Types of Grievers Essay
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Types of Grievers
Types of Grievers
Tonya S. Jones
College of Humanities and Social Sciences, Grand Canyon University
MHW -513: Grief and Bereavement Theory and Practice
Professor V. Henderson
October 25, 2023
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Types of Grievers
Introduction
When one experiences a loss the feelings and emotions that occur can often be
devastating and crippling. However, not everyone experiences loss in the same manner. Whether
the loss occurs to do a loved one dying, being fired from a job (or retiring), being displaced from
their home or children moving out – everyone experiences loss. Just as there are different types
of losses there are also different types of grief. Grief is the natural process of experiencing a loss
of some sort. The different levels of grief include anger, denial, bargaining, depression, and
acceptance. Although grief is shared universally, not all grieve in the same manner. This article
will discuss three types of grievers, their characteristics, the stage they are in, how this impacts
their relationships, treatment, and resources available.
Types of Grievers
Ambiguous Grief
A type of grief that often goes unmentioned or unrecognized is ambiguous grief.
Ambiguous loss can feel confusing or unclear so the grieving process may also reflect those
same complex feelings. Unlike most other losses ambiguous loss does not reflect an actual death
or at least one that is unknown at the time. There are two types of ambiguous grief: one that is
physically present by psychologically missing, and one that is physically absent but
psychologically present (Betz, Thorngren, pg., 1. 2006). Often referred to as “frozen grief” it
occurs when one loses a loved one due to the effects of Alzheimer’s, brain trauma, they have
been kidnapped or gone missing (Walter, & McCoyd, pg., 23. 2015).
The characteristics of ambiguous grief reflect feelings of uncertainty, despair, regret,
shame, and disbelief. According to Rosen (2023) individual’s struggling from ambiguous grief
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Types of Grievers
experience feelings of being “frozen” in their emotions, others not being able to understand their
grief, and isolation. There are often no rituals (such as a funeral or wake) because there is no
actual death. Having a support system may also be difficult for the griever as family and friends
do not know whether to sympathize with the griever or be hopeful that things may change
(Walter, & McCoyd, pg., 23. 2015).
Ambiguous grievers are not able to just move on with their feelings because their loss has
no end be it physical or psychological. Treatment for ambiguous grief is available through
therapeutic mental health support such as cognitive behavioral therapy, and counseling. These
types of therapy will allow the griever to express and identify their loss, focus on coping
mechanisms, and pay tribute to the lost by writing about them, or having a remembrance
ceremony. Some resources to help explain and cope with ambiguous loss are
AmbiguousLoss.com (which contains books and articles), and Helping Families Learn to live
with Ambiguous Loss which is a webinar by Pauline Ross.
Anticipatory Grief
While often interchangeable when it comes to ambiguous grief as it pertains to
Alzheimer’s or brain trauma, anticipatory grief has a definition all its own. Leming, &
Dickinson, (2016) explain that anticipator grief are emotions of loss that occur prematurely
before the death. This type of grief is often expressed by individuals who are dealing with
thoughts of their own death occurring or that of a loved one. A person being told they have a
terminal illness, deterioration of a family member or anticipating a divorce will go through
anticipatory grief.
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Types of Grievers
Some characteristics of anticipatory grief include sadness that one did not get to live out
their life, and distress as one prepares for the loss of their life or someone they love. Anticipatory
grief can cause a wave or “rollercoaster” of emotions where some days the person may be fine
and the next day they are riddled with depression and despair as they hope for a better prognosis
(Eldriged, (2023). This type of grief is also known as an acceptance stage because the person is
in preparation for their own death of that of a loved one. Anticipatory grief can have various
effects on relationships such the loved one may experience difficulty coming to terms with the
terminal diagnosis and others have an understanding of what is going on and can plan for ritual
services and life moving forward (Coelho & Barbosa, pg., 7. 2017).
Managing anticipatory grief can begin with support from friends and family, along with
seeking out various support groups. If symptoms such as distress or sadness get worse, or the
person is experiencing sleeplessness or inability to eat they may need to speak to their doctor or a
mental health professional. There are many resources available for anticipatory grievers such as
GriefShare which is an international website that has support groups for people dealing with
grief, and the Pathways Center for Grief and Loss which is an online library of grief resources.
Disenfranchised Grief
Previously this article mentioned ambiguous and anticipatory grief which have both been
complex in nature and may be difficult for some to understand. Disenfranchised grief does
concern an actual death however, the grieving process is one that society feels is not suitable.
There are five categories or characteristics of disenfranchised grief including unrecognized
relationship (same-sex, extramarital affair), abnormal loss (death of a pet, loss of unborn child),
exclusion (children, elderly with Alzheimer’s or disabled family), stigma death (death by drugs,
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Types of Grievers
or AIDS), and socially unacceptable (grieving too much or too little) (Walter, & McCoyd, pg.,
22. 2015). A disenfranchised griever often feels alone because society does not understand their
grief and their part in the process. Depending on certain circumstances the griever may be
prevented from attending rituals (wakes and funerals), there may not be any rituals and there is
very little support for them. They can become isolated from society, acquire low self-esteem, and
even turn to substance abuse to find their support.
Relationships can often feel strained, especially if they do not see the same view as the
individual grieving. A woman grieving the loss of her married lover may not get the same
support as she would have it been her actual partner. Although this is not a socially sanctioned
relationship it is still a loss and should be respected and supported as one. Treatment for
disenfranchised grief can be acquired through support groups, a mental health therapist
specializing in grief and loss, and through their own coping mechanisms. Resources such as the
Crisis Text Line can be contacted by texting the word HOME to the number 741741, and the
Trevor Project which is a line for the LGBTQIA+ communities at 866-488-7386.
Conclusion
Grief is natural, and universal but it is never easy. There are various ways to express grief
and no two people express it the same way. When it comes to grief and those that are grieving it
is best to show support and not worry about what it means to us or what society thinks.
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Types of Grievers
References
Betz, G., & Thorngren, J. M. (2006). Ambiguous Loss and the Family Grieving Process. Family
Journal, 14(4), 359–365. https://doi-org.lopes.idm.oclc.org/10.1177/1066480706290052
Brennan, D. (2021, April 29). What to know about disenfranchised grief.
WebMD. https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-to-know-about-disenfranchised-
grief
Coelho, A., & Barbosa, A. (2017). Family Anticipatory Grief: An Integrative Literature
Review. The American Journal of Hospice & Palliative Care, 34(8), 774–785. https://doi-
org.lopes.idm.oclc.org/10.1177/1049909116647960
Eldriged, L. (2023, July 15). Why am I already grieving when my loved one is alive? Verywell
Health. https://www.verywellhealth.com/understanding-anticipatory-grief-and-
symptoms-2248855
Leming, M. R., & Dickinson, G. E. (2016). Understanding dying, death, &
bereavement (9th ed.). Cengage. ISBN-13: 9780357045084
Rosen, P. (2023, January 24). What Is Ambiguous
Loss? psycom.net. https://www.psycom.net/ambiguous-loss
Walter, C. A., & McCoyd, J. L. M. (2015). Grief and loss across the lifespan : A biopsychosocial
perspective. Springer Publishing Company, Incorporated. https://ebookcentral-proquest-
com.lopes.idm.oclc.org/lib/gcu/reader.action?docID=4096376&ppg=42
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