Discipleship Paper

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Discipleship through Parenting Modern Applications from the Book of Mormon There are countless lessons to be learned from our favorite Book of Mormon heroes. Sometimes I reflect on how lucky I am. To be born into a household where Jesus Christ is the foundation, with parents who instilled good values into my character. I understand the importance of making and keeping covenants with God, and Christ’s teachings have been taught to me since I was young. I’ve become increasingly aware of others who aren’t quite as lucky. Many of my peers have fallen away from the church, despite having parents who do their very best to instill those values. Were the parents doing something wrong? How can I ensure that my own future children are raised in the “nurture and admonition of the Lord?” Families are center to the gospel, and raising children well is key to being a true disciple and follower of God. As a firm believer that the Book of Mormon was written for our day, I went looking for answers to this question. The sacred text is full of amazing disciples and prophets—how did they face this dilemma? Can we pick out certain things they did (or did not) do to raise a righteous posterity? The Book of Mormon literally begins with a note about this exact subject. “I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents…” (I Nephi 1:1) What made them goodly?

Lehi and Sariah were righteous individuals who put God first, kept the commandments, and set a good example for their children. Their personal obedience and consecration was motivating for Nephi, who recognized the blessings and light that it brought. A good parent and disciple sets the example for others, living the gospel themselves. That comes first. Lehi also understood the complexities of teaching, loving, and keeping his children accountable. ““And he did exhort them then with all the feeling of a tender parent… yea, my father did preach unto them. “And after he had preached unto them, and also prophesied unto them of many things, he bade them to keep the commandments of the Lord; and he did cease speaking unto them” (1 Nephi 8:37–38). Father Lehi’s parenting strategy is effectively outlined in those two verses. He cared deeply about his children, then preached and taught them about what he knew to be true. Lehi understood the concept of agency—that his children would ultimately need to make their own choices. As we know, his children did indeed make their own choices. Some of Laman and Lemuel’s decisions were not what Lehi had hoped, worked, and prayed for. We learn a tremendous amount from his response—an outpouring of love. He did not allow this situation to deflect joy from good choices made by other family members. He did not find fault in himself for their decisions. He did not criticize God or violate his covenants. He did his best and allowed

them to “act according to their wills and pleasures, whether to do evil or do good” (Alma 12:31) Lehi is not a singular example. Let’s consider another top-tier disciple of Christ, Alma. Formerly a wicked priest, he turned his life around, brought many to the knowledge of God, and taught deeply profound sermons and doctrine. He was also obedient, compassionate, prayerful, and trustworthy. When Alma decided to have his own family, it ended up being quite a trial of his faith. Despite his best efforts as a father, Alma the Younger and his buddies “seek[ed] to destroy the church, and to lead astray the people of the Lord, contrary to the commandments of God, or even the king” (Mosiah 27:10). To put this in context, this situation is even worse than we see today. Most of the time, if someone’s child leaves the church, they don’t go around successfully destroying it. So how did Alma handle this disaster scenario? The story continues, “the Lord hath heard the prayers… of his servant Alma, who is thy father; for he has prayed with much faith concerning thee that thou mightiest be brought to the knowledge of the truth.” (Mosiah 27:14) Do not underestimate the power of prayer. Alma continually poured out his heart to God, and it worked. That, combined with love, teachings, and his example of obedience, ultimately led to Alma the Younger’s miraculous conversion. Prayer is the most frequent and recurring teaching given by

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Jesus Christ in all scripture. “Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good…” (Alma 37:37) Skipping forward a generation, young Alma himself became a parent. Before that, he became an exemplary disciple of Jesus Christ. He preached the gospel to thousands of wicked people, and even returned after facing difficulty and tribulation. Determination, obedience, faithfulness, and charity come to mind when reading his experiences. As a parent, Alma’s efforts to teach his children are well-documented. As outlined in chapters 36-38, he offered tailored advice to each of his three sons, outlining ways that they could follow God and live happy lives. He did not shy away from discussing his previous life, transgressions, and personal life—instead bearing his testimony of those occasions. “And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain! Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy.” (Alma 36:20-21) There’s a reason why testimonies are so important, and why we are commanded to bear them. Our own positive experiences can (and will) influence others. As a parent, don’t feel restricted to sharing these experiences in formal settings only. Always let it be known to your children

how happy the gospel has made you, and the rewards and blessings that come from faithfulness. We also notice that Alma, even with all of his past transgressions, did not give himself permission to sin more than his children. Elder James E. Faust has said, “It is no answer for parents to say to their children, “We are experienced and wise in the ways of the world, and we can get closer to the edge of the cliff than you.” Parental hypocrisy can make children cynical and unbelieving of what they are taught in the home.” True disciples and good parents understand Elder Faust’s words. They live the exact virtues and characteristics that they want their children to develop. They speak with honestly, treat others with compassion, prioritize their spiritual life, and keep the commandments. Finally, I believe that all three of the beforementioned Book of Mormon disciples were great listeners. They listened to God, and the input of their children. Lehi held family counsels addressing the concerns (and complaints) of his children. Alma was sympathetic toward his wayward son. I imagine that a grown Alma the Younger did the same when counseling his three sons. George D. Durrant said, “Parents and teachers, learn to listen, then listen to learn from children. A wise father once said, “I do a greater amount of good when I listen to my children than when I talk to them.” Learning to listen goes hand-in-hand with learning to love—it will help your kids feel cherished and valued.

I pray that my writings have not painted parenting as a pressure-packed, challenging endeavor. It is truly a privilege, and one that brings us daily happiness and eternal joy. To quote Elder Faust again, “While few human challenges are greater than that of being good parents, few opportunities offer greater potential for joy.” We are blessed to have so many insights to guide us today. They have been provided by a loving Heavenly Father through His current and ancient prophets. I encourage all of you to read between the lines of the sacred text we have been given. When facing difficult situations, find a scriptural hero in a similar dilemma. Analyze what they did, and prayerfully implement those strategies into your life. God is real. Jesus Christ lives. We will become happier individuals and greater disciples as we implement what He has taught us. Works Cited Faust, James E. “The Greatest Challenge in the World-Good Parenting.” Homepage - The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, October 2, 1990. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1990/10/the-greatest- challenge-in-the-world-good-parenting?lang=eng. Nelson, Russell M. “Insights from President Nelson Every Parent Should Read.” LDS Living, December 12, 2018. https://www.ldsliving.com/insights-from-president-nelson-every- parent-should-read/s/89863. Samuelson, Cecil O, and Sharon G Samuelson. “With All the Feeling of a Tender Parent: Lessons from the Book of Mormon.” Brigham Young University, May 1, 2009. https://womensconference.byu.edu/sites/womensconference.ce.byu.edu/files/ with_all_the_feeling_of_a_tender_parent.pdf.

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Williams, Clyde J. “Following the Prophets: A Book of Mormon Perspective.” Church of Jesus Christ, July 1, 2000. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2000/07/following- the-prophets-a-book-of-mormon-perspective?lang=eng.

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