Revise My Essay
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College of Southern Nevada *
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210
Subject
English
Date
Nov 24, 2024
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39
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Article Reviews : My Weaknesses And My Strengths
Jacquelin Garcia
English 071
September 29, 2014
Dear Sarah,
While writing the article reviews, I saw my weaknesses and my strengths. I found that Sometimes
it's difficult for me to get started with an idea, but when I'm going through the writing process it
breaks it down of me so I'm able to keep up and revise even better.
When the time came to revise my essay in class I noticed proofreading strategies. I was able to catch
my own mistakes and found a lot of parts that didn't even make sense. I never really like to read my
papers even when we did the drafting in high school. However, I came to see during this project that
reading my essays is like my best friend. I'm not very sure about my writing ability to pick up on
certain words because I usually write like I talk. In the future I hope I fix this.
I also found feedback from you very useful. I read it and I'm like yes she totally described my wring.
I know that I had to change things but I couldn't find my writing style
. It was hard for me to
incorporate the feedback because I didn't know how to start. I'm sure I will get better but as of right
now I found it difficult so I know that my writing may have not been that great
A weakness in my writing was coming up with what to write about. While writing the reviews, I
thought what I could incorporate, so I went to the writing center. This gave me a chance to see what
my main focus would be. However, I didn't find it like it helped a lot. My ideas were still all over
the
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Essay On Portfolio Reflection
My Portfolio Reflection Memo below indicates that I achieved this course learning outcome.
CLO1
My essay 2 shows that I can develop an essay through the draft and revision. That is focused around
a central idea. For example, my thesis has my main idea and all my body paragraphs relate to that.
Here is my thesis, "I agree with her opinion, because although finding solutions that empower and
equip children with knowledge to help them cope better with unfairness may not be easy. It is the
responsibility of the family, the school, and society to provide those. These three elements need to
act together to protect children and minimize the suffering that the children must fight everywhere
all the times." My Essay 2 is focused around a main
...show more content...
These show that my essay skills are ready to start college level.
CLO2
I can identify and articulate the most important parts of a reading (main ideas) through examples to
illustration and my summary. For example, in my summary I wrote, "In her article 'Why the Myth of
Meritocracy Hurts Kids of Color,' Melinda D. Anderson explains that adolescents with nonwhite
identities and marginalized by the system are always discriminated against and damaged due to their
misperception that social system is fair and equitable. She shares the study, which Erin Godfrey
shows that their beliefs decrease and create conflict in themselves and lead to complete collapse
when the truth is exposed, and their perceptions quickly shifted to increasing defiant reactions over
time. In addition, David Stovall also states that we need to direct young people to get rid of from the
challenges and opposition. School education is the best way to help color youth gain insight into
effort aims to turn them from a negative action into a more positive action..." I can condense the
main idea of the article in my summary. It is to convey to the reader an understanding of an article
that I have read. Furthermore, I wrote in the same way, with fidelity to the source and I did not put
any of my opinions in here. My summary skills show that I can attend the College– level now.
CLO3
One idea in my essay 2 shows that I successfully demonstrate critical
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English Composition Course Reflection
During the semester of English Composition, I have grown into a stronger writer. Through writing
different pieces such as descriptive and persuasion topics, the ideas have been created through
words. Due to this class, I have felt to become a more confident writer going into college. By
achieving the curriculum, developing new ideas and describe new topics, I have learned to achieve
in this course. Progressing through the semester, I have developed into a strong writer. By doing so,
I have created new ideas and aspects to my writing in a different way. For example, discovering new
topics through the database and understanding the importance of the audience. Through this
progression, I have developed new research methods such as understanding a database. Through the
database, I was able to understand and describe information and content in
...show more content...
By understanding formatting, sentence structure and style, the course improved my abilities to
succeed in English Composition. Assuming the obvious of writing essays
, I concluded that the
course was more than that. By emphasizing on topics and different types of writing, I have
understood the importance of context and information found in my writing. Through my learning
outcomes, the time and effort into every topic was much worth the reward. By understanding new
aspects to my writing, I have achieved the reward of a creative writer. Overall I have achieved
immensely throughout the course. With my new found confidence in my writing, I take these skills
into college and beyond. Through school work and job opportunities I understand how context and
audience are essential to develop a new idea or persuade. From vaguely understanding the
importance of context and the audience, I have developed a clear understanding to focus on these
topics. By organizing ideas found through a reliable source, I have found the confidence to be able
to persuade and describe
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What I Have Learned in My Writing Course
I have been a student at San Jose States University for second years, English 1A was my first regular
English class, and over the course of my stay I have grown and learned a lot. As Hospitality major, I
do not know whether need my writing skills for future job, but I know the great experience in
English 1A class would help me to improve all my writing weakness.
Writing used to be one of my strengths, but throughout my coursework in this semester, it was
challenging to take the first step to approach my first draft. I was always taken a long time to think
about the thesis and introduction because I personally felt both were very important for the entire
essay in order to attract readers. Merely, I could not make my thesis clear and good as always.
Therefore, I would get some inspiration from my friends or tutors, or watched drama and news; this
would be my first step to write a first draft. Unlike in High School, we have assigned at least 1200
words essay, and greatly opened my mind to develop a deeper understanding of each topic. For my
writing habit, when I first look at the topic, I would think about what professor taught us in class or
search some websites for stimulating more inspiration. Especially working on critical response essay
or opinion essay, these two types of essays were required to write an argument and to be more
thoughtful. It is difficult to identity some controversy topics in my knowledge as an English learner.
Although I have always been a thinker and I
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Rough Draft Process Analysis
When beginning to write an essay everyone has their own method of doing so. Some may like to
brainstorm while others may prefer to go straight into writing about their topic. I personally
beginning every essay by collecting ideas about my topic before coordinating them into a type of
diagram, next I proceed to do my rough draft before revising over the paper and finally composing
my final draft. The point of the writing process is to help break everything down so ideas can be
organized and everything can make perfect sense for not just the writer but also the reader.
Writing an essay can be difficult if a person does not know how or where to begin. I personally
believe the first step of writing is to list down ideas about the topic. After
...show more content...
Proofreading and revising is a very crucial step in the writing process. If a person does not proofread
then the essay they worked on may not make sense and may overall confuse the reader. Using
correct punctuation shows how sentences are supposed to be read. Once I have made sure all my
sentences are grammatically correct I then compose my final copy of the essay. Writing can be
difficult if not done correctly. That is why there is a writing process to follow. Using some type of
way to group ideas together help coordinate how the essay will go. Then once the ideas are put
together the rough draft can be formed and edited. After everything has been writing accordantly the
essay can then be turned in. Some may think the writing process is just some more additional steps
to getting their essay done but overall it makes the writing experience easier and more
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How To Revise My Writing
Writing is an art that you either love or hate in a sense. My time as a student in the past use to be the
type that despised writing after the knowledge I gained from this course that has really changed. The
problem came was not knowing how to revise my writings. Revising is a tool that is just as
important in developing a paper than writing it. I was the type of author to think everything I wrote
was perfect and wouldn't take revising as a serious step. With this drawback fixed I've taken huge
notice in how my papers sound and grade on an academic level. This course had many challenging
aspects within the material that me as a person had to overcome. One of the most challenging
aspects for me was learning to be more sociable to a private group
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Improvement In My Writing
Throughout the year, my scores in writing have gone up and down but has shown a general increase.
My current writing average is higher than my writing average at the beginning of the year which
shows my improvement. My biggest problems in my writing have been MLA formatting, grammar
mistakes, and commentary. At first, I made MLA formatting mistakes constantly with my margins,
contractions, spacing, and headers. My first few writing assignments were filled with MLA
formatting errors but over time, as I lost points from MLA formatting errors, I learned to avoid
them. Now, I do not get marked off for MLA formatting at all. My grammar mistakes have always
existed in my writing assignments but I've seen a slight, steady decrease in the number of
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Coming into the foreign environment that is college, I didn 't know what to expect when it came to
beginning WRD 103. The various assignments that were asked to be produced exceptionally
strengthened my overall writing abilities. The idea of writing creatively within narratives and
analyzing different stories or commercials expanded the way can express my multi–modal writing
.
My skills within all of these areas are still under progress, but with the constant practice, I am
confident that these skills will continue to grow. Our first assignment was to compose the diagnostic
essay
. The essay was created to showcase our strengths and weaknesses. Understanding my
strengths and weaknesses came as a difficulty because in high school we were never asked to
explore these traits within ourselves. While constructing this essay I had a hard time evaluating my
own writing so I needed an external source. I had a friend look at my writing and point out my
strengths and weaknesses. I then listed the pros and cons of my writing. Understanding the prompt
has always been a stronghold of mine, I am able to fully comprehend the purpose of the assignment.
Being able to fully understand the prompt has lead to stronger writing as I revisit the prompt and
revise my papers. A sure weakness of mine was clear organization of thoughts. I can say that it still
haunts me. I can write a good sentence yet, delete it because I tell myself that I can write a better
sentence. The diagnostic essay was
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Write An Essay About My Writing Process
An essay is a section of writing that systematically examines and assesses a subject matter or
concern. Basically, an essay is intended to get an individual's educational view on a specific
material. The essay can be true–life. Meaning the author of the essay is trying to say the fact, not
only amuse you. A decent lengthy essay ought to be made up of an introductory paragraph and
visibly state the subject matter to be discussed in the main body. The points should be plainly
specified in individual paragraphs and illustrated or warranted. A closing paragraph summarizes the
key facts of the paper, in which you repeat your view or give a stable thought of the subject matter.
My previous essays were missing some of the material mentioned. For example, I would watch
television and try to write an essay or I would limit the amount of words used on my essay paper. In
what type of environment do you do your best writing? In my computer room. How would
you
...show more content...
This may sound strange, but I tend to write better when I am under pressure. Therefore, I would not
recommend any one to write a paper the way I do. I also understand that this is the way teachers tell
you not to write a paper. I printed the quick guide to grammar and usage called Writing Elements by
Timothy P. Goss and Sabrina M. Goss. First, I would use the clarity and style because it doesn't
matter how many extraordinary words I can place into a paragraph. Because if the person reading
the paper doesn't understand what I am writing he or she will be bored and not understand what I am
talking about. Writing papers with clarity and style are vital fundamentals in any written
information. Another one is the writing process. This is a process of creating an essay by using
drafting, publishing, editing, revising, pre– writing, and final
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My Free-Writing Process
In this course, I learned a multitude of techniques to improve my essay and how to keep the readers
attention. Furthermore, I learned how to incorporate academic journals and online articles to help
make my essay stronger. Additionally, I learned that free–writing can help me start an essay and
provides my brain a starting point for writing an essay
. Free–writing allows me to write down as
much information as possible so that I can help myself start off an essay with some sort of structure.
The process in which my essay is created is to start free–writing, complete a rough draft, revise that
draft with the help of my peers, and lastly, write my final draft.
After submitting my rough draft and peer reviewing my other classmate's essays, the
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What Are The Strengths Of My Paper
As a first draft I feel my paper is decent. Some of the strengths of my essay is the evidence I provide
for each thought. Also how well I paraphrased some of the work without the high usage of using
quotes but gave intext ciatations. Some of my weakness I feel was possibly organization. I know
they're several instances where a series of ideas will come to my head at once, and I don't cypher it
properly.
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Assignment 1: My Writing Process
My writing process is like a baby learning how to walk. During their first year, the baby is busy
developing coordination and muscle strength in every part of their body. They will learn to sit, roll
over, and crawl before moving on to pulling up and standing. From then on, it's a matter of gaining
confidence and balance before they start walking. They will fall over and over again but likewise,
they will try over and over again until they're off and eventually running. High school for me was
like a baby's first year when it's preparing to start walking and this quarter in EWRT 211 was when I
gave the first baby steps. With more practice, I'll be walking with ease in no time. I believe I will be
successful in EWRT 1A. I am ready for EWRT 1A
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My Peer Review Feedback
I was quite surprised my peer review feedback through Smarthinking, did not mention any major
grammar issues or any fragments. However, when separating main ideas, I seem to continue
misplacing commas, and continue to misplace modifiers, which confuse my audience. Furthermore,
I believe I have strengthened my selection of vocabulary words, whilst I struggle to recognize the
proper spelling or use them incorrectly to correlate with the rest of the sentence, and thus confuse
my audience. Reviewing my weaknesses from the peer review feedback, I realize most of the
grammar mistakes, word choice mistakes, and structure mistakes, could have been corrected if I
proofread my essay carefully. Therefore, I will proofread my essay in scrutiny, and read
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Essay On My Hero's Journey
Looking at the finished product I turned in for Essay 1, I don't think I deserved a 100%. As I read
my essay I found nothing but mistakes and points left out. I then went back and read the first draft of
that essay and man is there is difference. As I was reading my original essay I found out that I was
inserting facts into sentences. That's not bad but no the goal. The goal is to create a story about your
hero's journey and relate it to you. Mine was not that. Looking back on workshops and feedback I
saw how much my paper had changed and how I raised my bar. I took sentences I had written and
moved, created, and formed an essay that was different and better then the first draft; by creating a
story. Now using all the knowledge, I have learned throughout the semester, I can use it revise my
essay one
...show more content...
Original: CTE Shenanigans
Revised: CTE Shenanigans MK II
The framework stayed strong as stated before, it had a great flow and a smooth story. The topic
sentences need clarifying and to be mentioned again throughout the paper (i.e. The Hero's Journey).
The worst part of the paper to me were the transition, so I overhauled them to help the reader know
where they were heading next.
Original: "These two mentors also taught me literacies that many students I knew did not have and
that was professional literacy
."
Revised: "These two mentors also taught me literacies that many students I knew did not have, and
that was professional literacy and technological literacy. These are concepts that I would continue to
use today and help me along my journey in high school. Now let's start from the beginning, when
my hero's journey started."
I also, took into consideration feedback pertaining to sentence detail and fluency in the story. My
points in the paragraphs were on point but explanations was where I was lacking. Explanations were
expanded upon in examples and detail.
Original: No sentence, added detail and
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How To Revise My Writing
I feel the most confident when I revise my writing as I go along with the process; in some ways I
feel it helps me organize and put all of my thoughts together. I do agree that the multiple writing
drafts are very beneficial however, I think I would do better if I could revise my writing as I work on
it and only have one continuous draft.
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How I Learned Changed My Life
Friends and family have always told me college is hard and takes a lot of adjusting. I knew that in
the back of my mind but always thought I was smart enough to overcome that adjusting part. I was
wrong. Just adjusting to this course was a struggle for me. I learned my lesson and changed my
ways a few weeks into the course. I've improved on so much and learned a lot throughout these
seven weeks. In general I've learned how to organize and revise my papers more in depth. I've
learned so many new techniques that I will carry on with my throughout my years in school. Six
weeks ago when I wrote my diagnostic essay I thought it was great. Looking back at it now, I realize
it's a train wreck. There are grammar errors, awkward wording and sentence structures, repetition of
the same words, it is unorganized and I cut my ideas short. A lot of the strategies I've learned
throughout the course could have been put to use in the essay. I said my weaknesses were grammar
and writing a thesis statement. I said that my strength was descriptive writing. I believe I've
improved on those elements, but also discovered new weaknesses that I have worked on over the
weeks to improve and understand better.
To start, there were a lot of errors in my paper that I wouldn't have noticed before this course. I
repeated words and phrases like "things" and "I think" multiple times throughout the paper.
Especially when using the phrase "I think", it could throw off my readers because I should be sure
on
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Analyzing An Unsustainable Practice
The first essay that I revised was Essay 2, Analyzing an Unsustainable Practice which dealt with cell
phone addiction. The main reason why I chose to revise this essay is because I feel like it is a topic
that could be expanded on and many people could relate to it. Moreover, when I received the
feedback on this essay
, I noticed a few major and minor adjustments I could make to build on my
essay. So, the major improvements I made in this essay were rearranging my paragraphs to make the
essay flow smoothly, adding another paragraph explaining the development of poor communication
skills, and providing examples to expand on my points that were unclear. I also made minor
improvements to this essay which was making a small tweak to my thesis to make the audience
understand the point I am trying to make and fixing my incorrect grammar.
...show more content...
The main reason why I chose to revise this essay was because it was one of my lowest essay grades,
so I knew I could find my mistakes and make this essay stronger. Furthermore, after I looked at the
feedback that was given to me, I realized I could fix the errors that affected my grade. The major
improvements I made in this essay was making my introduction more clear by making it easier to
understand what my topic was about and relatable. I also made changes to my conclusion because I
did not think it summarized my body paragraphs and was not developed enough. Lastly, the minor
changes I made in this essay was providing examples to support the points that I made and to make
them
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What I Learned From The Revision
Looking back As human beings we try to achieve perfection, and when we look back on previous
works we find what wasn 't right and fix it; however we might look at a project later and the cycle
repeats and repeats. In other words, revision is never over. Kind of depressing, right? But, the sooner
we accept our fate as eternal revisers, the better off we will be. What I learned from the revision is
that there is always room for improvement. For the final essay, I made global revisions like:
structuring, adding details, deleting senses, and adding sentences. I also made some local revisions
like: grammar, fixing typos, and fixing strange sentences. Revision is necessary to make an essay
better and is a chance to make brave changes that you were not willing to address in the beginning. I
am a more humble student now that I've accepted that revision is grueling, endless, and necessary.
Again, depressing, but also true. The local revisions that I made in the essay make the essay easier to
understand. I notice that I am not the best speller and made quite a few typos, for example I changed
"fine" to "find," and "mother" to "mother's". I feel the reader might see "Connie and mommy" and
be uninterested, because it will be a normal mother/ daughter type relationship. I also decided to
change the title of my essay to "Everyone hates Connie", because I feel that it grabs the audience's
attention, and doesn't sound too generic. I also added the year "2015" in the
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Another Step of a Long Process: Studying English Academic writing is an art of expressing and
transforming thoughts and ideas into physical form to deliver information logically and
scientifically. This skill needs to be refined and practiced constantly regularly. After three months of
taking ESL 273, I have accumulated various experiences in writing advanced sentences and
organizing academic essays which are really necessary for me to perform well in the next English
course, ESL 5, as well as other classes. As a result, I think I am well–prepared and ready for the next
coming course ESL 5. During the ESL 273 course, one of my strengths which is the ability of using
various examples as well as explanations to reinforce my
...show more content...
Consequently, I did not have enough time to check and edit some minor errors existing in my essay
"Society Built our Perception and Ability" like verb tense, punctuation, and word form. This also
explains why I usually perform successfully in the grammar tests given by my teacher, but I still
repeat those grammar mistakes again in my essays. Even though those errors do not affect readers'
comprehensions but they might be distracted and thus the quality of my essay would be diminished.
To help students combat this mistake, my teacher has applied an interesting teaching strategy which
is collaborative learning. To do this, I work in pair with another friend and exchange our writing
assignments in order to check other partner's errors. I feel that this method works really well in my
case because checking my partner's mistakes has helped me to reinforce my proofreading skill.
Besides, I find out a strategy to deal with the shortage of time of an in–class writing. To do this, I try
to recheck and go over a sentence as I write to make sure it is free of grammar and punctuation
mistakes. This new approach is very compatible and essential for me in order to be successful when
I get into higher English classes like ESL 5 and EWRT 1A because I actually check my essay three
or four times before I finish it. In ESL 273, I have achieved some specific goals in
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The Reflection Of My Writing As A Writer
After looking back at all the writing I have accomplished in this class and experiences I have faced
in other English classes, I realized how they have affected me as a writer and where I stand as one as
of now. The writer I am today has been greatly benefited with years of learning English in school
and other literacy sponsors. Throughout the years, I have learned a number of ways to write and I
have been positively impacted by these methods. I now know the type of writer that I am and how I
write best and in under which conditions. Now, I have my own writing process that most likely
differs from my peers. A writing process is the steps an individual takes in order to produce a form
of writing. According to The Alton L. Wilmer Writing Center, "Creating a successful paper is a
different process for everyone. Some writers require complete silence with no distractions, while
other crave noise while they work." When conducting a paper, I go through the prewriting, drafting,
revision, and editing process. The prewriting process is important to the final draft of my paper since
it helps me organize my thoughts in which I can then find the focus of my paper. During the drafting
process, I tend to just write everything that comes to mind. It motivates me to keep writing to the
point that all my ideas are typed. I then rearrange them where they best flow and make sense. My
rough drafts are, as Anne Lamott claims, "a shitty rough draft." When it comes to the revision and
editing
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