Summary: Chapters 5–8

In Chapter 5, “Witness,” Patrisse goes to the magnet school Cleveland High in Reseda, a neighborhood similar to her own. Unlike her previous schools, Cleveland is more progressive, and its social justice–oriented humanities program encourages Patrisse to question institutions like the Kingdom Hall or the policing system. For most of Patrisse’s young life, her mother remains loyal to the Kingdom Hall even though the church has cast her out. Her mother’s difficult relationship with her personal faith leads Patrisse to explore her own beliefs.

In Chapter 6, “Out in the World,” Patrisse comes to realize as she gets older that she is queer. Her realization and acceptance are made possible by Cleveland High School’s inclusivity and the example of her cousin Naomi. Naomi also is queer but reacts with dismay at first when Patrisse comes out to her. Naomi’s reaction stems from concern for her cousin about the dangers faced by queer people, especially queer people of color. Patrisse’s first girlfriend is a basketball player named Cheyenne. Through her, Patrisse meets her longtime friend Carla, with whom she lives for a while at the home of their art teacher. However, some years later, Patrisse’s identity undergoes yet another change when she finds herself attracted to Mark Anthony, a straight, cisgender man. This is Patrisse’s first interest in a man.

Patrisse is 20 years old in Chapter 7, “All the Bones We Could Find,” when Gabriel returns from prison. In most ways their relationship resumes as it was before. The difference is that Patrisse is now an adult and ready to share in adult conversations about social problems such as “how Black people’s relationships are too often defined by harm.” During this time, she joins the Strategy Center, an organization that trains her to be a community organizer. Patrisse moves back in with her mother to help take care of Monte. After three years, Gabriel is arrested again when he falls back into drug use. Patrisse is 26 by the time he is released for the last time. He dies in 2009 of a heart attack, and Patrisse gives him the best funeral she can manage. Feeling devastated and enraged by his passing, she questions whether “such a thing as America can ever be possible” if Gabriel is allowed to die.

In Chapter 8, “Zero Dark Thirty,” Monte is arrested again in 2006, three years after his release from prison. Patrisse is horrified when she learns he has been charged with terrorism after a traffic incident during one of his mental health episodes. Despite his nonviolent nature, Monte is treated like a killer, and his medicine is withheld from him. At his trial, Monte is dehumanized and humiliated while suffering a psychotic episode, an experience that disturbs Patrisse and her family and further traumatizes Monte. Patrisse uses her skills as an organizer, combined with a community support system, to hire an expensive private attorney, who manages to secure a reduced sentence for Monte. But even after his release in 2011, Monte struggles to stay healthy and maintain a job. Eventually, Patrisse, with the help of Mark Anthony, manages to convince Monte to seek proper care at a hospital.

Analysis: Chapters 5–8

Chapters 5–8 explore Patrisse’s development from adolescence to adulthood, not only her spiritual and sexual self-discovery but also her intellectual growth. Her personal tragedies, such as her brother Monte’s mental health and legal troubles and the imprisonment and death of her father, inspire her to become a community organizer. Without having suffered the loss of her father, Patrisse might never have developed into the activist who eventually cofounds Black Lives Matter. Before that happens, however, she must first learn who she is. A noteworthy element of her journey of self-discovery is that contrary to the conventional idea of sexuality, Patrisse accepts her queerness readily; therefore, becoming attracted to a straight, cisgender man is a strange and disorienting experience. Although Patrisse has positive and important relationships with the women in her life, many of her struggles and much of her emotional growth result from her interactions with men, such as her two father figures, her brothers, and her first husband, Mark Anthony. But what draws her to Mark Anthony and what makes her care so much for Gabriel Brignac are that both men allow and project vulnerability.

Gabriel’s tragic story is in many ways in opposition to the warm and nurturing relationship he has with Patrisse and the rest of his family. Much of Patrisse’s frustration and anger toward the American system that mistreats and ultimately allows Gabriel to die stems from the ways Gabriel is used up and discarded. For whatever he might represent to Patrisse and the other people who care about him, Gabriel doesn’t matter to America. To shorten his sentence, he volunteers to be a firefighter during his second imprisonment, subjecting himself to dangerous conditions to protect a country that considers him disposable labor. Patrisse also highlights his military service, during which time she believes he first picked up his drug habit. By underlining the ways Gabriel was failed by a country for which he worked all his life in various capacities, she shows the unequal and toxic relationship between the United States and its Black citizens.

Similarly, Monte’s gross mistreatment by the American justice system underscores the reality that many of the abuses and indignities Black Americans suffer are as much the result of indifference or laziness as they are of cruelty or malice. The prison system finds it easier to strap Monte down like a dangerous killer than to expend the resources to treat his mental illness. Monte is more fortunate than many other former inmates in that he has a family who cares for him and is prepared to support him. But even so, it takes a considerable effort for Patrisse and her support system to keep Monte from going back to prison after his second release. In the end, Patrisse and Mark Anthony save Monte through patience, love, and compassion. Patrisse concludes that if Black Americans are to “survive,” then their future must look more compassionate and less violent.