Week 3 Reading Journal (Tatum Ch. 3 _ How Race is Real)
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Kaylien Tran
Why Are All The Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?
Beverly Daniel Tatum
Week 3 Reading Journal (Tatum Ch. 3 & How Race is Real)
For Chapter 3 (The Early Years “Is my skin brown because I drink chocolate milk?”
):
Summary: Tatum explains how one’s race-related memories can come from various age groups and can also differ in stories. These stories from the audience can include fear, curiosity,
active bigotry, mixed messages, trauma, terror, and much more. To no surprise, the participants
have negative feelings toward such memories and are unable to discuss their experiences with anyone. This creates Tatum’s wonders about how one can grow up without making sense of these experiences and if their confusion and curiosity have subsided or not. Like others, Tatum also reminisces of her own race-related memories and the revelation she had when being confronted that she was actually “black” despite her harsh denial of being just “tan.” Similar situations were passed on to Tatum’s own children, to which two of her children had differing experiences, one observing a white mother and her biracial child, and the other being faced with
the reasoning behind his dark skin (which eventually becomes the topic of this chapter,
“Is my skin brown because I drink chocolate milk?”
). Nevertheless, Tatum created these situations as a
learning experience for her children.
It is also expressed that the real reason why adults cannot confront children regarding race and teach them why people have different skin tones is because they feign ignorance and become inattentive to questions they cannot answer themselves. They start to fear offending others and saying the wrong thing, but to Tatum, this is a wonderful opportunity to teach their children to use their words wisely and offer them a solution to their confusion. Regarding society’s “color” language, we call some people black or white, but never really yellow or red, so it is obvious that
children will be curious about the meaning behind this. With Tatum’s situation with explaining everything to her eldest child, it eventually connects with the topic of slavery, in which Tatum was in a dilemma since she was not prepared to discuss history’s cruelty and injustice to a four-
year-old. She told a story in great detail, taking three things into account: to not scare her child, to acknowledge that his African ancestors were not passive victims, and to know that White allies are possible. In the end, Jonathan, her eldest son fully understood the meaning behind her story and appreciated where she was coming from.
Soon, Tatum reveals that with the topic of slavery is brought up, not only African Americans students but also White teachers feel discomfort with speaking or hearing about it. It’s not that it is a taboo topic, but it’s the way we’re teaching it and our vision of it as a whole. On another note, a concept was brought up called ‘race constancy’ which meant that one’s racial group membership is fixed and will not change. This was expressed through the examples of colored children’s desire to be White and their willingness to change. This is also a form of internalized oppression as referred to in the previous chapters of this book. Tatum talks of her experience with what was considered the ‘beauty standard’, especially with her school, and how these
Kaylien Tran
messages can construct one's own image growing up. Overall, countering such images of a dominant culture is a challenge but can be done to create a more positive sense of one’s identity.
Later, Tatum explains how she grew up with a book series that she loved, but once she showed them to her son and read it over, she developed a new perception of it which is the racist, sexist, or classist aspects of it. She explains that children learning to spot such aspects of the book are important because they are able to resist the negative impact of oppressive messages,
to which she mentions Janie Ward who calls this process “raising resisters.” Tatum continues to explain examples of this process in certain scenarios such as in books, films, and even in her own life with her sons. Additionally, she mentions Louise Derman-Sparks who explains that children need to stand up for themselves if they are victims of prejudice. This creates an outcome of empathy and respect for diversity as a whole, eventually learning to have the responsibility of dealing with everything.
Significant Takeaways:
A part that stood out to me was when Tatum revealed that her participants “never discussed these clearly emotional experiences with anyone.” Though this did
not surprise me as one who has memories of being the target of racially motivated acts, this raises the question of why race is a taboo topic. This part was so intriguing because it leads me to the fact that people do not want to be known as a victim of such actions and have their vulnerability shown to others. Especially children, they aren’t able to fully comprehend what was
directed towards them until they grow up. Though, when Tatum stated, “Are we as adults prepared to help the children we care about to make sense of their own race-related observations?” With Tatum as a parent, she seems to handle such situations with confidence and in a positive manner. She raised her eldest son’s confidence in his own skin and thoroughly
explained to her youngest how children and their parents can look different but can still be related regardless. I was surprised how common parents tend to fear confrontation with their children when it comes to such a sensitive topic but in comparison to how Tatum handled everything, she took every moment her children brought up to her advantage to expand their knowledge of race and equality as a whole. Something as simple as the part with the brown and
white eggs can be an excellent (pun intended) example of how people could look different but all be the same on the inside.
I was always afraid of calling someone a color because it had felt like an insult, but I was relieved to read that “saying it is not an insult to identify a Black person as Black.” It was a burden to constantly worry about disrespecting others by just grouping them into colors (thinking
it as a way to degrade them indirectly), when with my race, as a Southeast Asian, nobody identifies me as ‘yellow’ or anything of the sort. As Tatum explains, “people of Asian descent are
not really “yellow” like lemons; Native Americans don’t really look “red” like apples.” Therefore, I attempt to expand my knowledge of people’s ethnicity and identify them as what they told me. What Tatum had said definitely surprised and enlightened me to be more comfortable with what I say to others in the end.
Kaylien Tran
Lastly, I just wanted to mention Tatum’s quote, stating, “We have the responsibility, and the resources available, to educate ourselves if necessary so that we will not repeat the cycle of oppression with our children.” I wholeheartedly agree with the ending quote that Tatum had put out. I feel that even as adults, parents are still learning to better themselves and acknowledge their own actions to create a brighter future for not only themselves but for their children as well.
Of course, there’s no such thing as a perfect parent and nor the idea of the perfect child as well,
but there are always ways to step up and improve as long as effort and patience is involved in the end.
Questions: 1.
When talking about race-related stories, what was the difference between the genres of fear and avoidance compared to terror? Did the stories with terror create traumatic experiences?
2.
Could the participants hide their genuine emotions attached to the memories and hop on
the bandwagon of negative feelings instead?
3.
Why are people ashamed of advocating their own stories? Do they fear the outcome of reactions?
4.
Has it been normalized in modern society to not bring up racially motivated experiences?
Do some feel like the memories are insignificant and should be left in the past?
5.
Why was dark skin being correlated with dirt a common misconception among White preschool children? Do children not understand this is obviously an insult?
6.
If everyone were to be colorblind, would this solve issues regarding racism? 7.
Why was “good hair” correlated with straight hair, but Tatum was still complimented for being beautiful with curly hair?
8.
Even if some are able to distinguish sexist, racist, and classist elements in books, can the same be applied to real-life scenarios?
9.
Will there ever be a perfect technique to assist in children’s perception of racism and the difference of others?
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