Peer Workshop Checklist WA3 SU21

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Modesto Junior College *

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ENGLISH CO

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English

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Feb 20, 2024

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Peer Review Checklist: “Connecting My ‘Happiness-Enhancing Practice’ to an Outside Source” (4 Body Paragraphs) Question/Instructions Response Summary Paragraph of Outside Source: Paragraph #1 Does the summary paragraph begin with a T.A.G. (title, author, and genre) and sentence paraphrase of the main idea of the outside source? (Paraphrase means they restate the examples in their own words.) X YES NO Do they include three to four quoted key terms or “survival words” from the outside source? X YES NO Do they provide a paraphrased example from the outside source for 2-3 of their “survival words”? (Paraphrase means they restate the examples in their own words.) X YES NO Do they paraphrase the conclusion of the writer(s) in the final sentence of the summary paragraph? X YES NO What advice do you have for how your peer can improve their paraphrase to make it more accurate of the conclusion and easier for a reader to understand? Personally, I don’t have any advice for how my peer can improve their paraphrase to make the conclusion more accurate and easier for a reader to understand. I think your paraphrase was very accurate of the conclusion. I also think it was clearly understandable for the reader. Your conclusion was well written, and your point was extremely clear. Does the summary paragraph leave out your peer’s opinion? X YES NO Is your peer’s summary paragraph 5-7 sentences? Does it include transitions to seamlessly move from point to point? X YES NO What advice do you have for how your peer can improve the summary paragraph, so it does not contain their opinion and uses transitions? I don’t have any advice for improvement. My peers summary paragraph does not contain their personal opinion. Also, my peers summary paragraph contains transitions. Their summary paragraph was well written and executed. My Answer: Paragraph #2 Does the body paragraph begin with a topic sentence that conveys the main idea of the paragraph? (Recall, a direct sentence should not be used as a topic sentence.) X YES NO Does the body paragraph use X YES NO
information from the outside source to explain how a specific aspect of the “happiness-enhancing practice” makes us more happy? If yes, how do you know they explained fully? If no, how can they more fully explain? The writer explained it fully by providing a direct quote in the beginning. They also explained the direct quote providing clarity of what a direct experience might be. The writer also makes a statement saying how it relates to their opinion. Do they include one quote sandwich from the outside source to explain how their “practice” makes us more happy? X YES NO Does each the quote sandwich begin with a signal phrase and include quotation marks ? (A signal phrase is something like Rubin says or According to Rubin ) [ Note: They should also have an in- text citation if the source has page numbers. ] X YES NO Do they paraphrase the main idea of the direct sentence in one sentence immediately after or before introducing it? (Paraphrase means they restate it in their own words.) X YES NO What advice do you have for how your peer can improve their paraphrase to make it more accurate of the main idea and easier for a reader to understand? I don’t have any advice for how my peer can improve their paraphrase. She properly included accurate explanation of the main idea. The writer also provided direct quotes that make it easier for the reader to understand. Hope also was able to link the main idea to her personal thoughts. Do they explain the connection between the direct sentence and their own “happiness-enhancing practice” fully for their readers in 3-4 sentences? YES X NO If yes, how do you know they explained fully? If no, how can they more fully explain? I think the writer can fully explain by listing ways in which she reminds herself that everything is temporary. She may also include her own experiences revolving being angry and thinking that it was never going to end. The writer includes a personally opinion but does not list how they stay mindful. Do they avoid using personal experience in their explanation? X YES NO What advice do you have for how your peer can improve their explanation to make it easier for a reader to understand how their “practice” makes us more happy? I think by first including their happiness enhancing practice they will be able to make it easier for the reader to understand. By including this in the first place it can make it easier for the reader to envision the situation on a more personal level. If the writer listed a way in which they relate it would give a real example which others would be able to practice themselves.
My Answer: Paragraph #3 Does the body paragraph begin with a topic sentence that conveys the main idea of the paragraph? (Recall, a direct sentence should not be used as a topic sentence.) X YES NO Does the body paragraph use information from the outside source to explain how a specific aspect of the “happiness-enhancing practice” makes us more happy? YES X NO If yes, how do you know they explained fully? If no, how can they more fully explain? I think by including the happiness enhancing practice at all it would be more fully explained. The writer has no mention of their happiness enhancing strategy. Do they include one quote sandwich from the outside source to explain how their “practice” makes us more happy? X YES NO Does each the quote sandwich begin with a signal phrase and include quotation marks ? (A signal phrase is something like Rubin says or According to Rubin ) [ Note: They should also have an in- text citation if the source has page numbers. ] X YES NO Do they paraphrase the main idea of the direct sentence in one sentence immediately after or before introducing it? (Paraphrase means they restate it in their own words.) X YES NO What advice do you have for how your peer can improve their paraphrase to make it more accurate of the main idea and easier for a reader to understand? I think that if the writer included their happiness enhancing practice it would make it easier for the reader to understand. Without this I am left wondering how they relate to the text. I think it makes it hard to connect the material because I don't have any example for what someone might to remain happy. Do they explain the connection between the direct sentence and their own “happiness-enhancing practice” fully for their readers in 3-4 sentences? YES X NO If yes, how do you know they explained fully? If no, how can they more fully explain? They can fully explain this by including what they do to remain happy. Without the inclusion of the happiness enhancing practice I cannot directly correlate the text with real life situations. They need to include how this relates to them.
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Do they avoid using personal experience in their explanation? X YES NO What advice do you have for how your peer can improve their explanation to make it easier for a reader to understand how their “practice” makes us more happy? I think by including how their happiness enhancing practice relates to the article they chose would be the best improvement. The writer did not include how they practice happiness in their everyday lives. My Answer: Paragraph #4 Does the body paragraph begin with a topic sentence that conveys the main idea of the paragraph? (Recall, a direct sentence should not be used as a topic sentence.) X YES NO Does the body paragraph use information from the outside source to explain how a specific aspect of the “happiness-enhancing practice” makes us more happy? YES X NO If yes, how do you know they explained fully? If no, how can they more fully explain? They can include a happiness enhancing practice. Because the writer did not clearly state how they relate to the text it is left a mystery. They did not include it so they cant explain the specific aspect of it. Do they include one quote sandwich from the outside source to explain how their “practice” makes us more happy? X YES NO Does each the quote sandwich begin with a signal phrase and include quotation marks ? (A signal phrase is something like Rubin says or According to Rubin ) [ Note: They should also have an in- text citation if the source has page numbers. ] X YES NO Do they paraphrase the main idea of the direct sentence in one sentence immediately after or before introducing it? (Paraphrase means they restate it in their own words.) X YES NO What advice do you have for how your peer can improve their paraphrase to make it more accurate of the main idea and easier for a reader to understand? I think that overall their paraphrase was well written and explained. They however did not relate the reading to their happiness enhancing strategy. I think by including it they can better connect the reader to what they are trying to say. Do they explain the connection between the direct sentence and their own “happiness-enhancing X YES NO
practice” fully for their readers in 3-4 sentences? If yes, how do you know they explained fully? If no, how can they more fully explain? Do they avoid using personal experience in their explanation? X YES NO What advice do you have for how your peer can improve their explanation to make it easier for a reader to understand how their “practice” makes us more happy? The reader does not clearly give an example of their practice. They relate the reading to different ways it can help being mindful. But they don't include their own experience. Editing Edit for the following items. Put a checkmark where you are confident that they have edited thoroughly for that item. Category Item MLA Format Header (Name, Instructor Name, Course, Date—day, month, year) on the left margin, double spaced One-inch margin all around Times New Roman 12-point font Last name and page number in the top right header in Times New Roman 12-point font If source has page numbers, in-text citation after direct sentence source (2) not (pg. 2) or (Niemiec and McGrath 2). If source does not have direct sentences, there should be no in-text, but direct sentence needs to begin with a signal phrase. Word Use and Choice Spellcheck for misspellings—Remember to run a spellcheck. It can be easy to forget to run it. Confused words Style & Mechanics Sentence Variety Transitions Sentence fragments Run-on sentences Punctuation Capitalization Commas Direct sentences and words from direct sentences begin and end with quotation marks
Titles are distinguished correctly—book titles are in italics, articles/essays/chapters are in quotation marks and not italicized. Grammar Present-tense Overall, the writing had little to no errors in grammar or punctuation. It also only had few errors with run on sentences as well as sentence variety. It was well written and explained. The writer provided different ways in which someone can remain mindful and how that relates to happiness. Unfortunately though, they do not directly come out and say what their happiness enhancing practice was. I think this is an important factor that they missed because they don't directly include how they relate to the article. Without the inclusion of their own practice they lead their reader in a direction in which it might be harder to relate to and or understand the ways in which someone can remain grateful regardless of their current situation. They include a wide variety of ways which are in general relation and don't connect the writer to their reader. It seems almost as if all of these different ways are further explaining how they remain happy without connecting it to their actual practice. The things that were included relate to the text but not to their personal experiences and I feel like that is where they fall short. If they came right out and said “My happiness enhancing practice is .... and this is how I relate it with the text...” Instead they provide many different suggestions without connection to that main practice.
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