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Brigham Young University, Idaho *
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2577
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Communications
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Apr 3, 2024
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Week 7 Worksheet
: Silence, Confrontation of Contradictions, Reframing, and Reflections I.
Silence: A Counseling Skills Experiment In everyday conversation, you may notice yourself pausing slightly before responding, or notice the other person waiting for a millisecond to make sure you have finished speaking. When this happens each person is giving the other space to talk. When natural pauses do not happen both speakers feel rushed and try to fill the gaps hastily and don’t listen to the last things that have been said. Naturally occurring moments of silence are as important to the communication process as are spoken words. Effective counseling conversations are much more introspective than social conversation, and it is appropriate to sit in noticeable silence with your client(s). For example, a counselor may remain silent in order to allow a client to ponder what she or he just said. Silence is used most effectively in conjunction with other counselor nonverbal skills, such as an attentive facial expression, a patient but curious tilt to the head, and observant eye contact. Abrupt silences and prolonged unproductive silence can damage the therapeutic alliance. Learning to know when to sit quietly when your client is thoughtful, being comfortable enough to allow or encourage a client’s silence to deepen their self-reflection, and noticing when the silence is no longer productive takes both intention and practice. Instructions for this 2-Part Experiment:
1.
For five minutes sit alone in total silence (no Computer, TV, Radio, Music, and turn your cell phone ringer off and put it where you will not see the screen). This means silence both outside (as described) and inside. Don’t use the time to go over your to do list or plan dinner – just merely “watch” your thoughts with mild interest as they arise and dissipate like soap bubbles on a hot day. 2.
Now find a volunteer and a countdown timer with a pleasant sound. Let your helper know what you both are about to do. Sit facing them. Direct them to sit in total silence with you. Set the timer for 7 minutes, then pace it out of sight as well. Ask them to think about an unpleasant experience of their choosing and then a pleasant experience, and then in the remaining time direct them to think about their breathing in and out slowly and deeply until the timer chimes. While they are thinking you are to pay attention to their nonverbal behaviors (face, skin, movement, breathing, posture). Notice your own internal reactions to their nonverbal behaviors. Observe yourself as you sit in total silence with someone as you observe them. Afterward process this shared experience with them. 3.
In approximately 1-2 paragraphs
each, share your responses to the following 3 prompts:
Describe your observations, feelings and thoughts during the first part of this experience. What, if anything, surprised you while you were practicing silence alone?
When I sat alone in silence, I was hoping to embrace a sense of inner calm. However, my introspection
quickly switched to be centered around my concerns for my kids, the well-being of my husband, future homework assignments, and many other aspects of life that are beyond my immediate control. The mind
was full of a lot of stress, and the more I tried to detach from these worries, the harder it became to release them. The habitual tendency to dwell on these concerns persisted, which created an internal struggle when I tried to release them. Each passing moment seemed laden with the weight of responsibilities, making it increasingly difficult to find solace in the silence I had sought.
The silence, instead of offering tranquility and an open space for introspection, became full of my anxieties. The stillness amplified the my restless thoughts, rendering me uneasy and fidgety. Attempting to sit still felt nearly impossible because there were so many tasks that my mind was telling me I should be doing. Despite my intention to find a moment of respite, this moment of silence became a
Week 7 Worksheet
: Silence, Confrontation of Contradictions, Reframing, and Reflections battleground where my mind wrestled with its own tendencies, making it a challenge to let go of my thoughts as they happened and simply be still and in the moment.
Describe your observations, and explain what you learned from sitting in silence with another person. When I sat with another person as they contemplated a negative experience I noticed that their facial expressions subtly transformed, mirroring the emotional journey their thoughts were undertaking. Their furrowed brow, downturned corners of the mouth, and a visible tension in their posture revealed the the
path of their introspection. The breath rate quickened noticeably during the negative thought process, each inhale and exhale weighed down by the direction of their thoughts. The person I sat with exhibited a restlessness, fidgeting and shifting in their seat, a physical manifestation of the emotional discomfort stirred by the negative feelings. I did my best to maintain a quiet presence, resisting the urge to interject or distract from the unfolding process. My observations highlighted the profound impact of negative thoughts on physical and mental states.
The experiment continued with the person contemplating a positive experience. As their thoughts changed to a happier process, a visible transformation occurred. Their furrowed brow eased, replaced by
a subtle smile that gradually broadened, and a softening of their features ensued. The breath rate slowed, each inhalation becoming more measured and serene. The restlessness diminished, and their movements became more composed, reflecting the positive shift in their mental state. Witnessing this change, I found it interesting how the mind's influence on the body extended beyond negative experiences. As the observer, I became aware of the connection between thoughts and physical expressions. I learned that moments of silence could become powerful tools for understanding the nuanced interplay between emotions and the body's response to them.
E
xplain the degree to which you are comfortable sitting in silence with a client and watching them think, and how, when counseling someone, you might effectively address any discomfort you may currently experience to give them the opportunity for time to self-reflect without interrupting their process.
I believe my comfort with sitting in silence with a client would depend on the therapeutic context, the nature of the client's issues, and the rapport established between us. I know that silence can be a powerful tool in counseling, providing clients with the necessary space and time for self-reflection. It allows them the opportunity to explore their thoughts and emotions at their own pace, and it often leads
to deeper insights.
I may have issues if discomfort arises during silent moments. I know I need to practice reg=cognizing if
the discomfort is just one sided, from me, or if it is coming from the client. Figuring this out will take a strong sense of self-awareness on my part. Acknowledging and understanding the source of the unease will be a crucial first step. This self-awareness will enable me to separate my own reactions from the client's experience, fostering a more empathetic and supportive therapeutic environment. Additionally, communicating openly with the client about the therapeutic process and the use of silence can be beneficial. Explaining the value of reflective pauses and encouraging the client to embrace those moments may help create a shared understanding, making the silent space more constructive for both parties. The key is to balance my comfort with the client's need for a contemplative atmosphere, fostering a collaborative and respectful counseling relationship.
II.
Reflection: Feedback from the Week 6 Video
Feedback is as necessary to the growth of a counselor as yeast is to the rising of bread, and just as yeast needs a warm moist environment to work, feedback needs reflection and application. Review and reflect upon the feedback that your instructor shared with you in the classroom grading rubric about your Week 6 Video and accompanying transcription template. In 2 – 3 paragraphs please share your thoughts and action plans after reviewing that feedback.
Week 7 Worksheet
: Silence, Confrontation of Contradictions, Reframing, and Reflections Starting with the positive aspects, I'm glad that the introduction was effective in making the client comfortable. The acknowledgment of my ability to ask the goals question, albeit a bit late, is noted, and I
understand the importance of addressing it earlier in future sessions for better guidance. The recognition
of my attending behaviors, such as leaning in, maintaining eye contact, and using minimal verbal/nonverbal encouragers, is encouraging. It affirms that I am on the right track in creating a supportive environment.
I'm pleased to know that my reflection accurately conveyed the client's emotions of frustration and exhaustion, demonstrating an understanding of the client's perspective. The positive remarks on my use of the ROC technique and avoiding excessive repetition indicate that I have a good grasp of communication skills. The effective implementation of the checkout question, as noted, is encouraging as
it signals a successful attempt to ensure understanding and alignment.
The feedback about the absence of a speculated goal/focus for the session is an important point for reflection. I acknowledge the significance of establishing a clear goal early in the session to guide the counseling process effectively. This feedback serves as a valuable reminder to prioritize goal articulation for better session direction. Additionally, the positive remarks on the professionalism of the video presentation, including attire, lighting, and minimal distractions, are appreciated, and I will continue to maintain these standards in future sessions. Overall, the feedback provides insightful areas for improvement and reinforces positive aspects that I can build upon in my counseling practice.
III.
Reflection – Study Buddy Practice
Instructions:
Taking turns being the counselor and the client, focus your practice on helping your “client” understand more about the purpose or contract of the session by adding some influencing skills you have studied so far. These include: Silence, Interruption, Redirection, Clarification, Interpretation, Confrontation of Contradictions, Self-disclosure and Questions that make them think. In a paragraph or two, please reflect upon your experience of practicing counseling skills with your Study Buddy for the second time. Engaging in the role of both counselor and client during the second practice session with my Study Buddy
was a valuable experience in honing all of the skills we have studied so far. Incorporating techniques like silence, interruption, redirection, clarification, interpretation, confrontation of contradictions, self-
disclosure, and thought-provoking questions allowed me to guide the client effectively. It was helpful when my study buddy stopped me to point out where I could improve and when I could use certain skills that I had previously missed. The intentional use of silence created space for reflection, while redirection and clarification helped steer the conversation towards a clearer understanding of the client's concerns. Employing confrontation of contradictions and interpretation allowed for deeper exploration, uncovering
potential areas of growth. Additionally, thoughtful self-disclosure facilitated a more open and trusting exchange. Overall, this practice session enhanced my ability to employ a diverse set of influencing skills, fostering a more insightful and collaborative counseling dynamic.
V. Reflection - Practice with Dr. Nina
Instructions:
Choose to either attend a meeting, or play back one of the recordings, of the Practice with Dr. Nina. These are posted by your faculty in your classroom. In your reflection, first indicate which week and whether you attended in person or through the playback. Then in 2 or 3 paragraphs reflect upon the most memorable things from the practice and finish up with what you plan to do to help yourself to remember them.
I attended the meeting in person on January 8, 2024.
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Week 7 Worksheet
: Silence, Confrontation of Contradictions, Reframing, and Reflections The most memorable things I learned were that in counseling, the skills of focusing, clarifying, and reflecting meaning play pivotal roles in facilitating effective communication and promoting the client's self-discovery and growth. Focusing involves honing in on the client's main concerns and emotions, allowing the counselor to provide targeted support. By actively listening and concentrating on the client's
narrative, the counselor can identify key themes, creating a foundation for meaningful exploration. Clarifying, on the other hand, entails seeking clarification on ambiguous or unclear aspects of the client's experience. This ensures that both myself, as the counselor, and the client share a common understanding, minimizing the risk of misinterpretation and enhancing the overall efficacy of the therapeutic process. Reflection of meaning involves the counselor summarizing and reflecting back to the client the underlying emotions, thoughts, and patterns observed during the session. This process helps the client gain insight into their experiences and fosters a deeper level of self-awareness. Effective reflection of meaning reinforces the client's sense of being heard and understood, contributing to the development of
a strong therapeutic alliance.
To reinforce the importance of these counseling skills, I plan to implement regular self-assessment and supervision. Engaging in reflective practices, such as reviewing session notes and considering instances where these skills were particularly impactful, will help reinforce their significance in my counseling approach. Seeking feedback from peers and mentors can also provide valuable insights and guidance for refining and enhancing these skills over time. Additionally, ongoing professional development through workshops and training opportunities will serve as a continuous reminder of the critical role that focusing, clarifying, and reflection of meaning play in fostering a supportive and transformative counseling environment.