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Sociology

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Feb 20, 2024

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1 Interview With A Mom Max Way Southcentral Kentucky Community and Technical College WGS 201

2 I am from Springfield, Tennessee, a diverse suburban thirty minutes away from Nashville. Gender norms in rural Springfield lean more toward conservatism, boys play sports and work on the farms with dad, and daughters are “daddy’s little girl,” and mom lets everyone get drunk if nobody drives. Life in Springfield is a pretty general experience, in the sense that my life was probably not all that different from the life my friends had. I never noticed the girls in my neighborhood friend group were even girls. What I notice is, gender norms are often selective and contradictory. Fathers don’t want boys to behave effeminately but enjoy engaging in “boy” activities with their daughters. Daughters should not date until they are grown, but boys are encouraged to have girlfriends. The questions I ask will center around similar concepts, as I attempt to understand how my interviewee navigates raising her daughters in a modern rural setting where everyone is opinionated and have known each other their whole lives, as well as societal expectations that are placed on her as a mother of three. In this application activity, I will be interviewing my sister-in-law who has three young kids, the oldest eight, the middle six, and the youngest two. She is recently divorced and working on coparenting with her ex-husband and balancing work, increased bills due to now living on her own, and balancing work with family time. She has a heavy load now, but she is trying to make ends meet. . 1. How do you approach gender socialization with your child? “Passively, mostly. I let them do what they want. They socialize themselves in a way. P likes Lego’s, comic books, things boys like but she’s a girl. K likes makeup.”

3 As Siegel states, kids are natural gender-benders (Siegel, n.d.). Social construction changes this, as kids are pressured to choose between boy things and girl things. This may be outdated however, because “the world is changing and adapting to new concepts” (Hanna, 2016). 2. Have you and your partner encountered any differences in your approaches to parenting based on gender expectations? I didn’t get a solid answer to this question, instead it was more of a group discussion that lasted for two minutes. Her summation to this question was that her ex-husband does not like that P likes to wear more boyish clothes, but not to an extreme extent. This could be applied to most things, with the ex-leaning toward conservatism with her(the mom) not really caring either way. She said that it is not a big source of tension, but it didn’t help things. Mainly, he is just overly stern about it to P. The husband likely has some awareness of the social ramifications in the south that come along with gender-neutrality. Without getting too detailed, the kid attends a Christian school and must wear a skirt outfit, which she does not like, and will only wear jeans outside of school. Research says that we are more obsessed now than ever with assigning gendering children (Siegel, n.d.). Whether this is right or wrong, non-gender conformity or just a kid being a kid, it’s hard to tell (n.d.). But as Lotta Rajalin stated, we should not limit kids, because gender roles are changing (Hanna, 2016). 3. Have you experienced judgment or stereotyping based on being a mother of three children, and how do you handle or respond to such perceptions? Any stereotypes felt by me were more because I was a stay-at-home mom. So, I feel like I’ve been considered lazy because I’m a stay-at-home mom, or things are easy.

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4 Women are often taught to be subordinate and passive (Siegel, n.d.). “It is the male who experiences the penis as a valuable organ, and he assumes that women also must feel that way about it. But a woman cannot really imagine the sexual pleasure of a penis—she can only appreciate the social advantages its possessor has” (Kimmel, 2017). I use this long quote to say, I know personally that people have tried to make her out as lazy because she was provided for by her husband. But she essentially worked 24 hour shifts every single day while her husband worked 40 hours a week and used that to do less work in the home. In summation, our interview went about how I expected because my wife’s family tends to move from one conversation to the next. The interviewee takes a laid-back approach to gender development because she believes that it is going to happen naturally. She allows her children to explore their genders on their own, and their father supports this to an extent. But mostly, she never even thinks about it. Her methods align with Freuds thoughts that we do have biological destiny, along with our environments and inner personality will ultimately determine the development of our gender (Kimmel, 2017). Nature versus nurture comes to mind. We can raise our children to healthily come to understand their gender or we can shame them for engaging in behaviors that don’t align with their sex, but we can’t change or decide their gender.

5 References Hanna, B. (2016, April 5). This Is What It's Like to Raise a Gender-Neutral Child . Vice. https://www.vice.com/en/article/ppxjvb/raising-children-genderneutral-876 Kimmel, M. S. (2017). The Gendered Society . Oxford University Press. Siegel, D. (n.d.). Born that way? Deborah Siegel at TEDxWindyCity . Youtube. Retrieved February 10, 2024, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jM-PNwUHEQ8

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