Advice for the Ghosted The term "ghosting" describes the action of a person who suddenly cuts off all communication with a friend, family member, or a person they were dating, without warning or notice. Ghosting is done through unfriending on Facebook and other social media platforms, deleting or blocking a contact, or avoiding the "ghosted" person in public situations. Why would someone choose to simply disappear from another person's life, rather than plan, at minimum, a conversation to end a relationship? Many people never know why they were ghosted. While more studies need to be done on the ghosting phenomenon, past research has looked at different types of breakup strategies, and some psychologists argue that people who have difficulty sustaining attachments are more likely to rely on indirect methods of ending relationships, such as avoidance and ghosting, rather than talking about their feelings and their reasons for wanting to end the relationship. For the person who does the ghosting, simply walking away from a relationship, or even a potential relationship, is a quick and easy way out. No drama, no hysterics, no questions asked, no need to provide answers or justify any of their behavior, no need to deal with someone else's feelings. Certainly, while the gboster may benefit from avoiding an uncomfortable situation and any potential drama, they've done nothing to improve their own conversation and relationship skills for the future. For the person who is ghosted, there is no closure and often deep feelings of uncertainty and insecurity. Initially, you wonder "what's going on?" When you realize the other person has ended the relationship, you're left to wonder why, what went wrong in the relationship, what's wrong with you, what's wrong with them, how you didn't see this coming. How do you move on? Unfortunately, there's no magic bullet or proven advice to quickly guide you into recovery from a ghosted heart, but there is common sense. “Avoid reminders pf your ex," advises Gwendolyn Seidman, Ph.D., Associate Professor of Psychology and Chair of the Psychology Department at Albright College in Pennsylvania. “They're likely to cause painful emotions to resurface, and they won't help you get emotional closure or insight into why they broke up with you." Dr. Seidman also advises the victims of ghosters to find a new hobby, take a class, or learn a new skill. "You should also realize," says Seidman." that if someone chose the strategy of ghosting to break up with you, it likely tells you something about them and their shortcomings, rather than indicating that the problem lies with you." In other words, try to move on as quickly and completely as you can. Maintain your dignity and stay focused on your own health, happiness and future, leaving the ghoster to deal with the ultimate repercussions of their own immaturity and lack of courage in the context of a relationship.