BiblicalWorldviewDB
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Biblical Teachings on Marriage
According to Moitinho and Moitinho (2020), even when you are unaware of your
worldview or beliefs, it can still drive your behavior and decisions. As we can see in 2 Timothy
3:16-17 (New International Version), scripture is God-breathed and can be used for teaching,
rebuking, correcting, and training so that we may be equipped for every good work God has for
us. As counselors meeting with couples whose marriage is struggling or shattered, our good
work is helping them see the marriage design God has planned from the beginning.
One of the foundational scriptures on marriage is found in Genesis 2:24, which shows us
that a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into
one. This verse is an important biblical teaching as it sets the foundational belief that marriage
is the union of a man and a woman. Moitinho and Moitinho (2020) also tell us that the Greek
word translated as joined means gluing or cementing two things together, emphasizing the
concept of marriage being a permanent commitment. Another important biblical teaching on
marriage comes from Ephesians 5:22, which states that wives are to submit to their husbands as
they do to the Lord because the husband is the head. This verse shows us the marriage dynamic
that God intends for his people. Marriage should be a picture of Christ and his church. It’s
important to note here, as Moitinho and Moitinho (2020) do, that the wife’s submission is not
forced but rather a voluntary act of love and a show of her obedience to Christ. The final biblical
teaching demonstrates the behavior that should be present in marriages. Colossians 3:18-19
states that wives should understand and support their husbands in ways that honor Christ,
while husbands should go all out in love for their wives while being sure not to take advantage
of them. This concept is also a great place to start with non-Christian couples seeking counseling
as who does not wish to be treated in a loving, supportive, kind, and respectful manner.
Hawkins and Hawkins (2014) tell us that in marriage counseling, they often call for a ceasefire
and, at times, will have couples sign a contract stating that they will not engage in the outlined
behavior. As the age-old saying says, nothing changes if nothing changes.
Potential Challenges
When counseling non-Christian couples or those with little to no biblical foundation, I
can see one potential issue being the concept of submission. In our society, submission has
become a taboo word that tends to have a negative or derogatory connotation. In this case, it
may be wise to introduce the concept of submission slowly or perhaps begin by looking at the
behavioral characteristics of love. Another potential challenge would be cultural context. Ripley
and Worthington (2014) demonstrate that while biblical truths are cross-cultural, their
behavioral application may look different in various cultures. For example, it is good for a family
to love each other, but how they express that love might differ widely to fit their culture,
language, gender, age, and personality (Ripley & Worthington, 2014, p.63). Good counseling
considers the cultural context in which counseling occurs and the cultural realities of the client
and counselor (Sue et al., 2019, p.32).
References
Giglio, L. (2018).
The Jesus Bible, NIV Edition,
Zondervan.
Hawkins, R. & Hawkins, S. (2014).
Introduction to Marriage Counseling
[Video]. Liberty
University. https://canvas.liberty.edu/courses/331101/pages/watch-introduction-to-
marriage-counseling?module_item_id=36527022
Moitinho, E., & Moitinho, D. (2020).
The dream home: how to create an intimate Christian
marriage
. Kendall Hunt.
Ripley, J. S., & Worthington, E. L. (2014).
Couple therapy: a new hope-focused approach
.
InterVarsity.
Sue, D. W., Sue, D., Neville, H. A., & Smith, L. (2019).
Counseling the culturally diverse:
Theoryand practice
(8th ed.). Wiley.
REPLIES – 15O EACH
Hi Hadley,
Great post! I think you offered some incredible insight that makes me think. I agree that
hope is fundamental for anyone struggling, even if it is not marital. We know from Hebrews 11:1
that faith is the substance of things hoped for. 1 Corinthians 13:13 (New International Version)
tells us that love is the greatest out of faith, hope, and love. Galatians 5:6 tells us that faith works
through love. I believe these scriptures tell us you can’t have one without the other. If love is
missing in a marriage, you will most likely find hope and faith is too. The importance of hope is
further demonstrated by a look at Clinton and Hawkins (2009), who list hopelessness as a key
symptom for issues such as depression, addiction, grief/loss, and post-traumatic stress disorder.
We need hope!
I agree that while we shouldn’t shy away from biblical principles in counseling non-
Christians, we must approach them creatively. For example, submission has become a sexualized
concept in society today; however, it is an essential biblical principle in marriage. As you stated,
one way to creatively present this principle in counseling non-Christians is by using different
vocabulary. We can do this by using words such as yield or relent.
Again, great post, and I look forward to reading more from you!
-Maggie
REFERENCE
Clinton, T., & Hawkins, R. (2009).
The quick-reference guide to biblical counseling
. Baker Books.
Giglio, L. (2018).
The Jesus Bible, NIV Edition,
Zondervan.
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Hi Twanetta,
Great post this week! First, I want to say thank you for sharing your view of marriage
growing up and what a testimony 61 years of marriage is! You will undoubtedly have a unique
perspective when counseling those considering divorce. I appreciate your focus on love. The
love described in 1 Corinthians 13 has the ability to break through bitterness, unforgiveness,
and any walls couples have built up against each other. You are correct when you state that this
kind of love hopes when all hope is lost. I had not thought of the biblical principle of respect,
but I agree that this practice could bring new life to a struggling marriage. I especially like how
respect is taught in Colossians 3:18-19 (New International Version), which states that wives
should understand and support their husbands in ways that honor Christ, while husbands
should go all out in love for their wives while being sure not to take advantage of them. I believe
this is a great principle to start with when counseling non-Christians. There is good evidence
that understanding, validation, and caring are basic human responses necessary for secure
attachment (Ripley & Worthington, 2014, p.26). Everyone has an innate desire to feel loved,
understood, and respected.
Great job!
Maggie
REFERENCE
Giglio, L. (2018).
The Jesus Bible, NIV Edition,
Zondervan.
Ripley, J. S., & Worthington, E. L. (2014).
Couple therapy: a new hope-focused approach
.
InterVarsity.