Disturbing behavior
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Disturbing Behaviors
Cyrus Sprague
CHMN 301 Foundations of NextGen Ministry
April 10, 2023
Description
Over the past few years, an older brother has watched as his brother has become
overwhelmingly an angry person. He lets things get bottled up and then all the sudden will let his
anger out. These outbursts can be pretty scary, and worrisome. He will scream, cry, or even
throw things. All of this as a twelve-year-old boy. The crazy part of the situation is that he has
what seems to be a good home life. He has a family that loves him, parents that love him, he has
friends, he has his older brother who tries to care for him as best as possible. For the people
around him, though, caring for him is hard, because the caring that is provided never seems to be
enough. For ages his family thought that his outbursts of anger were something that only he dealt
with, but after a little research, one can see that this is not a new or singular problem.
In his writing, Jim Hancock assures that what this boy is dealing with are not new to the
youth of a new generation. He says; “Their anger comes out as contempt, outbursts of rage,
mean-spirited humor…”
1
Students all over the face of America and the earth are learning how to
deal with anger. Children watch on as their parents fight nightly. They see how stressful living
life really is, and they only see one way to let out their stress and their fear of what is in front of
them. That is through anger. For some kids, anger looks like punching a wall. For others, it looks
like locking themselves in their room. Different kids have different ways to cope, but dealing
with anger is a behavior that can quickly become disturbing.
Examples
This little boy that struggles with anger, his name is Arthur. Arthur was a boy who grew
up in a home where his parents love him. However, those are his adopted parents. They took him
in at the age of four months, and two years later finally got the blessing of calling Arthur their
1 Jim Hancock,
Raising Adults: A Humane Guide for Parenting in the New World
(The Tiny Company Called Me,
2018), 88.
own. He is now twelve, and his body and life as he knows it is completely changing. Along with
hitting puberty, he has now started middle school in a public school after being home schooled
for 2 years due to covid. Arthur has a lot of stress that is put on his shoulders. He has been forced
to learn to make friends and do that in one of the scariest areas… middle school. With all of that
stress and fear, Arthur gets a lot of anger from it. He feels as though he messes up too much, and
he feels that he isn’t making others happy.
The problem with that is that Arthur doesn’t know what to do with the anger. This is
where his behavior becomes disturbing. The University of Mexico says “Disturbing behavior
usually causes people to feel concerned, alarmed, afraid or frustrated.”
2
There have been many
times where Arthur’s behavior has led others to feel concerned and alarmed for him. Never has
he done anything to self-harm himself, but he has gotten angry to the point where he will lash out
at somebody. He will let his anger about other things swell up until one person does something
wrong and he doesn’t like it. One time, his older brother was playing football with him and
Arthur kept throwing the ball over the brother’s head. So, the brother threw it over Arthur’s head.
The anger from a hard week at school, and his parents not letting him play more videogames
came out. He charged at his 6’ 3” brother. Wanting nothing but to let some anger out. He wanted
to scratch the brother but since he is a small boy not much happened. If he were bigger and more
powerful that situation would have been way worse.
That story is just one of many. Anger is a behavior that affects so many people. Learning
to deal with anger and how to have a bigger threshold for anger are huge when it comes to living
in the sinful world where anger abounds.
Solutions
2 “Disrupting vs. Disturbing Behaviors :: Campus Assessment Response Education- CARE | the University of New
Mexico” n.d
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There are no easy solutions to this behavior. Not for Arthur and not for people who
struggle with just minimal forms of anger. Some people naturally don’t have to deal with anger
as much as other people do. For Arthur, he must deal with his anger, but the people around him
need to help him with that as well.
For a personal solution that Arthur could take. A couple of solutions or at least steps for
Arthur to take are that he can change his outlook on things to get angry for what God is about. If
Arthur were to focus less on himself and getting what he wants, he would have less to be angry
about. Another way he can improve in this behavior is through understanding that he can control
his anger. God has given him the tools to control his anger. Practicing fruits of the spirit is a good
way to do this.
3
The people that are closest to Arthur need to take some steps towards a solution as well.
From Hancock’s book
4
we can get a few ways that leaders, peers, and guardians can help Arthurs
disturbing anger behavior. The first is by not trying to make everything into a competition. If
Arthur always has the stress of winning at life, he will always have the stress of being better than
who he is. Another way to help is by creating a safe environment, not being a bad example for
the way to handle anger. These are ways to help Arthur and those around him become better
stewards of what God has given them on this broken earth.
Biblical Response
Speaking of what God has given them, he has given them His word. One verse that stands
out to me is Ephesians 4:26. That says, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on
your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil.”
5
This verse shows that anger in itself is not
3
Evans, Kent. 2020. “Are You an Angry Dad? Two Ways to Overcome Anger as a Dad.” (Manhood Journey. July
15, 2020.)
4 Jim Hancock,
Raising Adults: A Humane Guide for Parenting in the New World
(The Tiny Company Called Me,
2018),
5
The Holy Bible: English Standard Version
(Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles, 2016), Eph 4:26–27.
a bad thing. However, it also implies that what we do with that anger can be bad. The way that
Arthur handles his anger is in a way that is sinful. He hurts others. He does not glorify God, and
he surely does not speak wholesomely. There is a way for him to be angry and not sin. That way
is through God and Jesus Christ’s righteousness. Anger is something that we saw Jesus deal with.
Jesus was outraged, but he did not sin. Arthur is on the cusp of a big turning point in his life. He
either turns to God for help, or he continues to live an angry life. Verses like these can be used to
encourage him.
Conclusion
Arthur is somebody who is very near and dear to many. He has a church that supports
him. A family that supports him. He even has a brother that loves him like no other. Anger has
put a dent into some of those relationships, but love is so much stronger than anger. Especially
the love of Christ. I hope and pray that Arthur can rely on God and turn his life around. I hope
that because I am his brother.
Bibliography
“Bible Study: Let’s Talk Anger.” 2016. YouthESource. March 7, 2016.
http://www.youthesource.com/2016/03/07/bible-study-lets-talk-anger/
.
“Disrupting vs. Disturbing Behaviors :: Campus Assessment Response Education- CARE | the
University of New Mexico.” n.d. Care.unm.edu. Accessed April 11, 2023.
https://care.unm.edu/assessing-behavior/disrupting-vs.-disturbing-
behaviors.html#:~:text=Disturbing%20behavior%20usually%20causes%20people
.
Evans, Kent. 2020. “Are You an Angry Dad? Two Ways to Overcome Anger as a Dad.”
Manhood Journey. July 15, 2020.
https://manhoodjourney.org/angry-dad/?
gclid=CjwKCAjw586hBhBrEiwAQYEnHUEgiNu4nGw3TvCXSdiiK9roMxhbNm78_w
AD1LNpihccMzPQW_rqZhoCTEMQAvD_BwE
.
Hyppolite, Jennifer. 2021. “Dealing with Anger Issues: Biblical Advice from a Christian
Counselor.” Bellevue Christian Counseling. September 24, 2021.
https://bellevuechristiancounseling.com/articles/dealing-with-anger-issues-biblical-
advice-from-a-christian-counselor
.
Jim Hancock,
Raising Adults: A Humane Guide for Parenting in the New World
(The Tiny
Company Called Me, 2018), 95.
Jim Hancock,
Raising Adults: A Humane Guide for Parenting in the New World
(The Tiny
Company Called Me, 2018), 95.
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