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an you guys help me on this? Thank you! Read the following email message, then (1) analyze the strengths and weaknesses of each sentence and (2) revise (rewrite) the message so that it follows this chapter's guidelines. Include notes specifying revisions you made and why your new version is improved business writing in terms of tone, plain language and active voice. This message was written by the marketing manager of an online retailer of baby-related products in the hope of becoming a retail outlet for Inglesina strollers and high chairs. As a manufacturer of stylish, top-quality products, Inglesina (based in Italy) is extremely selective about the retail outlets through which it allows its products to be sold. <>

an you guys help me on this? Thank you! Read the following email message, then (1) analyze the strengths and weaknesses of each sentence and (2) revise (rewrite) the message so that it follows this chapter's guidelines. Include notes specifying revisions you made and why your new version is improved business writing in terms of tone, plain language and active voice. This message was written by the marketing manager of an online retailer of baby-related products in the hope of becoming a retail outlet for Inglesina strollers and high chairs. As a manufacturer of stylish, top-quality products, Inglesina (based in Italy) is extremely selective about the retail outlets through which it allows its products to be sold. <>

Understanding Business
Understanding Business
12th Edition
ISBN:9781259929434
Author:William Nickels
Publisher:William Nickels
Chapter1: Taking Risks And Making Profits Within The Dynamic Business Environment
Section: Chapter Questions
Problem 1CE
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Can you guys help me on this? Thank you!
Can you guys help me on this? Thank you! Read the following email message, then (1) analyze the strengths and weaknesses of each sentence and (2) revise (rewrite) the message so that it follows this chapter's guidelines. Include notes specifying revisions you made and why your new version is improved business writing in terms of tone, plain language and active voice. This message was written by the marketing manager of an online retailer of baby-related products in the hope of becoming a retail outlet for Inglesina strollers and high chairs. As a manufacturer of stylish, top-quality products, Inglesina (based in Italy) is extremely selective about the retail outlets through which it allows its products to be sold. <<Our e-tailing company, Best Baby Gear, specializes in only the very best products for parents of newborns, infants, and toddlers. We constantly scour the world looking for products that are good enough and well-built enough and classy enough - good enough that is to take their place alongside the hundreds of other carefully selected products that adorn the pages of our award-winning website, www.bestbabygear.com. We aim for the fences every time we select a product to join this portfolio, we don't want to waste our time with onesy-twosey products that might sell a half dozen units per annum - no, we want every product to be a top-drawer success, selling at least one hundred units per specific model per year in order to justify our expense and hassle factor in adding it to the abovementioned portfolio. After careful consideration, we thusly concluded that your Inglesina lines meet our needs and would therefore like to add it.>>
Transcribed Image Text:Can you guys help me on this? Thank you! Read the following email message, then (1) analyze the strengths and weaknesses of each sentence and (2) revise (rewrite) the message so that it follows this chapter's guidelines. Include notes specifying revisions you made and why your new version is improved business writing in terms of tone, plain language and active voice. This message was written by the marketing manager of an online retailer of baby-related products in the hope of becoming a retail outlet for Inglesina strollers and high chairs. As a manufacturer of stylish, top-quality products, Inglesina (based in Italy) is extremely selective about the retail outlets through which it allows its products to be sold. <<Our e-tailing company, Best Baby Gear, specializes in only the very best products for parents of newborns, infants, and toddlers. We constantly scour the world looking for products that are good enough and well-built enough and classy enough - good enough that is to take their place alongside the hundreds of other carefully selected products that adorn the pages of our award-winning website, www.bestbabygear.com. We aim for the fences every time we select a product to join this portfolio, we don't want to waste our time with onesy-twosey products that might sell a half dozen units per annum - no, we want every product to be a top-drawer success, selling at least one hundred units per specific model per year in order to justify our expense and hassle factor in adding it to the abovementioned portfolio. After careful consideration, we thusly concluded that your Inglesina lines meet our needs and would therefore like to add it.>>
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