Dynamics of Blended Families
docx
keyboard_arrow_up
School
Liberty University *
*We aren’t endorsed by this school
Course
603
Subject
Philosophy
Date
Feb 20, 2024
Type
docx
Pages
2
Uploaded by Dig-a-Kuhl
Discussion Thread: Dynamics of Blended Families
We have learned many things about Blended Families in this class. What do you see as some of the most
impactful
challenges involved in a Blended Family coming together under one roof? What areas would you seek to address in counseling a couple thinking about remarrying to form a blended family?
Be sure to support your thread
and
reply with strong research
and
Biblical truth.
I think one of the most impactful things Ron Deal wrote is we need to keep our focus on God.
1
We need to encourage those we are counseling to realize they should not make their focus on finding that perfect person but rather they need to put their focus on the Lord and to seek first His Kingdom. We need them to pause and reflect on if they are being the person God desires us to be. For divorced people, I think it is also very important that each person ensures that there is no hope of reconciling with their former spouse. 2
I think it is essential to bring this up in Christian counseling. It is important to have the people you are counseling slow down and reflect on their past. To understand what situations, lead to the trauma that is divorce. Allow God to work in their lives and slowly go through the details that lead to the destruction of their previous marriage. Are they now running away from their past only to repeat it again down the road.
3
It is critical to understand what the grounds were for divorce. For my practice there are four grounds for divorce that I would consider that allows someone to possibly remarry other than death. Death is an automatic, (1 Cor 7:39) they can get married if they feel they cannot control their lust or passion (See 1 Cor 7:9). The first is adultery if the person who desires to remarry was married to someone who committed adultery and they were unable to reconcile then the person who was cheated on may re-
marry. The second reason I see in scripture that a person would be allowed to remarry would be if the former spouse was an unbeliever and refused to be married because the other partner was a devout Christian and, on those grounds, sought a divorce (See 1 Cor 7:12-16). The next reason I would consider would be if their former spouse was involved in sexual immorality. This would include a former spouse who was involved in pornography, strip clubs or who has been involved in virtual infidelity. I would listen to this person carefully and prayerfully. There is not a clear verse that says this person can remarry but I would walk through with them the following verses: 1 Cor 5:11-12, Eph 5:3-7, Eph 5:11-13, 2 Tm 3:1-5 and Ex 21:9-11. The last basis for me would be if the other partner was physically or emotionally abusive to them or their children or posed a threat to their life or their children’s lives. I do not find a clear directive here either but I would walk through with them 1 Tm 5:8, 2 Tm 3-5, Ps 9:18, Is 3:14-15, Ez 18:10-13, Amos 2:7 and finally Dt 24:1. In Dt 24:1 the reason for divorce is something “objectionable” 1
Deal, Ron L., Dating and the Single Parent: * Are You Ready to Date? * Talking With the Kids * Avoiding a Big Mistake * Finding Lasting Love
, Smart Stepfamily (Grand Rapids, Mi: Baker Publishing Group, 2012), 44.
2
Ibid., 57 3
Ibid., 44
appears to refer to anything indecent or unseemly
4
. This is sort of a slippery slope for this is the exact verse Jesus quoted in Mt 19:1-12 when he gave instruction concerning divorce. Again, I would prayerfully
walk through these scripture with the couple. I think Ron Deal gives us great advice on this subject by saying no one wants “shame” and “a shadow” cast on their new relationship because of their past marriage failure. It is important for the couple to know through God’s infallible Word that they are on God’s path for there lives.
5
I know this could be a topic all by itself and I do not want to make it one so I will just leave it at that. For those who are seeking to enter the dating world again it is important that they have a clear purpose for dating. If they are dating just for a recreational release, then they need to make that intention clear to the person they are dating. Dating should not be the end purpose rather in dating you are seeking someone you desire to commit the rest of your life to in a covenant relationship with. Ultimately the dating process should lead to marriage.
6
As a couple goes through this dating process they should be checking to see if the other person is a true follower of Christ.
7
I would suggest they need to be willing to worship in the same church and share many of the same doctrinal beliefs.
8
They need to have common interests and they should have similar life objectives. They better be OK with the other person’s parenting style and have a vision for family that
they can support.
9
Next it is important to reflect on and to seek God’s will and purpose for the lives and the lives of the all the family members in the blended family. Ron Deal gives great advice when he says as counselors, we need to help the couple plan not just the wedding but also prepare for how the family will blend. We need to help the couple prepare to negotiate the period of transitional stress they will be putting their families through when they marry.
10
Next, it is important to prepare the couple for the first few years of marriage. That it is going to be a stressful period for the family, and it really will not become a harmonious family until after the first five to seven years and that it is more stress full on the kids then it was when they adapted to becoming a single parent family.
11
The key I take with me is it is going to take time.
12
I will for sure use this quote: “That’s why you cook a stepfamily in a Crockpot, not a blender”.
13
4
John D. Barry et al., Faithlife Study Bible
(Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press, 2012, 2016), Dt 24:1.
5
Deal, Ron L., Dating and the Single Parent: * Are You Ready to Date? * Talking With the Kids * Avoiding a Big Mistake * Finding Lasting Love
, Smart Stepfamily (Grand Rapids, Mi: Baker Publishing Group, 2012), 56-57
6
Ibid., 34.
7
Ibid., 119.
8
Ibid., 33.
9
Ibid., 122. 10
Ibid., 208.
11
Ibid., 205.
12
Ibid., 209.
13
Ibid., 208.
Your preview ends here
Eager to read complete document? Join bartleby learn and gain access to the full version
- Access to all documents
- Unlimited textbook solutions
- 24/7 expert homework help