where two people start to
share personal details and testing the connection. Jacob texted me that we should get Jamba and
hang out after class. I agreed and we got Jamba and sat down and talked for 3 hours or so. In
those 3 hours I found out that his mother had gone to jail when he was little, and he had
absolutely no idea where she is now. I also learned quite a few things about his childhood and
friends and school. The whole thing was like being hit by a truck of information. I hit him right
back of course with insane things about me, the fact I was convinced I was schizophrenic or a
medium when I was around 13 (never did find out which one it was.)
Intensifying and Integrating where two people express deeper feelings for each other, and
becoming a unit and establishing a shared identity. These were closely followed by each other,
where we both said we liked each other and quickly started dating after about 3 weeks of
knowing each other. While we went on dates and kissed and held hands, I was certain we were
official. When he asked me what I called him, I said I called him my boyfriend, he responded he
calls me Jacqui. Not cool! I have never stopped brining that up, and he hates it.
Bonding where two people fully commit and integrate. Once we were fully and officially
together, we did everything together, we ate every meal together, walked to class together,
cleaned our rooms together, groceries, studied, everything to the point of calling each other to
fall asleep. We were glued at the hip practically. This turned into a slight co-dependency issue,
which summer has now solved.
Waldron and Kelley’s forgiveness model is 6 steps in the process of forgiveness.
Relational Past, Reveal/Detect, Manage Emotion/Venting, Make sense/questioning motives, Seek
Forgiveness, Grand Forgiveness, Negotiate.
Jacob and I have had out disagreements and all out arguments. I will spare you the details but
one time he crossed a major boundary of mine, and I was contemplating dumping this guy. I still
am working through forgiving him, months later. In a study by ASU by interviewing thousands
of couples they found that,
“We were surprised to learn that forgiveness can actually be a very
long progress…Some couples we interviewed were still working on it 10 to 20 years after the
incident. Some will be doing so for the rest of their lives.” (Waldron 2008)
After the first few times we hashed out what I was upset about I could not understand why I was
so angry still. Why I still needed to vent about it and question him. The Forgiveness Model
shows that the process goes through a cycle and even after the last stage of negotiation, you can
still need to loop back to Managing the emotions/venting. Which really helped make sense why I
was still processing what happened.
This concludes my analysis of one of my real-life relationships and applying it to Knapp’s
relationship model, and the Waldron and Kelley Forgiveness model.
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References:
Communication theory (n.d.) Mark Knapp’s stages of relationships. Communicationtheory.org
https://www.communicationtheory.org/knapps-relationship-model/
Waldron and Kelley (25 February 2008) ‘Communicating Forgiveness’ examines process of
forgiving. Arizona State University.
https://news.asu.edu/content/communicating-forgiveness-
examines-process-forgiving