Principles
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Mount Marty College *
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106
Subject
English
Date
Nov 24, 2024
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2
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Using "On Writing Well" by William Zinsser and this essay:
John James Audubon and Annie Dillard Audubon were two writers who set out to capture the
spectacle of birds in flight. Audubon, writing in the early 19th century, recounts a massive pigeon
migration. Dillard, writing in the 20th century, captures the beauty of starlings in flight. Both John
James Audubon and Annie Dillard Audubon and Dillard use imagery to describe the birds in
flight, with Audubon using more factual diction and Dillard using poetic diction, which has
differing effects on their respective audiences.
Both Audubon and Dillard utilize vivid imagery to depict the spectacle of birds in flight. Audubon
uses rich imagery to show the overwhelming numbers of pigeons, stating that "the light of
noon-day was obscured as by an eclipse" He uses this imagery to compare the pigeons to an
eclipse, something that a scientific-minded audience would be able to picture. Similarly, Dillard
uses metaphorical language to describe starlings stating “They seemed to unravel as they flew,
lengthening in curves, like a loosened skein.” Dillard uses this imagery to show the artistic
beauty of the birds, capturing the natural aspects of the experience. This would appeal to the
audience’s creativity and the human connection to nature. In conclusion, Audubon and Dillard
both use imagery to convey different perspectives of the birds, with Audubon using a more
scientific approach whereas Dillard captures the abstract beauty.
Audubon uses factual diction to describe the birds, while Dillard uses a more poetic diction in
her account. Audubon uses phrases such as: flying from north-east to south-west" and
“undulating and angular lines”. He uses this diction as a way to paint a picture of the birds' aerial
maneuvers in a way a mathematician might think of them. The image of “angular lines” and
directional descriptions would appeal to a more factual audience. In contrast, Dillard uses
poetic diction such as: “Intricate and rushing" and “unfurled oriflamme”. This diction would
intrigue an audience focused on the surreal and ethereal aspects of the starlings and nature as
a whole. Both authors use carefully selected diction in their works, with Audubon appealing to
his audience’s logical mind and Dillard evoking her readers’ artistic sides.
In conclusion, John James Audubon and Annie Dillard's depictions of birds in flight highlight the
different approaches they use to convey the spectacle to their audiences. Audubon writes with a
scientific style while Dillard uses poetic diction that shows the abstract beauty of starlings in
flight. Both authors create a unique experience with their works detailing their observations of
the birds in flight.
The five principles are:
Clarity
Conciseness
Active Voice
Varied Sentence Structure
Revision and Editing
In writing my essay I integrated principles of strong writing to enhance clarity, conciseness,
active voice, varied sentence structure, and revision. For clarity, I used examples, such as
Audubon's depiction of a pigeon migration and Dillard's tale of starlings, to ensure a clear focus
on the main idea. For conciseness, I shortened certain sections, using them to condense
without sacrificing explanation. For instance, the introduction and conclusion underwent
revisions to achieve a more concise presentation. Using active voice, I described actions vividly,
like the phrase "Audubon uses rich imagery to show the overwhelming numbers of pigeons,"
ensuring an engaging narrative. To use sentence structure, particularly in the introduction and
conclusion, I tried shorter and longer sentences to enhance the overall rhythm of the writing.
Through the process of revision, I refined the organization and language. Paying close attention
to these principles will better my writing.
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